better and better.

what a day.
me and my dog walked all over the flippin' neighborhood,
the long way,
twice.
yeah.
just because it's a day off doesn't mean it's a do-nothin' day.
i mean,
what even are those?
i was up and at 'em early, and i went right to work on some treats.
the sourdough starter was active as heck,
so i tried my hand at some sloppy wet dough-
yikes.
that's sticky.
in 90F weather, a 70+% hydration level is pretty wet.
and things got gummy up in here all day long.
neighbors-
maybe you're into the science of bread,
maybe you like weighing things.
or measuring.
maybe you just like that taste,
heck,
maybe you get RID of your crusts, where all the flavor hangs out,
because you hate things that are awesome.
i don't know you, man.
all i know is that bread is expert.
homemade bread is double-expert.
and these loaves i've got over here are shaping up to be some tasty treats.
heck, i'm reppin' Tea'N'Toast as i type right now.
friends,
check the teleport:

BREAD!!!
100% white mountain white wheat sourdough.
looks pretty good and tastes pretty great, i think.
there IS a blowout, just out of frame, where all that dreamy steam escaped in a hurry.
i'm gonna go ahead and chalk that up to inexperience,
as it also spread a bit when it hit the hot cast iron.
while i'm confessing-
i probably could've cold-proofed it a little longer for more sour flavor,
but,
all told, it's got the best crumb yet,
which isn't saying too much,
given the dense bombers that the whole wheat and the rye have been so far.
i mean it.
my first half rye, light rye, whole wheat jaun looks so sexxxy,
but yo'd better bring your molars to the party,
because it is super-delicious, but molto SOLID.
awwwwww.
check the teleport:

RYE!
the flavor is incredible, and the crust is fully on point,
the thing is,
even with considerable oven spring, it uniformly rose,
without any big bubbles in the crumb.
as toast, it's elite,
as a sandwich bread it's got some strength,
and it's chewy, like old world rye always is, too.
guys,
i'm getting right into this bread scene.
homemade, hearty, from-scratch batches of big action are always my favorite-
and the active participation i can engage in gives me all the good feels.
no joke.
i like to make things.
look, kids,
getting the freshie-fresh storebought jauns from the local organic oven spot is fine.
really.
that's good for the community, or something.
right?
but,
this way,
i'm putting all my heart and soul,
time, energy, and love,
into the creation, as well as the consumption,
of these circles of cracked grains, water, leaven, and salt.
that's what's up.
...
i'm getting better each try?
hold on-
i'm getting a bit better as i get more comfortable with the process,
each and every time!
yeah.
that's more like it.
good bread makes better people.
i believe it.
and my bread is getting gooder all the time.
oh, c'mon.
i'm lucky to have the resources,
and the friends,
and the short times in between bigger times,
to check in, calm down,
fold over, and rise up with these loaves.
i know it,
and i'm improving myself as i enrich the gluten.
it's synergy, i think.
one leaven, two expansions.
it's all really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....

ningun problema.

hey there, friends-
yesterday was a mess.
no. for serious.
a mess.
appointments canceling,
haircut gossiping,
grateful dead tattooing.....
a lot of little lumpy obstacles kept trying to insinuate some stink-eyed
suck-salad into an otherwise beautiful day.
but,
i didn't let any of it distract and detract from my goal-
a good dinner and big hang outs with my four-legged battle-beast.
yup.
me and crabtree 
and a long evening turning into night as a pair of exercising animals.
he loves the attention,
and car rides, and people watching-
i love the company,
and the cuddly tendencies of my terrier when no one else is around
but before that, the good food portion of the program popped off
and produced some prime pleasures for my piehole.
...
the dinner plan?
well,
not grocery shopping meant making do with what we had on hand.
and what was freshly at the ready was a mack-hand slap of powerpoint fuerte fuego.
huh?
c'mon.
you saw the calendar, you know what's up.
rules is rules, man.
i mean it.
the thing is,
even the staples of my normal mexican martes would've taken more time
than i wanted to spend on a very necessary, pressing,
and urgent quick-and-dirty dose of TACO TUESDAY soft flour circles
of conjuration and summoning.
you'll see.....
check the sans-guac-y-refrieds-type teleport:

