c is for cookie

this recipe is more valuable than any other information.
bake up a burly batch of them and you will see for yourself.
it's an early XI-mas present to all the battle-beasts and ragnarok reindeer out there,
make sure to set a plate out for santa,
and i'm talkin' the burly german olde world woodsman one,
not the fat one who loves soda.

without any further introduction:

ROCK BLOCKS!
(a.k.a. the barbarian baked hottness for your festive furnace)

preheat your oven to 375 degrees, Farenheit. ( that's 190 C.)

• combine 2 stixxx (16 tablespoons) of fake butter, or real, if you're a turd,
• a box/bag/16oz. pkg. (2 cups) of brown sugar. i go with dark, you can use light, waterbaby,
• add 3 fake eggs, or their equivalent in dead chicken ovum...
• stir in 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract,
• 1/4 cup of maple syrup,
• now, add 2 cups of flour,
• 1 tsp. baking soda,
• 1 tsp baking powder,
• .75 tsp. salt...
  

here's where it get's interesting, or not;
for traditional, boring blops,

• add 2 more cups of flour
• and a bag of semi-sweet chips.....
  

that will get you the freshest regular cx3 (chocolate chip cookies)you've had in a minute

but,
for the pure pleasure of too much as right amount righteous rock blocks,
and for the initiative to just be dope, an' that,
what you're gonna wanna do is:

• add 1 cup of crushed-up oats,
  
• and 1.5 cups of whole oats,
• and 1 cup, of whole flake natural coconut (the sweetend sh!t is real nasty, so get the hippie stuff) 
• a .5 (1/2) cup of cocoa powder makes 'em blackalicious,
• don't forget the chocolate chips, fool....
• and you may need more maple syrup if they're feelin' a little dry. use your judgement.

after that's all assembled,
drop golf-ball sized nuggets on a baking sheet,
and let 'em saturate the conventional convection of your oven for 13 minutes.
you need 'em, you really do.

this has been my gift to you.
use it wisely, use it often, 
use it up, wear it out, make do or do without;
never quiet, never soft...