Monday, August 5

SAZZAGE and PEPPZ!

vegan tempeh sausage crOmble magic from scratch?
F* yeah!
i do that and i do it well.
...and when you combine it with herbs and red onions and rainbow bell peppers?
neighbors,
there's nothin' that's gonna get me more ready for a good time than a pizza;
but a sausage and pepper pizza is a great time the whole time and that's no joke.
check the mutha-effin' teleport:

SAZZ'N'PEPPZ!!
nothin' says D√úDI BOI SUMMER like a perfectly round oven-fresh homemade pizza.
if you can't feel that, your feelers must be broken, bruh.
for really-real.
this round thin-crust with those sesame sossamon spranks?
C'MON.
that's level eleven pretty princess sh!t, baby.
the oven was, and always is, at 480 convection ℉.
that's how you do it.
i baked it on a pan, and finished it directly on the stones.
yeah, i got those slabs in there.
i want good baked stuff, so i do the things that make that happen.
there's garden fresh oregano and rosemary on there.
there's MINCED daiya mozzarella chee', too.
if you don't mince it, you're making a major misstep in the vegan pizza game.
that's a fact.
totturosso crushed tomatoes serve as the sauce element.
and then those raw red onions, and the rings of rainbow peppers come through.
i fired up some fried garlic sprankles;
which the rules very clearly indicate as essential.
i mean,
if you're trying to have woodsly goodsly vegan hottness,
you gotta do the garlic thing or you're doing it wrong.
MORE sesame seeds? for sure.
a ton of tempeh sausage bits?
OBVIously.
too much is the right amount.
heck i even finished it with parsley bits for mega-prettier prettiness.
and should we talk about that elite spicy sweet tempeh sorcery on top?
aight.
-
*
TEMPEH SAZZAGE!
-
in a 1 quart saucepot, with a spoonful of oil, on high heat, saute:
1/2 block of cubed tempeh;
2 T finely minced onion;
Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, fennel seed, crushed rosemary, sage, thyme, oregano, basil,
crushed red pepper, smoked paprika, dried parsley, black pepper,
all according to the taste you prefer.
i mean, spice it up, and don't be shy.
add 1 T nootch;
2 T tamari;
1 T red wine vinegar;
1 T agave;
1/2 cup vegan broth;
2 dashes liquid smoke.
bring it to a boilm the reduce to a simmer, stirring roughly to break up the cubes,
and soften the edges, while the liquid is absorbed.
when that's all hydrated, and hot, allow it to caramelize a bit,
for added activated expert flavor enhancement.
friends, that's all there is to it.
seriously.
a pot of stuff cooking down to a brown batch of blops.
but what you get is the TRUTH.
mmmmmmmmm.
-
the dough recipe is in the post below this one.
now you know what's up.
*
MORE PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY.
that's what the world needs.
that's what i need.
that's why i do what i do.
i feel like there's a lot that i perpetually get wrong,
so the few things i regularly reliably get right?
i do them a LOT.
tiny confidence building victories, but that i can also eat.
that sounds good to me;
never quiet, never soft.....

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