OLE' OLE' OLE'-OLE'!!!
neighbors,
i had all the pans going at once,
because i want what i want, and i want it NOW.
actually,
i was just trying to get all the food in my very hungry facepiece as rapidly as possible.
i used cheater rice, i have to admit, but i doctored it up to repair the rift
that a splurge in fast long-grain shortcutting created.
macerated jalapeno and scallion, and salt, and a little lime juice,
and the shystie rice became much fancier in a hurry.
otherwise,
i had three pans, and more than one kind of food in each-
broth-simmered sweet potato, with cayenne, and GPOP, and coriander?
delicioso
grilled fresh-off-the-cob local sweet corn?
yeah!!
that's the stuff.
tiny cubes of blackened herb superfirm tofu, dry-fried,
then activated with straight outta the garden oregano, GPOP, smoky paprika,
black pepper, and nootch?
heck yes, duders.
little roly-poly pieces of crisp-edged chewy hottness are always welcome at my fiesta.
no doubt.
i even took some homemade seitan sausage, chopped it to bits,
and seared 'em alongside some red onion, garlic, and a couple of cholula ho' sauces,
for a verry spicy, exxxtra-tangy doused dose of dopeness.
i doo-doo that variety-style freaky sh!t.
i don't want just one kind of taco,
and i can appreciate the diversity of a wide spectrum of special ingredients.
baby spinach, red lettuce, fancy baby lettuce, shredded red cabbage,
 and coarsely chopped cilantro, all complete the base for these build-ups.
i also put some of my custom from-scratch salsa verde up on some,
a little-cilantro-lime cashew cream,
and red onion and cilantro sprankles, on others.
heck,
even a little heirloom tomato magic, which didn't hurt a damned thing.
sliced jalapeno?
don't mind if i do.
a little MORE heat is good for you
and strawberry!
c'mon.
what are you?
joking?
of COURSE strawberry!!!
i'll add some farm-fresh fruit to my meal if i wanna,
and i'll enjoy it a whole bunch while i do..
........wait.
what are THOSE?
hahahaha.
guys,
i fried up some super thin zucchini and summer squash crisps.
yup.
and HOLY SH!T-
that took the already expert everything way up there,
to a level eleven off-the-charts experience,
and all of this was underway and inside my bellyhole with 30 minutes or so.
there was enough for 7 tacos,
and a few scoops of rice beyond that.
hmmm?
oh, yeah.
there was nothing left over.
i mean, after all,
i'm filling up the places where i would've put friendships with tacos.
introverted hermit habits die hard,
but tacos?
those die even harder.
good food is what i want.
good times are optional.
this is What Is,
and that's all there can be;
never quiet, never soft.....

pizza is patriotic.

duders,
when you're forlorn,
forsaken,
forgotten,
but still forged in hot fire and lightning,
how do you forgo a furious flash of freshness
on the fourth of july???
ummmmmmm,
you DON'T!
don't be dumb.
i may have been all by my lonely,
and that may have been a letdown,
but i devised and improvised some bootstrap-and-spirit-lifting big action
and it brought me right back to brighter spots and greener pastures,
what was it that made it all better?
what was it that brought the funtimes back?
what was it?
what was it?
it was that P.M.A.
y'know?
Pizza Munching Activation.
hahahah.
neighbors,
did i get down with four pizzas, for freedom, on the fourth?
YUUUUUUUP.
check the pizza-party-type teleport:

PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!!
c'mon.
that's the stuff.
in fact, that's the stuffed crust,
and the deep dish,
and the square,
and the white mountain white pie.
you'd better recognize the expert techniques at work here.
cold-proofed high-hydration heavy-semolina sourdough-infused dough.
-
two cups of ap flour
a big shake of salt
one cup of semolina
half a cup of sourdough starter
a cup of warm water
bakers' yeast
a pinch of sugar
a T of yogurt,
and time.
why so much extra stuff in there/
because it's a pizza party, for one,
on the flippin' fourth of july.
240 years of america,
and you think i'm just gonna use four ingredients?
get on my level, y'all.
this recipe was good,
and it swelled like sails in the wind-
no joke, it doubled in bulk twice before i put it in the fridge,
and still rose considerably while it developed in the chillbox.
that's rad.
-
y'wanna hear about each of these big, hot, delicious doses of decadent dopeness?
you do?
thank goodness.
i thought i was wasting your time for a second.
teleport:

