jinxed.

chocolate-covered chocolate oatmeal chocolate chips cookies,
with ground up big-block little bits of chocolate sprankles???
yep.
stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks,
making sweet lovely lovin' exxxplode all up in my tastepiece.
mmmmmhmmmmm.
you go ahead and do what you want, today, neighbors,
but i'll be right over here getting cookie monstrous with my mouth.
that's real.
recognize-
it's another 'nother friday the thirteenth,
and once again,
all the misfortunes that favor the meek, weak, mincey,
and diluted diaperbabyish duders who don't get loud fresh and hard,
are coalescing into a bad-luck b!tchslap for all those unworthy,
watered-down doo-doo butterballs who line up for discount tattoos an' that.
ohhhhhh, daaaaaaaaaaammn.
i said it.
it's documented.
i meant it.
the bold and the not-so-beautiful, forever,
but never ever ever the bargain basement bottom-rung basic jauns.
nope.
no way.
keeping it ugly AND dope means staying 100 percent on that pricepoint, peeps.
no coupon-clippin' sh!t-sippers allowed at the tatzap studio,
not even on a thirteen-dollar holler all over this friday.
i can't do it, and i'm not doin' it, and despite today being the day.
it's not flash and fun and whatever else.
it's full-price friday the thirteenth,
and all you're ever entitled to is a free look.
(that's IT...and if you don't know, you'd better ask somebody.)
also,
you can have one of these expert mutha-'uckers right here, too.
teleport:

kaBOOMfire!
i mean, c'mon.
when you put the melty dark dark darkness in chocolate form
on the chocolate and the oats?
it's good.
but when the chocolate and the oats already have chocolate chips all in 'em?
it's better.
and then,
when those soft, chewy, chunky, oaty nuggets,
with their cocoalicious lusciousness,
and their chompably choice chip scenario,
mix in with that spread-thick chocolate frosted flav',
AND those shaved-off of the bar truffle-type shavin' sprankles????
everything inside the sphere of influence
that this cookie-friday's activation provides becomes
F*ing expert all day long, and definitely jinx-proof, too.
-
they're just so soft, and despite all the knobs and knurls of the oats,
they're pretty dang smooth, too.
and, no jokes, that melty chocolate goodness on approximately half of each cookies,
when bitten at a half-and-half ratio by those little enamel heroes in your gums?
that's when the flush of success meets up with, teams up with,
and gorilla-press powerbombs all the doubts tingling on the tip of your tongue.
for real.
it all comes together sometimes, and when it does?
mmmhmmm-     damn it feels good to be a baker.
yup.
***********
it decided to stop being so windy.
but,
it also simultaneously decided to be super flippin' cold again.
the thing is,
i'd rather have cold temperatures than sun and wind.
i am not about that blown air business.
not at all,
not one little teeny-weeny tiny baby bit.
so,
i'm bundled and huddled,
and as i'm typing my skeletal fingers are going purplish with cold circulation woes,
but,
i've got cookies and hot tea,
and i've got friday the thirteenth to dominate into a coma,
so, really, when the bigger picture is viewed from afar,
i've got too much to do to worry about the weather.
today is the day,
and it's unfolding along the sidewalk cracks and shatterlines of broken mirrors;
never quiet, never soft.....