Monday, April 18

FIRM.

neighbors,
i ate more than half a pie yesterday.
yep.
without one pang of conscience, i kept at it all morning, and most of the afternoon.
then,
because i think ahead,
i also saved myself a slice at home,
which i munched up as soon as i got in.
what?
guys,
it came with me to work, and i shared it,
but, like, barely.
i mean,
whenever i saw it, i shaved off a slice,
and every time i shaved off a slice, i ate it in two bites.
jeez.
i refused to slow down,
and really,
i'd certainly have kept eating it if i'd brought it back home with me.
the good news is that as soon as i get to work today,
for my jam-packed day,
i get to gnosh up on a jammie-jam-packed pie, straight to the dome.
mmhmmmm.
check the teleport:

c'mon, kids,
that's nicey-nice.
sliced strawberries, big and small blueberries, lemon juice, powdered sugar,
vanilla, lemon extract, and a couple of not-so secret ingredients.
first tho,
notice anything unusual?

no?
where's the soupy wet sh!t-splat mess that always accompanies berry pie??
ha!
i fixed it,
and i improved it,
and it's flippin' expert.
powdered freeze-dried raspberries,
tossed in to soak up the sauce from the freezy wetness of the other other jauns,
plus that's practically pure pectin for thickenin' it up.
boom.
i cheated a bit,
and added some starch, as well,
but,
the proof is right there, isn't it?
firmness, with all the flavor held in tight, without the shirt-ruining droop
of a birdpoopish plop of post-bake berry blarps.
wooohoooooo.
how's that dough lookin' to y'all?
good?
i hope so.
i've been F*ing with my pastry crust recipe for a little miute,
and i'll admit to disregarding precise record keeping in favor of my preferred
on-the-fly eyeballin'-out-
but,
if you're looking for approximates,
i can help a little:
one stick (1/2 cup) earth balance butterish,
and three tablespoons of the non-stick (ha) tub butts, non-soy, in this instance,
plus, three tablespoons of vegan creamchee',
and two cups of flour,
pulsed together in a food processor.
with a few drizzles of ice cold water,
until the whole thing starts sticking together.
it's good.
and y'gotta let it rest, because the food processor is a big metal meanie,
and the dough needs to relax after those bullying blades put it down.
for serious, tho- it's gotta rest, duders.
at least an hour; overnight if you can work it out.
that's what you do,
and that's what i did.
in addition,
raw sugar sprankles are a must.
fancy cutouts are, too.
rules is rules, after all....
and besides
anybody can make an ugly pie.
actually,
to be fair,
anybody can make a sexy one, just as well,
i mean, ew, man,get after it....
it's simply a matter of intention, attention, and active participation.
i don't wanna hang out with ugly food.
i don't feel like i should have to, either.
maybe i made this tasty piece too pretty, tho,
because i couldn't help myself from terrorizing it.
*
i'm super-crazy busy at work the next few days,
which is a good thing,
and on all repeat clients, which is even better.
there's plenty of work to be done at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
but it turns out that the studio's demands interfere with things like yard work.
it's true.
getting in there early, to get ready in advance, is essential on these packed days.
otherwise, i'm running late all day,
and that is the WORST feeling.
nobody wants to be rushed in that situation,
and nothing good comes of those feelings.
so,
instead of raking, i'm dog walking,
and instead of stone stacking, i'm drawing,
and if i'm really lucky, i'll have an extra minute to run into the grocer before work,
because i know i'll be in a proper haste to get home and attend to crabtree.
haha.
i got a dog to feel better, and all i achieved was making time scarcer.
it's all really happening, in stolen moments, and scattered seconds;
never quiet, never soft.....

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