family.

the lion in winter.

feast your eyes on the progenitor of pure power.

the original berserker keeper of really realness.

the invoker of the thunder and the noise.

the face of the future of your favorite true storyteller

(and probably the hairline, too)

just who is this legend of the fall?

what type of grizzled grizzly gets busy like this?

how does someone manage to look tired and wild at the same time?

here is a man who has inspired more fear and loathing

than the entirety of las vegas;

more wise words, wise cracks, and wise potato chips

than any other living guru of supreme intelligence;

the one and only sire of the hot fire;

the curious, spurious, oft furious,

the dude.

my dad.

that's the countenance of a man who has 15 different kinds of cheese in the fridge.

that's no joke- i counted, duders.

he had every type of deceased animal that ever

walked, crawled, flew, or swam stocked to the railings in there, too.

and, incongruously,

an apple and a head of iceberg lettuce.

as he says, 'that's the produce section'

y'know,

for variety.

we hung out for a little minute with my main man.

a couple, two, three times, even.

hard of hearing and hard of style.

i talk to him often,

but i never see him.

a special treat, ya'll.

it was truly terrific to see my peoples.

***********

all kidding aside,

i've got to give some sweet shout-outs to all the families.

because that's what the holidays are supposed to be about.

or so i've heard.

then again,

i got a truck,

so i'm not sweating all those relatives too much, y'know?

but for really real-

we had some peoples taking some kind of good care of us,

for all the days we were in the swamp of sh!t-salad stagnation.

(you know it as connecticut)

i restored my tomato sauce levels

to an acceptable high-watermark of italian ancestry.

three days, three different red infusions of olivey, oily, oh-my-goodness-ness.

pizza time with my uncle eddie was excellent.

dinner with the guercias was great.

the bowel-blasting barrage of beans with jess's ma's side of the family

left me staggeringly full,

and everyone else gasping for fresh air.

i even had a low key marinara mangia with my ma and the dude.

we saw 'em all.

we broke bread.

we broke balls.

we had a time.

for the first time in a few years my whole immediate family was in one place.

no one was injured the entire time.

that's a dangerous rogue's gallery of hard-stylists, my ninjas.

for real.

if you've had the honor of hanging out with the whole crew,

and i mean all of 'em, each and every warrior battle-beastly bard,

you're impressed by the low casualty rate.

i know i am.

so, yeah,

i have some peoples who have some peoples.

and they got to glean a glimpse of the goodness.

fleeting flavor infusions.

too much hottness for such a cold, dark state.

so hot, in fact,

it's raining instead of snowing.

further diluting the already weak sauce.

it's alright, though-

the barbarian bouillion left behind will make a hearty berserker broth.

-thanks for sucking just a little less, ct.

you're welcome;

never quiet, never soft.....