i like cute things, should i apologize?

neighbors,
while y'all were sleeping,
i was bright-eyed, albeit with big bags beneath them,
and i was in the kitchen, well-lit by moonbeams,
yet somewhat shadowy from the dawn's break.
and why was i creepin' around instead of sleepin' soundly?
because treats are an imprtant part of my morning routine,
and incomplete treats make me all anxious and uneasy.
that's why,
while you were catching zzzz's,
i was sifting and sorting and dusting confectioners sugar
all over the tops of my viennese whirls.
yup.
actually,
they're closer to danish butter-style cookies,
but they're pastry-bag-squeezey, in swirly circles,
kinda like those whirls...
so, i guess, they're sort of both.
what?
what's a royal dansk butter cookie?
didn't you have a grandma?
jeez.
look it UP, for cryin' out loud.
anyway,
i was awake, and i was dusting 'em,
regardless of what you name y'all choose for 'em.
the snowdrift softness of sweet finely crushed sugar
makes for a far more interesting view from the top.
ok, ok, sure,
the tops aren't very far away from the bottoms,
but that's only because they're teentsy-weensty bite-sized little babies.
awwwwww.
they are SO kyooooooot.
that's right.
and cuties are always invited to the party, people.
tell you what,
check the treats-can-be-sandwiches-type teleport:

yeah!!
butter-style,
with cornmeal and confectioners sugar in the mix,
for a hearty, sweet,no-joke texture,
crisp on the outside, but melty in your mouth.
mmmmmmmmm.
and in-between the two tiny cookie spirals,
there's dark chocolate creme filling.
it's rich, it's righteous, it's really dense and delicious.
the trick is to whip it up a whole lot,
so that air gets in there and makes it squeezable from out of a pastry bag.
i wish the batter was that soft.
i nearly carpal tunneled my way to arthritisville grabbing at the bag of dough.
ouch.
i figure it ALL costs something,
so a little investment in limp-wristed bad bones bakery business isn't that expensive
as far as reaping the rewards of these cute little chompables is concerned.
they're so small, i can't feel badly about eating one.
the thing of it is,
who the F* is gonna eat just one.
they're too good, and it's too easy not to overdo it by the handful.
i suppose that's the point, though, of making them especially delicious, no?
too much is the right amount,
and therefore the correct serving size is roughly too many.
i'm on it.
i only wish i'd made more.
dang.
***********
breakfast?
don't mind if i do.
i got some weird new bacon-style strips yesterday in my travels,
and i was eager to get 'em in my mouth.
nothing actually tastes like bacon to me,
but after twenty years of not eating it,
i just enjoy the sweet salty smoky flavor of anything that tries it's best
to be a dead-bodiless approximation of the original.
benevolent bacon?
hardly.
but that's what the folks at sweet earth call theirs.
whatever.
i ate it, and it did what it was supposed to,
especially when paired with a slab of seitan slapped up with those sesame seed
skins and sides from last night's cornstarched coating.
yummmmmm.
i even got some shredded lettuce going,
and a shmear of garlic hummus, for added powerhouse activation in my mouth.
check the teleport:

yep.
butter-toasted pretzel bread is pretty damned good,
and it went well with the rest of the sandwich, too.
the pretending-to-be-bacon got crispy,
which was a nice touch, especially since it starts out wet.
weird.
anyway,
there's plenty more sandwiches headed our way.
it's only day five, out of an eight-day stretch,
and that means the objectives have yet to be met.
more of all of it,
and all of it all the time.
that's what we want,
and that's what we'll get;
never quiet, never soft.....