road rage in a parking lot.

i had to throw the remnants of an extremely juicy burrito at a car.
yes i did.
what?
no, for real.
i had to.
neighbors,
i really had to.
i mean,
it was such a specific situation,
such a doucheblasting turd explosion,
such an obligatory throwback to the days of hamden warrior spirit,
what with us headed to the heart of connecticut, no less-
the circumstances all aligned and put us in the right spot at the right time.
yeah.
...
but first,
let me tell you that the fifth anniversary of emergency tofutti
was every bit as expert as every other other incarnation.
but then again,
it's always awesome.
i mean it.
it did have a hot-weather relief sort of vibe this time,
which activated it just a little bit more than usual....
check the s.o.s.-very-emergency-type teleport:

peanut butter and cookie??
yuuuuuuuuuuup.
that sh!t is the TRUTH.
and while we're talking about it-
not for nothin',
but those supersaturated color sprankles are where it's at.
that's no joke.
after all,
rules is rules,
and we doo-doo what we do because our traditions make up for the minutes
and hours and days in between.
that's a hard style when it isn't happening,
and the sweetest 'screamy dream when it is.
we enjoy what we do, and we do it together, me and mine.
*
anyway,
look at this wet mess of poorly-wrapped chipotle bomb-diaper-
teleport:

blarp city, right?
well, we were eating in the car, getting ready to gnaw our food to a manageable size,
and finish it up on the road.
making good time is a thing, especially if you're a dad.
uh-huh.
that's a thing, and you'd better believe it.
however,
as we munched up a little bit-
directly in front of us,
in the right-of-way in the parking lot,
some necktarded A*-holery unfolded in front of our faces.
one extra-large suburb truck,
as in- gold trimmed and white,
with the mall-lot monster-truck features loved by giant F*holes,
pulled up and parked in an invented spot, in the middle of the lane.
now,
that's not very cool....
but when a whole five-piece lacrosse-looking rapey fraternity turds piled out?
five young dude-guy dudes in one big douche truck,
not in any kind of parking space?
that's actionable, friends.
and when they opened the door to chipotle, and the line was too long,
so they went to subway??
subwaaaaaaaaaaay??
what the actual F*?!
no way.
nope.
i can't hang out with that,
it cannot stand, y'all.
i sort of wish, in retrospect,
that when amber was grumbling about their sh!ttiness,
i didn't offer to fire my burrito at their vehicle,
or that she had the voice of reason in her head that recommended she refuse the offer.
however,
she said yes,
and rules is rules.
so,
we pulled away, back to our roadtrip roundhouse,
and on the way past their in-the-way jauns,
i delivered one big ol' filthy biodegradable smearface of quad-salsa sh!t-salad
to the hood and windshield of their d!ckmobile.
dammit.
i got caught up in the moment.
also,
i could've eaten those last few bites.
also also,
the driver had on a button down shirt, cargo shorts,
with chin length red hair, and a backwards white hat!
what?
is that not an outfit worthy of a de-burritofying car wash?
c'mon.
i s'pose i could've waited to see the reactions,
but i had promises to keep, and miles to go before i slept and that.
hamden lives on, while water sleeps;
never quiet, never soft.....