the joke is on me.

hahahahaha.
there's sh!t EVERYwhere!

more like craptree.
ha.
puppy poopies all up in my entire realm.
the yard has got a minefield of messiness hidden like soft serve slop slaps
in and amongst the frost-rimmed leaves along the lands
of this presently sleepless and rambunctious Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
crap, neighbors.
literal and figurative.
mostly outside, at least,
but holy F*birds,
it's outside in abundance...
the weirdest thing about animals, both wild ones and pets?
(excluding cats, which categorically signify an irreparable deficit of character)
they LOVE to eat dead things.
like, so hard, and so much, with their whole snout and face-
and it's dead things that turn into the worst doo-doo butter there is on offer.
yuck.
i may be a pain-in-the-A* elitist vegan meal planner,
but crabtree is really just NOT.
as for his diet,
he's reppin' some grain-free whole-cloth dried-carcass kibbly niblets.
it's supposedly better for their bellies
and we're slowly blending that into the foodstuffs he showed up with.
apparently,
unlike going vegan,
whereby somehow your whole butthole turns magical and sparkly,
and everything gets better almost immediately-
when you change over from one dog food to another,
even in a gradual weaning and proportional decrease/increase ratio,
the initial switcheroo, no matter how subtle,
causes a cataclysm of colonic volcanic eruptions.
as much as we all love to hear a good story about sh!t-salad,
i think this one is a tale of sh!t-soup.
guh-roooooosssssss.
poops on poops on poops, and no scoops to speak of.
....yet.
*
sleep?
that's not a thing.
i mean, it wasn't really before, but now?
it's not even an unbelievable fairy tale.
steady on the conditioning grind,
and activating some R+ training cues,
(which is dog nerd talk for doing it the hard way)
yup.
i did this to myself.
like i needed even less time and even more work for even fewer dollars on both ends.
i might not be rested, and i certainly effed up my movie check scenario,
but i've got a new friend,
and honestly,
even though he's kind of a little A*-hole,
he's just what i needed.
now all he needs is another 'nother one.
i mean,
really,
if we're already up to our ears in cutesy recalcitrant terrier tyranny,
there's no good reason not to double down and get it over with in one fell swoop.
a man needs a beast,
and a beast needs a partner.
rules is rules.
i'm on it,
and we'll see where it goes;
never quiet, never soft.....