what do you know about gluten?
yeah, it IS dope.
but,
there are some folks out there who can't hang out with it at all.
far be it from me to exclude them from my culinary genius;
i mean,
it's not their choice that their fragile bellyholes aren't psyched on wheat.
y'know?
yeah,
you DO know, dontcha?
so,
check the gluten-free teleport, neighbors:
oatmeal-tapioca-rice flour coconut blondies!
i even used some of that thick-A* coconut milk in 'em, too,
just to make the cakey hottness extra fudgy.
word.
(p.s. it totally worked.)
and yes, my ninjas,
that IS coconut frosting, double fluffy style,
with chocolate ganache goobieblops drizzled all over the top of that.
and then a sprankle of just a little bit more coconut on top,
to make sure we took it to eleven.
i get it in, guys, gluten or not.
***********
and for breakfast, b!tches?
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
four layers of crumby cobble-pot expert blueberry business!
teleport to the realm of epic jealousy:
oatmeal-graham crackery pie-crusty bottom-b!tch layer,
with a slightly cinnamoned blueberry b!tchslap-blops layer,
and a tart old-world jewish-grandma-style crumb cake layer,
and an oatmeal dutch streusel roof over that whole house to keep it hot.
i get busy, y'all.
and i've got great news for all of you-
both of these treats,
as well as those peanut buttery fudge-filled chocolate cupcakes
will be waiting for your fat F*ing faces to come and munch 'em up
all day long at the tattoo studio today.
come and get them, or i will end up a fat and sloppy mess.
save me from myself, mutha-lickers.
like, now and sh!t.
*
i guess it just snows all the time now?
that's cool.
because i love shoveling.
for realsies.
i'm getting used to moving a bunch of inconvenient beauty out of the way-
because for all it's silence and seeming serenity,
it's still super-slippery, treacherous, and frigid.
awwwwwww.
hard styles and china-shop-bullish metaphors.
i doo-doo that juggernaut of implications-type sh!t.
i've got banks to dismantle, duders;
never quiet, never soft.....
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