Thursday, July 12


i don't give a sh!t, bruh.
not one.
i know i shouldn't, because it's probably not a great idea,
i want to eat alllll the F*ing cookies.
no doubt about it.
one is nowhere near enough.
and besides, if there's gonna be cookies, they're gonna be homemade,
and if i'm making 'em, you'd best believe they're gonna be rock bloxxx.
that's no joke.
every other cookie is basically only kind of pretending to be cool;
meanwhile, the signature sexxxiness of a perfectly prepared peanut buttery oatmeal
chocolate chip coconut supertreat cannot be measured in units of cool,
nor in units of distance, magnitude, or majesty.
that's real.
check the teleport:

that's the way cookies are supposed to be.
and what's more? they're GLUTEN-F*ING-FREE.
i don't have any interest in any weak-A* waterbabyish weakness.
y'feel me?
i want the big deluxxxe.
i want ALL the flavors.
i want chocolate peanut butter icing, neighbors.
i want cookies that are registering off-the-charts with elite expert awesomeness.
and that's exxxatly what i've got over here right now.
three dozen chances to be the fattest.
...and i'm gonna take all those chances.
you wanna kow what's poppin' in the oven over here?
y'wanna know HOW you too can make a big ol' burly batch of brown sugary sweetness?
you DO?
preheat your oven to 375℉
in a medium-sized mixing bowl, cream together all the usual suspects:
1 cup light brown sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter.
mix well, and stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce.
2/3 cup natural unsweetened smooth peanut butter.
next, add all the dry stuff:
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 tsp baking ka-powder;
1 1/2 cup fresh-milled oat flour;
1/2 cup ground unsweetened unsulphured natural coconut;
1 cup bob's red mill gluten-free 1:1 baking four.
(i love bob, and you should too)
1/2 cup miniature baby-sized vegan chocolate chips.
mix it all up, and you'll have a slightly-sticky, sorta-soft, greasy af dough.
that's good.
that's what you want.
and then, you're going to make three dozen circles, and flatten 'em all slightly,
and arrange 'em evenly, and bake 'em for 13 minutes, man.
you'll be surprised at how F*ing expert these are.
and then, you'll be psyched,
and then you'll be super fat, because these go down too easy.
luckily for all of us, too much is the right amount,
so a rock block of rock bloxxx is exactly what we need.
that icing is TIIIIGHT.
a spoonful of peanut butter, a tablespoon of cocoa,
half a cup of powdered sugar, a splash of vanilla,
and a drop or two of non-dairy milk....
yeah man, it's dope.
without gluten, but with peanut butter.
i can hang out with that.
also, they were perfect.
also also, they stayed together, and tasted great,
and were much more of a success than that cake the other day.
i'll take my victories where i can get 'em.
and this one was a win, for sure.
i'm falling behind.
i've got too many irons in the fire,
and not enough arms to hold onto all these hard-to-handle handles...
i'm not scared, i'm not pushed, and i'm not worried.
i'm only half half as fast as i was yesterday.....
another day of tattoos all day,
another night of responsible pet-ownership and routine dinnertime decadence.
another 'nother impending exxxplosion of activities and investments.
all of it is all really happening,
and i'm not sure which things are extraneous to effective, efficient operation
of Folk Life & liberated worthy warrior poetry.
what do i ease up on, an what do i add more of?
i just don't know yet, kids.
i mean,
i'm learning how to live on two hours of sleep,
but the nights are already SO full....
i'm going to trust that events unfold along the creases we've created
in the blueprints of secret universal ochestrated architecture,
and it'll all work out the way it's supposed to.
it has to.
so, it will;
never quiet, never soft.....

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