* garlic-and chee'-stuffed crust!
with cashew-nootch-crusted fried italian eggplant
(the little italy jauns have thin sweet skins, so you don't have to peel 'em)
salted, rinsed, dredged in a nootchy falx'd cashew-almond milk slurry,
dipped in ground cashew, nootch, and GPOP'd starch,
and fried in canola until they smelled like my nana's house.
with seitan-broth-braised broccolini florets,
sauteed garlic scapes,
minced red chili,
and shaved vegan gouda,
all atop crushed tomatoes and underchee', of course!
i wish i'd made a 20" version of this.
it had all the great taste of a heavy italian parm sub,
only twenty times more elite.
i'm very happy with how much more edible this attempt at eggplant was
than with how the results of many of my previous forays into aubergine were.
lucky me.
i polished off almost all of this one,
first, because it was SO dope,
and second, because eggplant is an A*-hole about reheating.
real talk.
wanna see a thing of beauty?
ok.
check the green-and-purple-type teleport:

WU-TANG!!!!
*white mountain white pie!
no sauce, just underchee' and daiya chee'
topped off with grilled leeks,
braised asparagus-
which was very local, but very skinny,
as the season closes and the plants are tired.
terrible news for the folks making asparagus on it's own,
but incredibly good news for pizza time.
skinny asparagus melts in your mouth and there's nothing bad about that.
neighbors,
while the oven was preheating,
i was roasting baby beets.
yup.
beets.
i know,
i thought beets were on the short list of vegetable i don't hang out with,
but,
i've grown as a person, and expanded my tastes,
and those mutha-F*ers are delicious.
how do we sexxxy up something so beautiful?
fried garlic sprankles, obvi.
that's right.
because when it's time to make pizza,
it's time to activate all the sorcery at our disposal.
mmhmmm.
i do that.
MORE?
you got it:

*deeeeeeeep dissssssssssshhhh!
friends,
i did it right.
underchee', daiya cheddar,
chopped and sauteed house-blend vegan sausage and pepperoni,
caramelized onions,
shredded baby kale, daiya mozz',
crushed tomatoes, nootch-blasted fresh vine-ripened tomatoes,
and a two-tone straight-outta-the-garden basil combo.
stacks on stacks on stacks are what's good.
vegan cheesy veggie deluxxxe hottness is what's great-
and both of those things are present in this sunovab!tch!
expert!!
here's the thing, friends.
too much is the right amount,
so my fourth for the fourth had to be explosivo.
i'm into it.
i like that sort of thing.
and i figured i could take it to eleven in a sort of grand finale
without having to leave the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
the bombs were bursting in my mouth, man.
check the betsy-ross-type teleport:

AMERRRRRRRRRRRICA!!!!
hey, yo, that's IT!
three chee',
star-cut pepperoni,
grape tomato stripes,
and a siciliano square to ensure that our flag was still there.
star-spangled super-official cheesy-pullin' pizza is the TRUTH.
if you aren't about it,
get outta here.
*
today is the day.
a short day at work,
a long day with the dog,
and an even longer night with just the two of us.
i don't feel like cooking at the moment,
so maybe i won't.
i mean,
there's still a slice or two of pizza.
hmmmm?
...well, no;
i didn't eat all 50" of pizza.
and you're right-
generally i do avoid leftovers,
as used food appeals very little to me.
but,
it's PIZZA,
and there's all sorts of dispensations regarding that.
i'm lucky to have the opportunity to make food like this.
i'm grateful for the time i've been given,
and the vision i pursue for my plates.
nothing is perfect,
but everything is getting there.
it's all really happening,
and i guess there's no getting away from it;
never quiet, never soft.....

PARTY.

strawberries,
and blueberries,
and lemon,
and coconut,
and oatmeal,
and frosting.
woooooord.
y'know what that is?

