Monday, August 5


an olive-oiled pan can make for a tremendous pizza pie.
that's a lil somethin' you may've not immediately suspected,
but it's a true story
i like a freeform hand-tossed pizza.
i like a sicilian grannie-pan pizza, too.
it also seems to be factual information that i like those perfect circles, too.
i s'pose that's not news.
i LOVE pizza.
it's the best thing to eat, and it always makes me happy in my heart.
i'm gonna maybe get expert on some circles for a bit, tho, bro.
and i'm not at all sorry about it.
my oven is roaring at 480℉.
the baking stones are saturated in radiant hottness.
the steel pans are coated in oil,
and the dough is finger-stretched straight up to the edges.
when all that's on point, you can get especially excited about what's gonna happen.
check the teleport:

caramelized onions are soooo delicious.
i mean, a glug of oil, a pinch of salt, a lotta sliced clivers of those bulby boys,
and time invested over medium-high heat will get you something pretty incredible.
sliced red and orange sweet baby tomatoes?
some people hate tomatoes over sauce.
i guess it get that.
my best bud on earth is a full-time pizzaiolo, and he won't hang out with that.
but i like 'em, so i make it happen, and i figure it's all probably okay anyway.
we don't all have to like all the same stuff.
did i mince up my daiya mozzarella?
what do you think i am?
some kind of laughably bush-league amateur A*-hole?
i take my pizza game to eleven.
you won't catch me out here with bummer chee', bruh.
don't be dumb.
the basil is from my own plants, and it makes the meal more massively excellent.
that's a thing.
and the flowers are pretty as hell, aren't they?
i like it cute. so what?
that's allowed, and it happened and i'm happy about it.
what's in the dough?
i'll tell you:
1 cup king arthur bread flour;
3/4 cup king arthur ap flour;
2 tsp sea salt;
2 T olive oil;
1 T vegan butter;
1 tsp sugar;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1/4 tsp wheat gluten;
3/4 cup warm water.
kneaded up in my trusty longtime friend, the kitchen-aid upright mixer.
the one i've used so much the aluminum of the dough hook is permanently attached,
and the heavy usage has only served to further affix that hooker in place.
it's dedicated to dope dough, and it did its job admirably again.
11 minutes of beatin' it up,
then i oiled it up, covered it up, and let it rise until it was 2x size.
i divided it in two, formed two balls, and gave it fifteen more minutes of bulky boostin'.
then, i spread each one on an oiled circle, and over three separate pinches,
pushed 'em to the edges.
that's how you doo-doo that freaky sh!t like a pro, yo.
this pizza pie also has cracked black pepper on it,
and fried garlic sprankles, because rules is rules,
and if you don't hit it with the garlic,
you're kicked out of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress forever.
sorry, but that's just how it is.
there's chopped baby spinach on the bottom.
leafy greens are good for you, and they really make pizza better-
especially under the sauce.
try it, you'll see that i know what i'm talking about.
the sauce?
straight-up tuttorosso crushed tomatoes will 100% do the trick.
you don't have to get all wild with it.
they're MADE for that, and they taste great, so just relax and be happy.
i'm happy.
pizza always works for that.
i actually considered going out for pizza.
here's the thing-
mine is WAY better, and while i see the benefit of reinvesting my dollars bac
into the community that i live in?
i don't want less dope pizza,
and i don't get more than 10% of my tattoo business from local folks.
sorry, north conway, but until i start with the puppet shows or somethin'
that we can all get involved in,
i'm prbably gonna just make my own food and enjoy it a billion times more.
maybe make better food, dudes.
just sayin'.
pizza is what i want, bro.
pizza is what i got, man.
that's what's up;
never quiet, never soft.....

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