Friday, April 29

oh, fudge.

white chocolate is not chocolate.
it is also not usually vegan.
however,
there are sources, and styles,
that make for serendipitous circumstances,
and when i find that puddingy in-the-mix package,
i put it in the pot.
mmmmmmmm.
i've got the thickest, fudgiest white chocolate and brown sugar cake
that nobody knew was a thing, including me.
but i GOT it,
and it's good.
the not-chocolate is white, but the not-white is brown and sweet.
yum yum YUM.
a single layer of this heavy, moist masterwork is a lot,
but you KNOW i couldn't leave it alone.
i mean,
what a i?
an A*-hole?
no way, neighbors.
just take a quick look at what i'm lacing into:

BOOM.
what makes white chox better?
coffee of course!
coffee frosting is pretty special, when you do it right.
and doing it right is an imprecise science, to be sure.
coffee extract is weird, but it is also the essence of pure being,
and instant coffee is gross for drinking,
but it IS molto expert for dissolving in sugar and butter
and beating into a fluffy froth of 'sting.
true story.
you like it.
so,
with a couple cups of flour,
and a stick of butter,
and six ounces of soy yogurt,
a cup and a quarter of light brown sugar,
white chocolate essence tapioca secret sauce,
teaspoons of baking powder, soda, and vanilla,
plus a pinch of salt,
and a cup of vanilla soymilk,
in a supermixed mass of aerated excellence,
poured into a greased and floured pan,
and baked in a 350degreeF oven for 50 minutes-ish,
i had a cake that's crushing previous cakey expectations,
and turning the new standard up to eleven.
who knew?
and that's before the frosting fires up the exxxtra hottness!
dark chocolate drizzlers, strippin' and stripin' the surface are nice,
but the added little dazzler of cocoa in with the remaining coffee jauns,
for a serious mocha explosion really truly blow the doors
right off of and well-away from the average cake scene.
too much is the right amount,
and that applies to cake as much as everything else.
i got the goods, and you're welcome to help yourself to a fat slice,
but as always, you'll have to travel up into the remote woodsly goodness to get it.
awwwww.
*
hey!
what do you know about dinner in a bowl?
i love a big bowlful of supper.
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
and i do it like i'm wolfen levels of hungry.
that's a lot.
last night,
we had pasta fagioli.
why?
because we had a whole mess of stuff that needed cookin',
to make room for the big shoppin' spree stockpile that will constitute
the bedrock foundation of ingredients for sandwich week.
yup.
big onions, two large sliced and two small crushed garlic cloves,
pinkish beans,
diced tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, babyish spinach, fresh basil,
nootch, GPOP, oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, black peps,
rosemary, parsley, bay leaf, bouillon, white wine vinegar, and butterish,
seared, sauteed, and simmered into a sauce that stayed hella thick,
and subtly spicy, with all the big taste you could ever ask for.
over a combo of ditalini tiny tubies, and mini penne,
with a slap of fresh parsley spranx?
check it out:

experte.
it doesn't have to be superfancy all the time,
there just has to be a lot of it.
i personally destroyed three full bowls,
and despite knowing full well that i'd eaten the last of it,
still got a little sad when i jumped up to see if somehow it'd made more of itself,
and not surprisingly,
it had not.
awwwwww.
-
i feel the pressure, friends.
i do.
i'm not trying to bring the b!tch-sap to sandwich week, y'know?
i mean,
i've already told you, it's not sandwich weak....
also,
i don't just want to remake every sandwich i've already had, either.
reimagining isn't so bad, really,
but the worst part about shark week is that it's the same ol' sh!t every year.
i'm fixing to bring the noise, and the hottness,
and the all-the-way-live active participation to bear on my dinner situation.
breakfast sandwiches don't wow me all that much,
but there will still be bagels and muffins and toast an' that,
and lunch
well,
i'm too busy to do lunch all that often,
but if i DO, you can bet it'll be a fresh sandwich.
rules is rules, duders.
so, here's the thing-
regular 'guinis aren't going to cut it.
i want that new new,
i want that saucy sauced up stuff.
i want good bread,
and homemade buns,
and flavor that goes on for miles and kilometers.
ive got maybe three of four bangers i know will rock the party,
but that's just about half as many as i need,
and only a third as many as i'd like.
what to do?
what to do?
i guess we'll find out what happens as the week unfolds;
never quiet, never soft.....

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