liberte!!

whaaaaaaaaaat?

there's a word for this:

dooooooooooooooope.

that's some fuego mas caliente, for sure.

early XI-mas presents that go all the way to eleven?

i got them jauns!

how?

the cucch ya'll.

he represents the best parts of really realness.

once again proving why he is my favoritest and the most bestest.

thanks, man.

so,

what are you jive miki-fikis doin' for the solstice manana?

i'll be suckin' off a stinky brown cuban,

like a major-league-bound pitcher

tryin' to get a seat on that raft to florida.

bam!

i doo-doo that freaky-diki sh!t.

that's the only good news, ninjas.

what do you mean, what do i mean?

i mean,

the trap door hole in my floor is really just a hole trap in my floor.

it doesn't lead anywhere.

in patented old busted hottness fashion,

i hewed a hefty hole in my jauns,

and was thwarted by the labyrinthine maze of pipes and powerlines.

F*ed right up the A*, even.

i'm thinking of covering it with leaves,

and sharpening some stakes inside it.

that'd be a hoot.

since i've been ho chi minh trailing my crawlyspaces,

i figure some black pajamas and a tiger pit or two

would really amp up my fortress' defenses.

yeah.

did i mention how i almost passed out?

oh man,

i totally lapsed into minor unconciousness.

rip saw fury + ancient hardwood + closed doors and windows =

smoke inhalation poison doom.

i saw stars and hazy corners and all that stuff.

there's a word for that, too:

manly! (or is it man-tarded?)

y'know what would've been amazing?

if i fell face first into the 'ucking hole!

i can just imagine waking up,

upside down,

in a cavern of icy sh!tty sawdust, dirt, and rust.

...because i'd probably take it pretty well.

if taking it pretty well involves sh!tting my pants sideways, i mean.

and,

the increased water pressure we used to loosen the frozen pipes?

uh-huh.

consequences, ninjas.

it blew the seals off of the washing machine!!!!!

ever seen a man-made lake?

ever seen one indoors?

yeah.

do you kids know what's even more rad than a dry, festy dwarf cave?

a muddy, wet festy dwarf cave!

since it seems way less cold when you're soaked in mud....right?

my legs are numb, duders.

and not just from the frostbiting effects of sub-freezing waterplay.

i think that the secret universal plan may have gone a little too deep.

y'know,

in my butthole;

i'm talking about when i was getting proper F*ed by these unfolding events.

i may have snapped off my sciatic nerve, even.

it's cool,

useless legs go great with my emerging vietnam conflict theme

that i'm redecorating with, anyway.

no, it's cool.

really.

i'm becoming one with the spirit of this woodsly realm,

attuned to the inner workings of my epic Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.

what i do know already is:

every moment i make things better,

the next is even fresher than that.

this is my time.

down here.

chester copperpot-type business.

in the crawlspace.

in the cold...

i wouldn't change that much either, ya'll.

in order to have the hottness,

you have to be the hottness.

i strive to be worthy of this time i have been given.

that's that warrior poetry sh!t;

never quiet, never soft.....