it's a party.
right?
i thought it might be,
but i'm not sure.
is it a party if you're the only one there?
i'm not sure it counts.
however,
there were also four pizzas and a dog in attendance,
so maybe that can pad the numbers a bit,
and keep me from seeming like such an antisocial shut-in.
awwwww.
the crust on that tarty treat is a combination of crushed coconut and oatmeal,
drenched in butterish, brown sugar, vanilla, and almond milk.
it's macaroonish, and it's magical,
and i'm glad i made it.
the filling?
pastry creme.
it tastes so much like the old italian pastry shops' in new haven,
and that had me happy to help myself to a whole lot of nostalgia
as well as a diabetic coma.
yikes.
lemon, almond, and vanilla extracts are the key.
the creaminess comes from a cashew-almond combination,
and cornstarch, arrowroot, flour, and powdered sugar whisked in.
i've gone over the recipe before,
and i doubt today is the day you wish you had it in front of you.
fresh fruit,
lemon zesty sprankles,
and that coconut frosting swirled in abundance,
to make sure you get a toothache?
i doo-doo that cavity creepin' sh!t, kids.
yeah!
fourth of july hottness that took forever to cool off enough to cut,
but once it was ready,
it was SO ready.
no joke.
**********
guys,
for real-
it's just no fun to go to see fireworks by yourself-
nope.
it's not.
and,
it turns out,
it was good thing i didn't go see and be seen in town,
as crabtree wanted to fight the invisible explosions in the atmosphere.
uh-huh.
he couldn't see 'em,
(neither of us could)
but ohhhh MAN could he ever hear 'em,
and strongly dislike the cacophonic crapwaves of shock and awe;
so much so that he barked himself silly,
while i tried to retain some solidity in my cerebellum,
as his barkfest threatened to melt my mind into a puddle of pudding.
so,
to recap,
fireworks happened in the woodlsy goodness,
just like they do on every 4th of july,
and i'm sure they looked like glittery pom-poms in the air,
just like always...
my dog hated the whole idea of this new noise,
and routinely came in to check and make sure
that it wasn't me doing all the kabooming outside.
...it wasn't, not even once.
there was too much pizza, and dessert,
and we took to the hills two times on long walks to the wee waterways
that trickle down around the rocks of my neighborhood.
oh,
and there were at least two other tattoo studios' staff up here-
people i've known for years ....over a decade, in fact;
but,
we didn't meet up or anything-
i mean, c'mon,
there are certainly other other things and people to see,
and places to go that aren't my kitchen or the trails around my property.
ha.
really, everywhere else, with anyone else,
while i stay home and bake.
uh-huh.
like i said,
it's no fun to go see fireworks by yourself,
but the only thing that'd dip that down even lower than the nadir of no friends?
old acquaintances all hanging tough together with your estranged ex-friends
and/or exes in general.
awwwwww, man.
thank goodness for crabby.
ha.
sorta.
we spanned a whole bunch of time,
and traveled a whole lot of the depth and width and breadth and length
of these woodsly roadways,
on foot, and by car,
as we trekked around in the daytime listening and looking,
hearing and seeing,
and generally being awake and aware of there being just us two,
and counting on each other for attention.
it worked,
and we hung out so super hard he slept on me in the car like a little (giant) baby.
awwww.
i s'pose, all truths being told, that i really appreciated his company.
a free day off, essentially,
and i invested it in making food.
baking and broiling and stretching and stirring and everything else.
that's the best part about celebrating freedom, isn't it?
you're free to do what you think is best,
and take that jaun up to eleven.
i did a lot all day,
but i ate most of it.
that's the other best part.
being free to make sure there's too much of everything.
i'm exercising my rights,
and exercising to burn off the calories from righteous shark-gluttony.
it's all really happening,
with or without fireworks,
with or without other people,
with or without sleep,
and that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....

americakes

everybody likes cupcakes.
or, at least,
everybody who isn't an A*-hole likes 'em.
and then again,
maybe even some A*-holes also might like a cuppy little cakelet, too.
personally,
i LOVE a good cupcake,
and i love a good holiday,
especially if there's explosions in the sky at the end.
i can't say for certain that i wanna go look at burning powders
glittering overhead once it's dark,
but i will proudly exclaim that i will eat way too many cupcakes.
why?
because too much is the right amount,
and that's about the most proudly all-american sentiment i can muster up.
dudes,
check the captain-ameri'cakes-type teleport:

