decade.

holy F*ing sh!t, duders-
i spent the last year being a huge flippin' diaper baby.
heartbreak! self-improvement! dedication! ruin! drama! everlasting waking human tragedy!
a runaway trainwreck of ups and downs and motivated move-making.
turns out, one move was all it ever really took.
damn.
i'm tired.
that's over and done with, no dignity in denying it.
i'm not especially happy about any of it,
but i guess we all have to realistically look at the actions that have always
spoken louder than the muted and diluted uncommunicative whispers that
supplanted active participation within these hallowed halls of the hottness.
what i mean is-
the final ballot has been cast,
and the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress will respect the results.
i have been diminished, but i didn't vanish,
so i suppose it's time to start over again.
...again.
not exactly an uplifting concession speech, huh?
a whole year of all that sincerity and scarred, scared true storytelling.
jeez,
i can't believe you guys stuck with it.
thanks.
real life documentarianism doesn't write the script, y'know?
every game has a loser.
this time it's me.
***********
today is the day, mutha-'uckers,
and it's gonna be a big brutal batch of blarpity crap.
there's no denying or escaping that truth...
however,
it's also the first day of a whole new era.
probably an era of epic-level tragic loneliness,
and maybe even some misanthropic nihilism,
but also of totally getting back to my roots as a worthy warrior poet
keeping it really real in the woodsly goodness..
uh-huh.
i mean it, and besides-
it's groundhog day, neighbors!
and the sun is out.
and i see shadows everywhere, too.
but that's not the only reason today is the day, folks.
no way.
it's also the anniversary of my nile-style plummet into obscurity.
huh?
yeah, i said it: i flow north, my ninjas,
and i have done for a whole sunovamotherb!tchin' decade.
ten years, y'all.
in a row.
today.
fitting, right?
a fresh start from scratch on the same day,
three thousand six hundred and some-odd days later?
and i sure have got more to work with compared to
what i migrated in the wrong direction with the first time.
i mean it.
and i almost can't believe it.
there's some sh!t-salad symmetry in this mirror-imaged role-reversal.
ten fucking years!
(and you know i don't usually let the expletives run pure)
so what if i wasted them all on the wrong things?
so what if i've got next to nothing to show for it?
so we'll just call it even,
and take it up a nother 'nother notch on it's way to eleven.
i mean, there's only ever just two options,
and we know who chose which one, don't we?
just sayin'- i'm still right here.
so it's pretty dang clear who keeps it poppin',
and who F*s right off the list.
awwwwwwwwwwwww.
ten years of all of this;
i am grateful for the time i have been given.
i don't even really know why.
but, good or bad, and ugly, it's all really happening.
that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....