stinko cinco

man.
it was so ridiculously warm just two days ago.
64 degrees, even.
now it's not.
not even close, even.
secret springtime is flippin' over.
now there's no more m in warm.
it's just all-out war.
i'm sayin'.
flippity-flops wold've been appropriate yesterday morning,
now we'll need to break out the snowpants.
F*ers are F*n' with my wardrobe choices.
weather like this makes me glad i've got an enviable sweater selection.
that's true, too.
it is very enviable.
of course, it's also a little bit lame.
i mean,
how many argyles and shawl collars and such does one actually need?
a lot, it turns out.
i need 'em for chilly penguin times like these.
y'know what i'm missing, though?
-a conspicuous absence-type hole in my collection-
the old time long-discontinued mid-nineties cotton rollneck.
j.crew like a mutha'ucker.
remember when maroon and hunter green jauns were the business?
i do.
that was the hamden, ct. mark of distinction.
that and a front-flip-banged shaved-sides 90210 haircut.
so maybe i don't need one of those, or either of those, actually.
but it's still snowing.
and that is froze-up and squoze-out waterbaby precipitation, for sure.
i'm eatin' candy beans.
i'm reading the dungeon master's guide (volume 1 AND volume 2),
i'm stoking the fire,
and i'm cuddling up.
cinco december, ya'll.
not exactly one for the record books,
but it's still all really happening, and that's the true story, anyways.
i tattooed on some brits from hampshire, england.
that's old hampshire to us up here in the new hottness, yeah?
i softened my A's, didn't i, and was clearly understood.
those hard ones, ya'll,
those hard style american long A sounds.
they just aren't english.
even though we're speakin' it.
barely.
homshuh. that's how they say it.
haaaaaaaamp-shure. that's us.
not quite the same, huh?
it was good to hear some proper english being spoken an' that.
and it was kinda good to tattoo all day.
it beats shoveling anyway.
i've got twenty-sided dice ready to roll,
and some hot logs waiting to get as stoked as i am;
never quiet, never soft.....