i'm pretty excited about the symbolic sweetspot i've hit,
upon awaking from the weird wolds and restless folds
of the residual individual miniature maelstrom of momentary weakness
i experienced last night.
hmmm?
oh.
i was very tired, and very grumpy, and a little hurt-feelings'd,
and i got home and blew up,
releasing all the pent-up simmering and seething sorcery
that dwelling and obsessing and perseverating on the past will produce.
and as soon as i let off the littlest bit of steam,
the seals burst wide, the gate were thrown open,
and a massed and massive exodus of each and every evil and ugly emotion
i've been keeping tightly tethered broke loose,
and i spewed out all the filthy, jealous, foul, frustrated and vile piles of bile,
the vats and vials of vitriol,
the caustic vented spleen splatters,
and all the other other assorted railings and failings
and caterwauls and laments and curses against the relative
inconsistency of active participation and worthy warrior merit
versus the rewards one reaps in direct proportion to being less deserving...
working harder and doing more but getting less of everything as a result
can make even the most expert endurer of hard styles need a minute
to flip out like a berserker barbarian battle-beast bard,
puking out a paean to the
basically,
i threw an adult tantrum against circumstance.
y'know?
but,
after an elite sandwich, and an understanding listener,
i collapsed quickly,
completely used-up, worn-out, ground down, and absolutely exhausted.
(i might actually be powered by anger, as well as assisted by sandwiches)
one fitful and fretful sloppy, floppy, choppy night's sleeps later.
and it sure seemed especially bright outside when i opened my eyes.
yeah.
that's when i remembered something pretty flippin' rad.
neighbors,
we're time-travelers!!
and we've left the past behind.
sixty minutes into the future,
and already the laments and expended sense, cents, and scents of yesterday
are completely obsolete.
today is the day, and it's going to be great.
in fact,
despite today being the very last day of the back-to-back big action bigger business
ball-out all-out Folk Life festival of food and flavors and spirit and memory
that has ever gotten busy gettin' busy between buns,
a.k.a. sandwich week,
i'm still going to keep it at eleven with the final day's grand finale feasting.
word up.
am i tired of sandwiches yet?
ew, what are you?
some kind of an A*-hole?
it's not like i'm some ham-and-cheesy, generic wonder white pb&j jerktard.
jeez.
don't be dumb.
i'm combining all the styles,
i'm creating all the tastes,
i'm curating a collection of preposterous hottness,
and i'm already looking forward to november.
yup,
there's another 'nother one then.
that's riiii-iiight.
too much is the right amount,
and 'enough' is really hard to come by.
and the thing is- if there is MORE to be had?
well,
i just happen to have cleared out a whole lot of luggage and baggage
and bitterness, and a few leftovers too;
so now, (and right on schedule)
there's plenty of room inside the furious stormswept fist-shaped furnaces
of my raging ferocious double-bass-boosted barbarian heart.
believe it.
............
*
hey,
y'wanna know something else?
you don't?
awwww, man!
well,
that's kind of a bummer,
because it's all headed your way right now-
what happens in the morning?
lots of things.
but, what happens in the mornings during sandwich week?
you know it, friends.
breakfast sandwiches.
yesterday, AND today.
the final pair of morning glories,
serving to grow my midsection into a man-mountainous bike-tire
of big and fat and blarpity terrible tonnage......eventually.
but,
from the pan to the bread to my mouth,
those first few lengths of the journey are absolutely fantastic.
that's real.
check the yesterday-plus-one-hour-type teleport:
yum.
baconish, lettuce, tomato, tofu, bagel,...expert!
that's good stuff, especially when the bagel getts buttered-up a little bit, too.
full fat is where it's at.
mmmmm.
and now,
check the future-perfect-minus-one-hour-type teleport:
y'know what you get when get it going on?
you get a grand finale barbarian baguette for breakfast!
caramelized leeks are delicious,
and when you toast the bread in the leftover olive oil,
you get all that exxtra flavor soaked right up in there.
so good.
seared king oyster mushrooms,
and that weird wet benevolent bacon business,
some arugala, (it's still a veg-e-ta-ble)
and a twist or two of salt and pepper fresh from the grinders.
i'm tellin' y'all- it's the right way to enter the future.
***********
this is it.
i'm gonna let all the weak sauce wallow in the past.
and also, in the damned dumb dirty south.
there's a whole lot of cold, hard, wet, warrior poetry yet to be composed,
and there's no use reciting the old lines.
they no longer have the power they used to,
and there's so many more new and better ways to span time.
i'm gonna keep telling myself that,
and we'll see if i can convince my labyrinthine brain to disregard
all that stored-up information and experience that keeps the wrenches turning,
the styles hardening, and the fires raging.
i don't know that i can countenance one OR the other,
but maybe both can occupy time and space together.
the past and the future, simultaneously?
but,
what about right now??
right now, it's all really happening, and that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....
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