goodbye, april.

up early?
of course!
hungry?
you bet.
the solution?
breakfast scone squares.
yup!!
check the teleport:

neighbors,
they've got the thick hot action going crazy deep within 'em.
sooooooo many itty bitty chocolate chips,
they have that uber-melt-o-matic factor in spades.
and a ton of almond slices,
dispersed throughout the exxxtra-buttery,
creamchee'-activated,
plain, unsweetened tangy soy yogurt-enriched flakes-
and i mean, LOOK at 'em.
the layers on layers of stacked foldover freshness is F*ing great.
plus,
they're heavy on the spelt,
which really gave the crumb some much-appreciated girth.
a little almond extract in with the vanilla almond milk,
and vanilla extract in with the lemon juice,
and lemon extract in with the yogurt,
all that essence, all that infused and concentrated vitality,
whipped up into a sloppy sludge and absorbed by the thirsty grains,
and before you're finished turning and folding and turning and so on and on,
the wetness is packed to the tippity top with every possible angle
of full-bodied complexity and complete hottness turned up to eleven.
mmmmhmmmmmmm.
and just because too much is the right amount,
the added cocoa dust spritz on top really put the heckful boomfire
straight up onto the whole damned thing.
no.
i mean,
i spread it by hand on the wet dough,
and it stuck fast, like it was meant to be there the whole time-
it kept the moisture from escaping too quickly,
which in turn kept the flakes looking all kinds of super sexxxy.
...i love that.
what?
did i put them in the freezer while the oven preheated?
yeah, i did.
i mean, that's the right way, and i'm not about to get wrongful in the home stretch.
how long does it take my oven to get to 400degrees?
i don't know!
but,
while i didn't keep track of the time,
i can say for sure that the cold-relaxation effect affected some true
traditional and truly triumphant scone texture in the best way.
so expert.
-
pull-apart right angles of angelical devilish chocolaty biscuit sorcery
are a good way to say adios to april.
just in time, because the BIG action is coming our way, now,
and hopefully we can make room in our bellies for so much more bread.
wow.
...........
guys,
crabtree is being a total butt.
i guess he's april foolin' on me one last time
y'ever eat deer poops?
no?
me neither.
weird.
he must know something we don't,
because not only can he find them with unerring accuracy,
in the mouldiest leafy litter in the woodsliest goodness of the hikiest climbs,
but he also happens to find them a delicacy, too.
ugh.
also,
listening gets harder for him, the nicer the weather gets,
and the more the neighbors all get outside to lure his limited attention span
towards pulling, jmumping, and generally being a total butt.
...like i said.
tomorrow, however, even his sh!ttiest suckery won't undo the dopeness.
there's too much awesome, and it's too important to me.
i'm not setting my expectations too high,
rather,
i'm stating my demands,
and mutherF*ers,
they will be met.
goodbye, april,
hello sandwiches;
never quiet, never soft.....