Friday, July 13


it's friday the thirteenth.
that's cool.
i mean, it's not NOT cool anyway.
but y'know what's cooler than a hockey-masky kind of camp-counsellor-killing day?
pizza is the coolest.
and pizza is the best.
and pizza is the TRUTH.
all throughout july, i hadn't even had a homemade super-sexxxy one yet.
until now.
i mean, c'mon.
pizza is what we want, and need, and love, so piozza is what's happening.
and not just any pizza, either-
a turbo-deluxxxe detroit rock city deep dish square is where we took pizza night.
and it went straight to eleven, man.
no joke.
check the teleport:

HOLY SH!T, neighbors.
i sometimes still even surprise myself with how expert these jauns get.
the sauce in chunky as F*.
the crust is buttery and fluffy and firm and soft-centered and perfect.
the cheesy pull? elite.
and the filling is on point, as if it was time to rock a funky joint...
that's real.
did i bake it in a brownie pan? you bet your A* i did.
i don't think i can accurately explain how much this pizza was appreciated.
that crust! that sauce! that sausage!
vegan pizza is usually pretty good.
this vegan pizza is totally amazing.
lemme start with the da-long cold-proofed dough-
in your stand mixer, as always, combine:
1 cup bread flour;
1 cup semolina flour;
1 pkg regular-A*-actin' yeast;
1 tsp salt;
 T vegan butter;
3+ T cornmeal;
3/4 cup warm water w/ 1 tsp sugar and 1 tsp bread machine yeast bloomed.
beat it up for eleven minutes, on low speed,
and then cover it and put it right in the fridge all damned day long.
that's it.
when you get home, take it out, and preheat your oven to 475℉.
add even MORE vegan butts to your rectangular brownie-style cake pan,
and press the dough all the way to the edges, so it can bulk a bit before baking.
that's key.
the in-situ rise up makes for a substantially more excellent experience.
dylan (surprised?) sauteed some onions to a perfect caramel brown softness;
and he sauteed all the peppers, too-
red orange and yellow jauns, all cooked precisely right.
i fried up a LOT of garlic,
and browned the last four thin-sliced red lentil seitan sausages,
and made some pretty powerful chunkin' tomato sauciness, as well.
20 oz fire roasted tomatoes;
1/4 red onion;
1/2 purple carrot;
2 cloves fresh garlic-
food processed enough to get rid of anything enormous,
but not smashed up enough to be smooth.
brought up to a hard bubblin' boil in a saucepot,
and then simmered with salt, black pepper, and GPOP,
while the oven heats and the veggies sizzle, and so on and so forth.
y'like that? you should, because it's great.
like, SO much flavor everywhere.
and that's how it is s'posed to be, guys.
too much is the right amount.
the minced daiya mozzarella quantity?
one layer on the bottom of the crust.
then a heavy handful of arugula and all the onions;
more daiya over that-
and then the sausages and the peppers;
followed by even MORE daiya.
it's deep dish, not b!tch-pie, bro.
then alllllll that rich, thick, succulent tomato sauce,
with a shake of nootch over the top, to cheese it up and put B-vitamins all up in there, too.
then, there's fried garlic sprankles.
OBVI, bro.
rules is rules,
and pizza parties around here don't ever start until the spranks show up.
you bake this baddie for twenty minutes, turning once, at the halfway point,
to ensure maxxximum evenly-distrubuted delights are activated on all sides.
the there's garden-fresh basil on top.
because this is a mutha-effing MASTERPIECE,
and that final flourish is a crescendo of flavor that ties it all together.

c'mon, kids.
that's what you need.
full stop.
that's all.
this weekend is yet another 'nother full one.
i've got stuff to do,
i've got work pouring out of my eyes,
i've got dog responsibilities and dinner desires
and an exercise regimen that shouldn't be neglected,
especially if i'm going to choose to dominate pizzas like this.
it's ALL really happening, and i wonder why i'm like this?
always doing something,
never taking a minute to breathe,
falling asleep standing up,
and running around back and forth in a loop over and over and over.
that's only going to get me so far.
it keeps me elbows deep in pizza, for sure,
but there may actually be a little baby bit more to life than that.
we'll see how true that is in the next few months.
i'm clearing out the two back rooms of my house, guys.
making space for sharing a better life.
i can't believe it either, but that's what's up.
it's a twenty-step process, and most of them have to happen simultaneously,
so the routine i'm running around inside currently is about to come to a crashing cease,
and a whole new and different bigger better burlier scene is unfolding
right in front of my F*ing face.
i'm braced for whatever comes next,
and i'm moving SO much stuff beforehand;
never quiet, never soft.....

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