erf.

hey man,
today is the day.
mmmhmmm:
earth day.
i'll be honest with you guys-
i don't get excited about earth day.
like, not at all-
i don't think i've ever 'celebrated' it,
in fact,
from where i'm standing,
i think that every day is earth day when you're vegan, anyway.
so much so that i'm sure i could litter throughout the woodsly goodness all day long,
and not make so much as a small reversal in the overall positive impact
my reduced carbon footprint carries every single day,
which is solely because i only eat vegetables.
BOOM!
ha.
...and that's just based on math and logic, even.
oh, c'mon.
i'm just sayin'.
anyway,
it's earth day,
but i'm over here thinking about pie.
what?
yeah.
blogs are almost always a day behind the times here-
life is lived extra hard,
and the styles are hard,
and the nights are loooooong,
and the times are tough,
and the dog is naughty,
and the motherF*ing moon is FULL.
and then, after all of that really realness is endured;
then whatever stands out gets recorded and reported upon.
yikes.
so, anyway,
yesterday i baked a pretty tasty pie.
wanna see it?
ok:

totally sweet, right?
yeah,
well, it's an elite, non-traditional,
and admittedly crackery flavor combination-
so the proles at work won't eat it,
or even try it.
awwwwwww, man!
i make the nice, and i put the raw sugar sprankles on it,
but still,
they can't,
and they won't,
and they don't hang out with true vegan hottness.
so what's in there that has so alienated the devoutly unsophisticated palates
of the white mountain tattbomb shack?
pears.
yup.
pear and walnuts.
i'm for real right now.
ginger and butter and a pinch of sugar for caramelizing,
all heated in a pan, and the walnuts tossed and toasted in there, too.
the fat and the spice mixed up, and coated those rich-A* nuts like warlock water,
and activated the eldritch expertism of full-bodied flavor.
and the pears?
a pinchy-pinch of nutmeg, and more ginger,
over big chunks of buttery bosc jauns, kissed with brown sugar,
and a splash of lemon juice to prevent browning.
damn.
neighbors, i'm over here adding just the babiest bit of pulverized apple,
powdered into pure pectin, and thickening all of those tasty bits up like a champ,
and once all the hottness was activated,
and the vents and all the decorative accents were all cut out,
moistened, and affixed around the rim,
nobody had any.
nope.
just me.
(i had a lot, because that's just because i am NOT a chump-baby)
so, there you have it.
you're only as proportionately fancy as your audience gives a sh!t.
which is why i'm telling all of y'all about it....
you like it.
and i like you.
ugh.
plain ol' apple pie seems to be all that those duders i work near will devour;
and anything else is too far out and weird.
hahahahaha.
gross.
it's a sad day when berries or whatever are too wacky for munching up on,
am i right?
i knowwwwwwwww.
at least it wasn't actual earth day that saw the succulent hunks of pear get snubbed.
........ha. i dunno why that'd matter.
*
maybe if you make it, you'll enjoy it,
and i'll vicariously enjoy you enjoying it, if you tell me you did.
you'll need a cup and a half of walnuts,
fresh ginger, grated,
powdered ginger,
two tablespoons of butterish,
three tablespoons of sugar, and a hot pan.
first, melt the butter, and add in the walnuts, stirring frequently,
add in the ginger, as much as your individual taste demands,
and once the whole room smells like the summoned spirit of garuda,
add in the sugar and let it dissolve.
remove that mess from the heat, and start in on the pears.
you gotta get at least six pears,
it couldn't possibly matter what kind,
and peel 'em and seed 'em and cut 'em up into rough chunks.
i hit 'em with lemon juice, and a pinch of salt, and about a third of a cup of brown sugar,
and a few shakes of powdered sugar, too.
cook 'em until they're soft, but not quite see-through,
and add in the thickener of your choice,
because the whole pot will be pretty juicy,
and unless you actually like soggy bottom pies,
you're gonna wanna hook it up beforehand.
i used those powdered apples i mentioned earlier, and a little arrowroot too.
the juice levels were unprecedented, and required exxxtra efforts to subdue.
- you guys got a pie crust recipe?
no?
bummer,
hahahahahaa.
you'd better get one, then, or this isn't going to be a very impressive scene is it?
womp womp.
but, like, for real, though...
once that's sorted,
letting it get baked up at 410F for 45 minutes should do it,
but,
if you're at all like me,
and you like the crispity edges a bit browner than beige,
i'd let it hang out for nearly an hour.
and here's the thing-
you can check on it from time to time,
with your eyes, and your own intuition,
and decide for yourself the level of doneness.
smart.
-
happy earth day, i guess;
never quiet, never soft.....