four to one.

i like those odds, neighbors.
yup.
on a seemingly endless,
measurably friendless friday night,
when crabtree and i are all alone in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
there's still no excuse not to party it up.
...no joke.
after a long, broke, broken, badly-played poorly-scheduled day of tattzappin',
one where the promise of pizza was broken as soon as we opened,
i KNEW that i should be i charge of forging my own destiny,
and for creating an expert pizza scenario.
ok.
allow me to explain-
the suggestion of pizza for lunch was on the table as we left thursday night,
but,
i know my coworkers well enough to believe that any idea i agree to
will not by the way the story unfolds.....
and, as usual, i was correct.
however,
before i even took the dog for his looooooong uphill hike yesterday,
i had already fired up a big batch of sexy, semolina-suplemented,
high-gluten  double-yeasted olive oily goodness,
in anticipation of counteracting disappointment.
rules is rules,
and one of 'em is to always back up your back ups,
which includes plans, my man.
real talk.
so,
i got home and turned the oven up to 500F.
yep.
half-a-thousand luscious degrees.
and my refirgerator proofed dough was lookin' super succulent,
and the ground golden flaxmeal i'd added really kept it together,
in ways i wouldn't have normally imagined i deserved.
ha.
actually,
the dough was SO dope, and so strong, and so choice,
i had enough for four pizzas.
damn.
that's a lot of pizza, and that's how you know it's gonna be good.
mmmhmmmm.
check the solo-dough-low-pizza-party-type teleport:

WU-TAAAAANG!!!!!
i know what you like, kids.
two reds, two whites,
too much is the right amount.
that's the way i doo-doo my freaky friday pie times.
the dough recipe keeps getting better the longer i let it do it's own thing...
seriously,
this batch held up to heavy secret cashew ricotta-style underchee' better
than any previous pizzas have before now.
also,
the hand stretch is getting pretty well-activated these days, as well.
also also,
i've been letting the individual crusts rise a third time, post stretch,
while i mise en place my toppings.
i have, and i'm glad of it, too-
if i'm gonna terrorize forty something inches of pizza,
i want that sh!t to be The Truth.
and i did, and it was, and i'd like to share a bit more about it-
teleport:

escarole and white bean pizza????
YUP!!
i reserved some of the cashew chee', as usual, to make fresh mozzarella-style magic-
however, i also added way more GPOP, and salt, and white beans,
to make a level eleven white bean chee'/sauce combo layer to build my pizza upon.
expert?
oh, yessiree, duders,
it most certainly was.
with thinly sliced fresh tomato, and oil-braised shredded escarole,
and whole white bean sprankles-
with the scallion and freshie-fresh blops of tapioca-tempered chee',
and parsley to garnish that mean mama-jama!
a jump-off like that means there can be no slack afforded afterwards.
listen up-
i prep my pizza scene like a champ,
and i even left work midday to gather a few key elements to elevate my eats
to a whole other 'nother 'nother realm of shark-gluttonous goodness.
uh-huh.
that's real.
the next pizza was also a sauceless bossy batch of big action,
this time, a little tiny bity au gratinesque:

paper-thin potato, broccoli, red onion, and cheddar daiya chee'!
ba-da-BOOMfire for my tastebuds, b!tches.
underlayer cashew hottness, and a healthy spread of yellow shreds,
followed by those impossibly gossamer potatoes,
GPOP'd and locked with olive oil and a little water, to fully cook 'em before baking.
smart.
pan-fried florets of the freshest broccs, and more daiya cheddar,
with red onions for color, crawnch, and that flavorful zing i crave.
i love onions a lot.
i also love when everything works together to become an undefeated
winning team of taste and texture...
all of a sudden,
it's treats that go great with cheddary chee',
but AS A PIZZA!
damn.
i was already feeling full.
i mean,
the pies all arrive in ten minute increments.
the first one is the easiest, of course, because there's no queue yet.
after that,
the stagger staggers me a bit, and i'm baking, turning, eating, making,
photographing, cutting, moving, shaking, and taking what's mine
like a pure-being pizza slice of infinite nature.
that's real.
....and then i got the crushed tomatoes involved.
teleport:

kale, grilled leeks, supersweet miniature red pepper rings, and fresh basil!
c'mon.
baby kale underneath the sauce, but above the underchee', of course-
blackened leek links, for the heartiest, fullest flavor.
those pepper rings are too dang good to be believed at first bite,
so a second, and third bite is recommended, just for security purposes.
and then,
just when the pot seems like it's full,
i overflowed the loud fresh hardness, and threw the tippiest topmost basil bits
all over the finished product.
yeah, because that taste makes me happiest.
my pizza game is not a joke,
and i don't need anybody around to do what i do.
in fact,
when i'm alone, i can really get deeper into it....even if i didn't do a deep dish this time.
awwwwwwwwwwwww.
i did bring the hottness one more time, though,
and i gotta tell you, the subtle variations make the biggest differences.
check the no-baconish-bits-but-still-elite-type teleport:

brussels, caramelized sweet onions, and molto molto fried garlic!!!!
too F*ing expert.
the underchee' and sauce just go together. i'm willing to bet a nootch-blasted
tomato and cashew underside would also be a banger,
but simple is the most elusive ingredient in this test kitchen.
anyway,
a drop of liquid smoke in the water i dashed those baby cabbages with took 'em higher.
the onions were sugary, and had the faintest little char notes from an overly hot pan...
...delicioso.
those parsley sprankles were there mainly because i didn't wanna waste 'em,
but,
the real superstar of the show was the shallow-pan-fried minced garlic.
oh yeah.
big ol' hewn hunks off the whole clove(s),
of which i chopped four up,
and olive-oil fried to a crispity crawnch before i packed the whole top of that pizza up
with enough vampire-proof juice to walk through transylvania unmolested.
word.
*
i F*s with forty something inches of dinner.
that's right.
and i do my dirt all by my lonely, homie.
i think crabby knew it was dangerously decadent up in this biz,
because he behaved like a good little boy all night.
lucky him, and lucky me,
because for about an hour and a half,
i had no time nor any attention to spare.
he amused himself with a gross bone,
i amassed an army of toppings and doughs.
friday night trumped friday afternoon by an immense margin.
who knows,
maybe that pizza lunch might actually happen today at work?
that'd go a long way to improving the expected excremental expulsion i'm facing at work.
haha.
hard styles, and tough days,
early mornings, and late nights,
pizza, and puppies, and pugnacious predispositions-
it's all really happening,
and i guess that's the way the game has got to be played.
thank goodness for the pizza, at least;
never quiet, never soft.....