and i think it looks cool.
teleport:
yup.
a big leg wyrm, in green and gold,
hamden warrior style.
but that's not really where i'm dwelling today, though-
i just figure that the following picture isn't an attention-grabber...
awwwwwww.
-
today,
i'm thinking about handsome foodstuffs.
i am.
now,
i'm not saying i have the prettiest seitan,
i'm just hinting that comparatively,
mine does seem to be unusually attractive.
i mean,
when you see 'store' seitan,
it looks like shrapnel from a bog-log.
but,
i'm over here customizing those jauns,
and trying for something a little less detritusy,
and a whole lot more enticing.
it's still beige boiled bread, neighbors-
i'm not delusional.
however,
when it's simmering along in the pot?
it doesn't look like 'if sh!t threw up'.
which i can honestly say isn't something i want to eat.
anyway,
check the teleport:
see?
these don't even look like flayed or flensed baby legs, either.
i was a bit disappointed by that,
but i rallied,
and i got to reap the rewards of my bubbling cauldron,
like some sort of shark-gluttonous sorcerer of germinated grain proteins.
ha.
once a week, i'm brewing up a batch.
amber asked me too,
and i'm a good listener.
it goes great with most of the stuff we eat,
and we eat most of the stuff that's expert.
stands to reason that we'll need MORE of the hottness,
so we can have enough energy to make MORE hottness.
ha.
but seriously,
look at the uniformity of those slabs!
perfect for frying up for sandwiches,
or shredding for stir-fry,
or slicing for tacos,
or chopping into mincey cubes for stuffin' up in something.
duders,
y'can't make small stuff bigger, y'know?
so i choose to start large and in charge, and whittle away as necessary.
that's smart.
i have been making smaller batches,
for the freshie-freshest of weekly intake.
yup.
what've i been activating lately?
it's like this:
*a cup and change of wheat gluten,
*a healthy quarter-cuppish shake of garbanzo flour;
*so much g.p.o.p.;
*a tiny scoople of nootch;
*a few tablespoons of tapioca- to cut out the dense squeaks;
*then, we wet it up, and knead it out!
*three quarters of a cup of hot broth, with a tablespoon or so of soy sauce,
and a few drips of liquid smoke-
knotted up and allowed to rest for a while so the whole thing can tighten up,
while i bring a big BIG ol' pot of brothy hottness to a low low boil.
you can see my sexy slices sitting on top of the sauce up there-
i doo-doo that carving cutlet-style freaky sh!t,
and i let 'em cook for a good long while,
and even keep 'em in the juice as it cools a bit.
i do.
sorry, safe-serve diaper babies, i'm not afraid of what's in my kitchen.
uh-oh.
-
at any rate,
seitan is expert.
all my really rreal food-heads are already hip to it,
and we know how to drive these tasty vegan b!tches wild in the streets,
with our wild vegan meats an' that.
...yikes.
i know everybody has their own version, and for what it's worth,
i LOVE that.
we aren't the kinds of unimaginative weak-sauciers who can't freak off a good guideline
and totally jam out on a new and probably more personally appropriate recipe.
am i right?
of course i am.
i hope you're putting new and different spices up in there,
and i want to know about the different grains and sh!t, too.
i'm not scared to adopt a good idea when it comes along, kids
get busy making some new new hottness,
and get back to me when you've reached maxximum dopeness;
never quiet, never soft.....
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