Sunday, November 4


i don't hate the classics.
how could i?
especially when i have to freak it off with the wildstyle vegan gluten-free variations...
i mean,
rules is rules, dudes.
and the rules clearly state that making expert vegan treats is superior to being generic
and using animal parts to create flavors that have nothin' to do with them....
for realsies.
for example, take: banana walnut.
it doesn't say banana walnut chicken cow!
no cow's milk, nor yogurt, and no chicken's eggs, or anybody elses' for that matter.
instead, it's cruelty-free turbo kindness, with nuts and nanners for your face!
check the teleport:

banana bread is classic.
with nuts? some folks can't hang, but i'm into it.
the texture is improved for the bumps in the road, so to speak.
you want a recipe for these?
you do?!
here you go, neighbors:
preheat your oven to 375℉
in a medium mixing bowl, mash 3 large, very ripe bananas.
1 cup brown sugar;
2 tsp cinnamon;
1/2 tsp nutmeg;
1/2 tsp allspice;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/4 cup (4 T ) a.k.a. 1/2 stick vegan butter, softened.
mix well,
and add:
1 cup non-dairy unsweetened vanilla yogurt;
1 tsp xantham gum;
2 T tapioca starch;
1 cup green banana flour!!!! (that's neat)
1 cup bob's all-purpose gluten-free flour blend.
1/2 cup chopped walnuts;
1/2 cup oat flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda.
combine completely, and spoon even amounts into two greased multi-miniloaf pans.
i have those. and they're pretty cool.
the kids liked getting their own breads.
i liked using that weird flour that weird dylan gave me.
it worked like a charm.
bake those for 30 minutes, but not before you take that bowl, unwashed, and add:
3 T vegan butter;
1/4 cup oats;
3 T dessicated unsweetened coconut;
a dash of vanilla;
1/4 cup oat flour;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
and dash of cinnamon, vut with a fork until streus'd the F* up.
that's that goodsly good-good, and it's mandatory on hefty baked greatness, guys.
no question.
what do you get?
you get to have the best ones on your breakfast plate,
with some left over for lunch,
and maybe one or two for dessert after supper.
i don't know your life, man.
i just know that you need these little hotties forever and ever.
it's F*ing NOVEMBER, kids.
that's wild.
time has slipped past me like a rogue making a stealth check on a natural 20 roll.
that's no joke.
it's windy.
like, hella windy.
like gusts of busted bummery cold air, everywhere.
and that's my least favorite thing anywhere, always.
the air is against me.
the light is brighter earlier, but gone sooner.
it's all unfolding, and what's contained therein is not easy.
not in the least.
and while i'm making the most of the minutes i've been given,
i can't help but resent the forceful breath of ma nature's blowhard bluster
blasting my body while i'm outside with crabtree.
he hates it, because he's the diaperbabiest dog i've ever heard of.
i hate it, because i  hate handling the diaperbabiest dog i've ever heard of.
and also, i'm very thin, and the wind is very sharp,
and it makes me very cold,
and that's just not cool, bro.
there's no gettin' away from it.
nature wins, and we just huff the hard styles,
and walk against the whirling wind that whips these woodsly goodsly hills;
never quiet, never soft.....

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