the best bread

has broccoli in it.
that's what's up.
tonight,
we engage in a time-honored tradition.
shark-gluttonous stuffed bread swallowing.
it's always crusty and chewy,
or so i've heard.
chewing is not how barbarians shove comestibles down their craws.
but it's still pretty delicious.
with tomatoey dippin' sauce,
and slabs of succulent, starchy, gooey goodness, too.
and we're having company over to enjoy the hottness.
jim watched over the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress for us,
and when we got home it was still here.
for that, he definitely gets a slice or two.
the girlies know i only make my delectable dopeness
when they're here to enjoy it,
so they chomp it up pretty hard, too.
it's got broccoli,
it's got bread,
it's got a F*-ton of the nooch.
i know, i know-
unlike my ol' man,
i have only one kind of 'cheese' around the house,
and even that one isn't real.
it's also powdery flakes.
and it's also made out of yeast.
it also doesn't smell vaguely like spoiled milk, vomit, or feet.
so i'm still winning.
plus, it is yellow, so that's cool.....
what's not so cool?
it's raining.
it's cold.
it's foggy, too.
looks like a day of playing nintendo,
reading books,
and playmobil playhousing.
except,
not for me so much.
dads always get beat when it comes to big fun.
that's a rule.
even with my marvelous pick'em-up truck,
there's still reality to deal with.
i'll be backing it back up to the wrenchy grind.
tattyblastifying a whole slew and smattering of vacation douchetards
and suckie fat families of out-of-towners.
all while the fam' is hanging out and about the homestead.
missing out instead of making moves-
that's the hardest part, ya'll;
leaving the house,
after being away for days.
we've got everything we need right here.
eats, XI-mas treats, movies, hot fire,
and the impending epic feasty goodness.
***********
oh, yeah,
and i'm sure glad i'm not going anywhere by plane anytime soon.
(i'm still a little salty about that scarf)
thanks to our young nigerian friend,
and his half-hearted attempt at blowin' sh!t up,
i'm sure all the tattooed A-holes headed to asia
will be exposed to extra body-cavity inspecting scrutiny.
hard styles are a must when sweet rewards are on the menu.
personally,
i suspect the failure to destroy something was entirely because
northworst airlines already sucks the hardest and fullest ones.
an explosion would only improve their services,
and the secret universal plan cannot allow for that type of b!tchbaggery.
***********
a long day's journey into night.
it's gonna be dark by the time i get home.
that just makes the glow from inside the house that much warmer.
my kids have disappeared into wii land.
they venture out occasionally to play on their dsi portable bobot systems.
that's not going to last much longer-
they've got a veritable library of new books that need reading-
most of them have dungeons or dragons in 'em-
and i can't abide by letting them get dumber on my watch.
incidentally,
i've polished off most of the books i got jess already.
too much is the right amount.
especially when it comes to words,
and even moreso when it comes to broccoli bread.
fat bellied battle-beasts,
butt-blasting barbarian bellows;
never quiet, never soft.....