Thor is my homeboy

Thor,
the god of thunder and strength and lightning,
is real dope,
but not so smart.
at least, that's what all the old norse myths seem to relate.
and,
he eats his own pet battle-beasts,
a pair of black twin goats, every mutha-uckin' night,
and saves their bones,
to reincarnate them every morning,
so they can pull his chariot...
...and then be dinner again.
that must be pretty suckie. for the goats.
he also gets confused alot, and then smashes sh!t with a hammer.
which makes up for the goats, kinda.
today is Thor's day, and the sun is out.
the plan is to honor my homeboy,
and get all peta-alarmingly goat-smash berserk,
and 'tarded strong....
i will be bringin' the thunder like gene simmons,
without the boots.
but with hammer-fisted hulking barbarian adversarial ragin' representation.
i'm sayin',
after a weak week,
i'm countin' on today to be the deal-sealer.
that's a tall order, ya'll.

yesterday,
it snowed.
ALL flippin' day.
it was snowin' when i woke up,
it was snowin' when i fell asleep.
before you ask,
yeah.
i still hate the plow guy.
i don't exactly know why 'roids are called piles,
but i can tell you i wish hate in the form of a putrid 'pile'-on,
or maybe just your basic assblastin' (hemmo)'roid rage on him....

i read something like 500 pages of dungeony draconium yesterday.
i may have been in a literary dungeon,
but at least i'm the dungeon master, right?
which makes me officially an epic nerd.
between that and the cookie recipe,
i pretty much have to rep the mjolnir/lightning striking viking flavor,
just to break even.
but after i break it,
i'm gonna keep breakin' sh!t,
you better believe i'm not stoppin' until i get doused in cold cold water.
the off-the-scale worthiness high-water mark,
eleven-ness, my ninjas...
berserker barbarian battle-beasts;
never quiet, never soft...