Thursday, November 8


all i ever want to eat is pizza.
pee eye zee zee ayy.
it's my favorite thing, and i like all the different forms it takes.
thick or thin, soft or crisp, doughy or flat or whatever-
pizza is THE BOSS, like bruce springsteen and tony danza,
and pizza is what i'm always thinking about.
when it's time to make a pizza; like, from scratch, with homemade dough an' sh!t-
you'd better be damned sure i'm gonna get expert as heck with the process.
i don't want bummery beige boring apizza, bro.
i want that supersexxxy new hottness from the hearth and the heart, holmes.
word up.
check the teleport:

those roasty tomatoes?!?!
while the oven was preheating to 480℉,
i had those rainbows halved, olive oiled, salted and peppered,
and baking up all the richest concentrated tomato taste for my face.
when they were all blistered and puckered and a little wrinkled, they were ready.
i let 'em cool just a touch, before i put 'em on the pie,
and baked them again along with everything else.
i had shredded kale on the bottom, spread generously over crushed tomatoes.
neighbors- it's simple crushed tomatoes, with a little basil, and salt.
classic new haven style sauce is where it's at, and it's where i am headed usually.
for realsies, let the ingredients rock your socks,
and let the sauce hold it down without stealing the show, bro.
ANYway, the kale cooks down to barely-there leafies, but we know it's there,
and we're getting all that iron and fiber and flavor and everything, even though it's shrunken,
it is not diminished......awwwww, that's lovely.
caramelized sweet onion?
that's a mandatory requirement for the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress test kitchen laboratory.
rules is rules, as i love to remind you.
as are the fried garlic sprankles.
i mean, c'mon, what do you think this is?
bush-league laughable amateur hour sh!t?
no way.
this is expertism at it's finest.
fresh crack'd black pepper by the 'cornload?
i doo-doo that.
crushed red italian hot pepper flakes, too?
too much is the right amount,
and entry-level plain cheese can go straight to bummerville by itself, buddy.
i'm on the next train to satisfaction city, and this pizza is sponsoring my trip.
daiya chee' is not the best thing that ever happened.
but, it's absolutely not the worst, by a long shot.
minced up smaller than the standard shreds, it does what it's supposed to twice as well,
and double the dopeness is somethin' i can certainly hang out with.
mince up your shreds, kids.
it's better.
i used 2:1 mozzarella style and cheddar, and it was just what this pizza needed.
the crust, though.
the crust for this rectangular square of grammie's-own thickness.
that's where the big action took place.
anybody can make an ok crust.
but it takes a little somethin' MORE to make it go to eleven.
i got you, booboo.
SQUARE v.357
in your stand-upright dough mixer, with the hook in place,
knead up:
1 cup a.p. flour;
1/2 cup bread flour;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1 pkg regular-A* yeast;
1 tsp sugar;
2 T olive oil;
2  nootch.
1 1/2 tsp salt;
add 1 cup warm water w/ 1 tsp bread machine yeast stirred in and bloomed five minutes.
beat it up for ten minutes straight, cover it, and immediately refrigerate it for at least 12 hours.
18 is better, but i don;t know your life, friends.
make time for richer flavor in your crust though.
you will feel better about your whole life if you do.
you gotta hand toss it, and stretch it, and all that noise.
do it how you do it, but if you've got a half-sheet small-walled baking tray?
oil it and let your dough rise a little, covered in a warm, damp tea towel,
while your oven is heating, and those tomatoes are roasting,
mltipurpose effort and efficiency are both invited to the pizza party, bud.
let them in, and have some fun.
pizza parties for one.
that's my move.
not because i'm antisocial, but because that way i get ALL the pizza., right?
i know.
i'd love to let y'all have some, and experience how expert it really is,
but then i'd have less pizza, and that's no good for me.
i'll have to make much much MORE, next time,
so you can come by and have a square or three, and i can still have a whole one.
serving size of pizza is: until there's no more pizza.
half a pizza?
leaving a slice for later?
that's quittery, and that can't hang out over here.
you stay until the thing is DONE.
that's the decree, and i abide by it forever.
pizza is the best thing.
if everything was pizza, the world would be a better place;
never quiet, never soft.....

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