Monday, August 5


vegan tempeh sausage crOmble magic from scratch?
F* yeah!
i do that and i do it well.
...and when you combine it with herbs and red onions and rainbow bell peppers?
there's nothin' that's gonna get me more ready for a good time than a pizza;
but a sausage and pepper pizza is a great time the whole time and that's no joke.
check the mutha-effin' teleport:

nothin' says D√úDI BOI SUMMER like a perfectly round oven-fresh homemade pizza.
if you can't feel that, your feelers must be broken, bruh.
for really-real.
this round thin-crust with those sesame sossamon spranks?
that's level eleven pretty princess sh!t, baby.
the oven was, and always is, at 480 convection ℉.
that's how you do it.
i baked it on a pan, and finished it directly on the stones.
yeah, i got those slabs in there.
i want good baked stuff, so i do the things that make that happen.
there's garden fresh oregano and rosemary on there.
there's MINCED daiya mozzarella chee', too.
if you don't mince it, you're making a major misstep in the vegan pizza game.
that's a fact.
totturosso crushed tomatoes serve as the sauce element.
and then those raw red onions, and the rings of rainbow peppers come through.
i fired up some fried garlic sprankles;
which the rules very clearly indicate as essential.
i mean,
if you're trying to have woodsly goodsly vegan hottness,
you gotta do the garlic thing or you're doing it wrong.
MORE sesame seeds? for sure.
a ton of tempeh sausage bits?
too much is the right amount.
heck i even finished it with parsley bits for mega-prettier prettiness.
and should we talk about that elite spicy sweet tempeh sorcery on top?
in a 1 quart saucepot, with a spoonful of oil, on high heat, saute:
1/2 block of cubed tempeh;
2 T finely minced onion;
Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, fennel seed, crushed rosemary, sage, thyme, oregano, basil,
crushed red pepper, smoked paprika, dried parsley, black pepper,
all according to the taste you prefer.
i mean, spice it up, and don't be shy.
add 1 T nootch;
2 T tamari;
1 T red wine vinegar;
1 T agave;
1/2 cup vegan broth;
2 dashes liquid smoke.
bring it to a boilm the reduce to a simmer, stirring roughly to break up the cubes,
and soften the edges, while the liquid is absorbed.
when that's all hydrated, and hot, allow it to caramelize a bit,
for added activated expert flavor enhancement.
friends, that's all there is to it.
a pot of stuff cooking down to a brown batch of blops.
but what you get is the TRUTH.
the dough recipe is in the post below this one.
now you know what's up.
that's what the world needs.
that's what i need.
that's why i do what i do.
i feel like there's a lot that i perpetually get wrong,
so the few things i regularly reliably get right?
i do them a LOT.
tiny confidence building victories, but that i can also eat.
that sounds good to me;
never quiet, never soft.....

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