puttin' the X in Xmas.

*NOT a tall muffin. (it's an acorn)


i wonder if a propane-powered cast-iron stovepipe counts as a place to hang stockings?
the X marks the spot!
pirates knew how to get the X-mas theme goin'.
actually,
i'm puttin' the malcolm X in X-mas,
buy any means necessary.
get it?
buy any means?
c'mon.
it'll be awesome,
instead of red and green, we'll decorate with red, black, and green....
does public enemy even have a holiday album?......
okay then, that's no good?
how about the ex in eX-mas?
call up your previous partners like the ghost of the past, an' that,
y'know, just for a laugh. hahahaha.
no?
alright,
let's see,
we can put the XXX in Xmas, too;
on SO many levels:
1.) rum-soaked eggnog/silkNOG, hillbilly jug style,
2.) adult situational documentary man-tertainment;
titles like naughty butt nice, UP my chimney, STUFF my stockings [with sausage], etc.
3.) straight-edge rah-rah-rah'ing- varsity lettered season's greetings cards an' all.
4.) vin diesel and ice cube dressed as elves?
those all seem righteously rotten for sure.
what about static-X-mas? sounds terrible to me,
but hey,
being a berserking son of Odin myself, who am i to judge?
brand-X-mas? only generic versions of holiday list items can be given out.....budget style.
i endorse all varieties and aberrations from the coca-cola-colored santafest standard;
you can put whatever you want in there,
as long as it isn't the christ in christmas....
i mean, let's remember the true meaning of the holiday:
giving.
unlike thanksgiving,
it's usually gift giving.
i'm givin' the gift of Hot Fire.
like a prometheal purveyor of purloined pyres,
i'm warmin' up the woodsly goodness with holiday cheers,
of the bronx variety.
word.
and also, we're supposed to be
eliminating the looming recession of our capitalist commercial economy.
i'm sayin' Obama-claus told ya'll to go spend some loot, didn't he?
i believe in the audacity of naughtiness and nicety!
ka-pow.

alright,
now let's all go buy me some treats!!
do it for america.
never quiet, never soft...