what the F* is gluten?

oh, word?
you didn't think that the wonder-twin activation of me and the cucch
could figure out some even newer even fresher hottness?
really?
damn.
you must really be an A*-hole, then.
me and my main man took up the challenge, neighbors.
that's right.
oh.
wait, what do you mean what challenge?
the no-wheat gluten-free vegan macaroon rock-blocks sans-recipe challenge.
duh.
and we dominated it.
obvi.
i mean,
if it'd been a failure, i'd probably have kept it to myself, y'know?
no sense in revealing an even less impressive side to my already limited attributes.
awwwwwww.
c'mon.
anyway,
we toasted coconut, we powdered coconut, we ground our oats,
and we caramelized a whole flippin' bag of brown sugar with a stick of butterish.
when we added in a bag of mini chocolate chips to the still-hot buttery battery blops,
they melted in and made 'em into a dark brown swirly melted super-rad new thing.
that's no jokes, jerks.
without further tantalization, check the teleport:

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
another whole 'nother other expert invention, ninjas!
we can just add it to the list of intuitive ingredient interactions, duders.
just some sweet nuthin'-type sumthin' sumthin' for all my peoples out there
who get all glutarded on those wheaty jauns and can't hang out with the aftereffects.
yeah.
*
i'm practicing to make perfect, kids.
slowly but surely,
i'm working on being the best possible version of myself.
and that includes modifying recipes on every level.
disasterpiece masterworks and successful calamities are integral to that process.
i want to be the kind of mutha-'ucker that really real peoples want to be around.
and not just for the flippin' cookies an' that.
it's been a minute since the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress became an autocracy,
and it's working out so far.
...except for those failing and flailing absentee movie checks.
ugh.
it sucks going broke so slowly,
but it'd probably suck worse going bust all at once in a ball-out blast.
ah well,
things that suck fade with time,
and time keeps flying by.
i'm just sayin'-
today is yet another day,
and a whole new snowy blizzard-holed sh!t-hot frozen mess is happening.
it all always really is,
and i'm gonna keep repeating myself until it stops.
(and it never stops)
snowstorms and snowdrifts and windchills and frostbites, my ninjas.
fortyhundred feet of snow can't slow us down, though-
we've got a job to do...
...and this is it;
never quiet, never soft.....