fifty-two pick-up.

hey duders,
it's just another tuesday in the white mountains.
except,
on this tuesday the whole town is jam-packed with A*-holes;
and every available seat at every local eating establishment
has got a fat out-of-towner or their fat greasy kids smearing
themselves across this idyllic eden of woodsly goodness.
traffic jamming?
we GOT they.
rural urban sprawl?
we GOT they?
infuriated indigenous ingenious gendarmes taking out their frustrations
on all these minky, mincey diaperbabyish doo-doo butterballs all along the
expanse of this normally lazy, presently crazy valley of chaotic tourism
entitled imbeciles and parasitic economics?
not only do we GOT they, but i'm living in the midst of it, neighbors.
hard styles for miles,
and all the while,
me and my family are keeping it so flippin' real it almost hurts.
...but in a good way.
*
okay,
we also got pretty fresh in the kitchen this morning, too.
i mean,
we are so expert at all times that we can't really help it can we?
nope.
we have to embrace the infinite nature we nurture at the epicenter of these
spreading shockwaves of circular logic and geographic limitations.
huh?
we do what we do,
and on our version of the weekend,
we bake up a big ol' batch of something dope.
what else could we hope to accomplish, anyway?
slicing up some fruit,
whipping around the batter,
and baking the holy sh!t outta this whole flippin' place.
today is a good day, kids, if you like bad days.
check the teleport:

yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
cinnamon apple-filled, maple-syrup spiced creamy frosted,
marled-sugar-crystal-sprankled apple cupcakes.
....for your mutha-'ucking face, F*ers!
three kinds of apples!
five kinds of sugar!
and pie-in-my-eye-type goobieblops up inside those jauns!
teleport to the center of the cake:

wordimus prime, friends.
i'm getting kind of borderline perverted again with my over-the-top nonstop
hottness, and i'm setting a solid example for my seedlings, too, y'heard?
too much is the right amount,
and settling for less definitely makes you a complete and total A*-hole.
and that weak-sauce isn't drizzling out on my watch.
recognize.
***********
and in other news,
i have fifty two weeks without the warm embrace of a woman behind me.
for realsies- today is the day.
think i'm kidding?
yeah, okay, riiiiight.
because that's something to brag about.
think about it for a minute, my ninjas-
three-hundred and sixty three days, in a row.
but who's counting?
(i am)
huh?
oh, yes, for sure-
it's the absolutely hardest of all styles,
and it doesn't even suck balls, y'all...
because that'd be somethin', after all, and we wouldn't want that, now would we?
(i think i would, for what it's worth)
y'know what the dread pirate says, don'tcha?
yep:
get used to disappointment.
indeed.
family togetherness is pretty great stuff,
but stuck-togetherness is not too shabby either.
life IS pain, princess,
and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
it's all really happening,
except for that one thing;
never quiet, never soft.....7x52 E.D.I.T.W.D.