Saturday, July 7

FALAFEL FRIDAY!!

y'feelin' awful?
awwww.
that's no good.
y'know what'd probably make you feel awesome??
a sandwich.
but, not just some random between-bread bummer, bro.
no way,.
that's what a lame-A* loser would do, 
and that ain't us, is it duders??
nope.
we're on the victorious victual gravy-train to valhalla over here'
so the sort of quittery cop-out that isn't going off the charts to eleven
is NOT invited to my makeout parties...
y'feel me?
we need something expert.
we need something special.
we need the fiery fuego of freshness for our faces.
we need FALAFEL.
word.
check the teleport:
kaBOOOOOOOOM!!!!
homemade pita? yeah!
all those leafy fixin's?? yeah!!
from-scratch falafel burgers? yeah!!!
neighbors,
i wasn't even gonna go hard.
seriously.
i had a nearly-meatish impossible vegan burger, 
from the weird wicked fresh gourmet burger spot in town,
delivered by my continual dinner companion, dylan, for lunch.
so, i was feeling greasily glutted with bread and beetroot blops.....
but, rules is rules
and when it's sandwich week we make sandwiches;
and also, we eat sandwiches, and in between we document the journey from 
concept to creation,
and the detail the process for you.
that's just how it is.
so that's just what's going to keep happening.
six days of sammies, and i'm still feeling good, too.
DUDES!
that custom pita flapper was pretty flippin' tiiiight, too.
really, it was the perfect balance of firm and pliable, 
plus it held it's own in the flavor department, 
and held all it's contents like it was s'posed to.
that's an A+.
-
*
PITAS!
-
in my stand mixer, with the dough hooker working overtime, combine:
2 T vegan sour cream;
1/2 tsp sugar;
dash of salt;
1 1/4 cups flour + 1-3 T as necessary;
2 tsp bakey powder;
1/3 cup warm water.
...SO SIMPLE, but SO DOPE.
kneaded for like, ten minutes, and rested for another 'nother ten, 
before being divided in half, 
and flattened out on a floured surface into two big ol' discs...
that's when you lightly oil a great big very hot skillet,
and fire up each of 'em for a minute or two on each side.
yep.
y'can't eff it up...but if you do? then there's no sandwiches for you. 
c'mon.
don't ruin everything, man.
-
the there's those falafel patties, guys.
y'all don't even know, but you're boutta learn-
-
*
FALAFZZZ!
-
you'll want to utilize a food processor for this part.
-
2-3 cloves of sauteed garlic;
1/4 cup red onion;
1/3 cup chopped parsley;
1/3 cup cilantro (i used stems, it's fine)
12 oz drained chick peas;
1 T jalapeno;
1/4 cup chick pea flour;
2 T lemon juice;
2 T olive oil;
cumin, ground coriander seed, thyme, GPOP, smoked paprika, 
black pepper, and sumac (if you're cool like that and you've got some), 
all to taste.
pulse it all together, until it forms a chunky paste that you can form into burgery shapes.
i opted for that approach, because i'm already eating an acre of bread every F*ing day,
so adding deep-fried anything else is ust gonna make me feel worse about myself...
huh?
yeah, man. 
i'm in love with sandwiches, 
but i'm also in love with feeling positive about my health-conscious earth-friendly
proactive plant-based choices.
......so pan-fried fatties was the only choice i could live with.
5 patties, coated in chickpea flour, and sizzled up for a few minutes on each side 
in a glug of olive oil....
that's all you need. they get brown on the edges, they get cooked all the way through, 
and all those flavors get blasted into your mouth like you just won a prize, guys.
that's no joke.
*
...and then there's everything ELSE to consider...
yeah, man.
when it comes to falafel, too much is the right amount.
really.
we got baby spinach and sprouts.
there's halved baby grape tomatoes.
shaved red onion, sharp af, and crisp, too.
pickles? mandatory, once you have 'em on your falafel, there's no going back.
pickled jalapenos? yuuuuuup. they've got heat, and tang, 
and a shiny bright briny flavor that's TILTY on a 'guini.
pepperoncinis?  Wu-TANG! 
really, they're just even more of what you want.
how about that lemon-kissed salad, kids?
parsley and cilantro shaken-up and tossed in there, 
just to further explode the freshie-freshness of the overall big picture.
expert is a way of life, kid. 
and i don't just say it, i doo-do that freaky sh!t, like, every minute.
-
tahini sauce?
*ahem*
TAHINI SAUCE!
man, that's what's really good in the woods.
you need it. and you can have it.
here, lemme tell you how to hold somethin'...
-
sesame paste, lemon juice, GPOP, warm water, and black pepper.
2 tsp tahini: 1 T lemon: 1/4 tsp ea Garlic Powder Onion Powder: 
1 T warm water: coupla craxx black peps....
just a few stirs, and we're livin' in the future and the past 
and making something better than both that goes on top of a sandwich.
weird.
and lastly, sriracha. yeah yeah. sriracha. a little ho'sauce goes a long way towards
tying all the things up red hot slippery chili fire.
it's good for you.
trust me, or don't, but it'll still be true anyway.
***********
soooooo,
i'm moving fast-forward ferociously, with focus not frenzy, 
into a future where everything that has ever happened will need to be referenced,
cross-referenced, analyzed, interpreted and utilized with epic insight and efficiency,  
because it's all about to be totally different.
like, i'm talking about my F*ing day to day life,
and while i should only speak in non-specifics at the moment, 
as half the story isn't mine to tell,
tomorrow is rushing at me with violent velocity.
could it be forced consciousness expansion? 
maybe.
that's how it works, right?
you know the rules: buy the ticket, take the ride....
and just because you're in over your head doesn't mean you can't rise up 
a whole helluva lot higher than where you're at at the moment.
is that encouragingly vague enough?
i hope so.
personal growth opportunities come from endings becoming beginnings, 
and tentative baby steps towards big ideas, gaining momentum into bold leaps and bounds 
and long-legged leaps up and over the ordinary obstacles that would otherwise 
impede extraordinary circumstances evolving into epic extremes of fruitful, 
favorable, fortunate Folk Life & Liberty.
holy sh!t, that's a lot, huh?  
hard styles and hard choices and huge changes are all on the menu,
and while real life is ALWAYS happening,
it feels like these days are going by faster than my feet can keep up, 
and i'm getting carried away by the fast-track unfolding of purpose and possibility.
i dunno, bro.
i'm all hyped up on sandwiches and no sleep and incredibly busy days and 
all of the things that are all really happening.
i'm ready, and i'm willing;
never quiet, never soft.....

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