october means pumpkins

neighbors,
you know me.
rules is rules.
we know that september was all about the apples.
october, on the other hand, is ALL about pumpkins.
yep.
that's the decree,
and it is as it should be.
yeah!
ummmm, what?
what am I on about?
i'm on about that pumplestiltskin puree power,
like a stormswept savage barbarian baker-man;
and i'm crazyhopped up on cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, mace, and cloves.
yuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
there's bound to be a whole month's worth of orange-colored,
pie-flavored pure-being pump's and 'kins for EVERYbody up in here.
that's right.
i do-doo that out-of-my-gourd-style sh!t.
i really do.
and at this exact moment, it's actually all really already happening.
check the cakey-cakehead-type teleport:

c'mon.
i mean, C'MON.
pumpkin cake?!?!
yes. indeed it is.
full of brown sugar and real maple syrup,
doubly moistened and molto softened with heaps of pumpkin,
and a cup of vanilla soy-yogurt,
and then really turned the eff up with generous pinches
of all the spices that make it oh-so-nicey-nice.
mmhmmmm.
i know about pumpkin jauns.
y'know what else i know about?
frosting.
duders,
that's the stuff that ca make or break a slice of new hottness, for sure.
maplecreme frosting, with that site-specific orange hue,
custom blended and gently spread all over the crumb cap of that cake.
and cinnamaple swirls all goobieblopped on top,
in slightly darker, deeper, richer, real maple syrupy spots,
for even more enriching excellence on your delicate and eager palates.
is that all?
...nope.
don't even be like that.
it's unbecoming
a pinch of cocoa, and a dash of cloves, added into the remaining frosting,
for a darker, browner, more fallish brown-sugary second set of swirls,
was the only way to really activate a little more hot fire for your face.
yeah.
i mean,
too much is the right amount,
and two kind of frosting is fancy,
but three is the magic number,
and it is also super-fancy and slightly unnecessary-
which is really just another way to say: compulsory.
ha!
and yes, i obviously needed just a little baby bit more boomfire,
so i had to shake a sh!tload of candy-corn-colored sprankles on top.
you like it.
i do too.
i mean,
what am i?
an A*-hole?
um.
no.
decidedly not.
all the good octobery jauns are invited.
and i expect they'll turn up and get turnt up over the next thirty-one days.
you can expect that i'll certainly do what needs doing to ensure that happens.
*
nature wins.
guys,
outside my window, moments ago,
a mourning dove narrowly escaped the claws of a hawk.
both collided with the outer shell of my expansive manse,
and flew off in pursuit.
one in pursuit of life and liberty,
the other in pursuit of breakfast.
HOLY SH!TBURGERS, my friends.
as i watched out the window,
alerted by the sounds of slamming bodies against the hull of my home,
a whole other 'nother all different hawk blew out of the trees,
and totally dive-bombed the first one!!
the dove was safely away- no doubt dazed from his window collision,
and the near-miss of the failed assassination attempt.
but,
as he winged his way through the woodsly goodness,
an all-out aerial assault unfolded in a taloned and beaked red-barony ballet.
wow.
wow wow wow.
two different raptors,
two different struggles,
and now the sun finally making itself seen,
for the first time since tuesday afternoon?
nature F*ing wins so hard.
i'm grateful for the time i have been given,
and i'm grateful that october has already begun unfolding in conscienceless horror.
this is the season for it,
and this is What Is.
damn.
the really realness of real life is a hard style, indeed.
i wonder if a whole other other pumpkin cake will sail in one the wind,
and attack this one while i'm slicing into it?
that'd be something.
today is the day,
and i bet it's gonna be one heck of one, at that;
never quiet, never soft.....