THE BOMBS ARE BURSTING. B!TCHES!!
vegan white chocolate is mostly cocoa buttery powder,
but when you add some non-dairy milk to it,
you get the big flavor and the that thickness you crave, man.
it's basically pudding in the mix,
but,
none of it is box mix,
because box mix is for jerks.
that's real.
i've talked about cakes and frosting a lot over the years,
so i'll skip it this time if it's all the same to you.
i will, however, get psyched as heck on those sprankles.
yup.
red white and blue little sparkle jauns,
and those fancy stars, too.
-
***********
it's america's 240th,
and it's a nice day outside.
i've got good to prep,
but i've also got walks to take,
moves to make,
bread to bake,
and a whole lotta outside times to enjoy with my idiot canine companion.
he's not a genius.
...definitely not a genius.
he IS a good guy, though, friends,
and my crappy little crabtree and i are gonna span a whole lot of today together,
being a pair of pals and buddies who like being with each other.
or,
we're going to have a running battle against each others' infinite animal natures,
and we'll find out if brute force and teeth trump insight, intuition, and thumbs.
it's bound to be one or the other,
we'll have to see where the afternoon takes us.
after all,
it's bound to be a big day,
because berfdays are always a helluva time.
today is the day, and i'm excited to watch it unfold,
and eventually go kaboom.
i'm grateful for the time i have been given,
and for the people i would normally span it with,
if they didn't all have something better to do.
whatever, kids,
that's just more mutha-effin' cupcakes and pizza for ME;
never quiet, never soft.....

independence.

well,
i've got a half-rye wheat bread cold-flavor-proofing in the refrigerator.
yup.
my twin sourdough starters are blooming with double-bulk big enzymes,
and they've grown accustomed to the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
the next step, i believe, is to add a third team member,
in the form of a dark rye jaun.
that way,
the living cultures can form a trinity of terrific,
and take over all the available empty space on my counter.
guys,
this bread baking feels good.
can i tell you another 'nother another thing that feels pretty good?
i've got the day off.
here's the thing-
my whiny little peepants puppy got me up sooooo early.
mmhmm.
i've got a stoopid crabtree sniffing around the front door,
as it became apparent that raccoons have shredded open and snacked upon
the garbage bag that sat, awaiting removal, in my mudroom.
huh?
ummmmm, yeah.
....or it could've been a fox, coyotes.
i dunno.
i DO know that the ol' guard dog was asleep in front of a fan,
and therefore incapable of giving a sh!t about intruders, man.
heck,
that's why i have so many firearms in the house, anyway-
you can't count on prevention as much as you can depend on your own reactions.
or overreactions.
or interactive double-action revolvers.
oh. c'mon.
mudroom invaders are one thing,
and if they're lucky enough to evade the shark-bullet in my bed,
so be it;
but,
uninvited interrupting of the INsides of these sacred spaces i call home
gets you shot in your faces by actual bullets.
neighbors,
nature does what it does,
and that wins;
for that matter,
if i was a wild beast with a hungry bellyhole,
i wouldn't have refused some stinky refuse if it was right there, either-
the screen/storm door was ajar,
and now my discarded doo-doo is strewn about the porch.
yuck.
at any rate,
NOW crabby wants to investigate and/or snack up on some of the garbage.
for the record,
it's not actually in this dog's job description to defend our territory.
nope.
i got him for hanging out and battle-beasting with me when we're alone.
and for being a pain-in-the-A* when we have invited guests.
it figures he's sticking to the letter of his charter and not giving any F*s
about the other four-legged woodsly goodfellows that sneak about in the dark.
i guess it's my job to defend me and mine.
and to double-check the screen door after ampy lets him out to pee at night.
unfortunately,
it's also my job to pick up sloppy fuzzy strawberry blops and festy paper towels
from the concrete.
awwwwwww.
it's a bummer to touch wet crap in the morning,
but i'm coasting in on good feelings
about the hot dinner i had waiting for me when i got home.
check the teleport:

lemony garlic cream sauce and pasta,
with asparagus!
by candlelight!!
and it was delicious!!!
i may be handling some trash,
but i'm reminiscing about ampy d's macaroni.
*
so,
besides that rye in my banneton,
what else is poppin'?
well,
i've also got pizza dough bulk rising as i type.

seriously,
i'm not about to miss out on pizza,
just because there will be fireworks at some point in the evening.
i'm prepared to snack up on some ameri'ZA tonight-
early, if need be, because pizza is my favorite,
and when i get a secret day off,
there's nothing better than a big ol' circle of infinite expertism to
take the holiday up to eleven.
there's no room for nancypantsin' around these parts.
i'm on the fence about lawnmowing today.
since i don't plan on hanging out in the yard.
a free day off seems like it'd be ruined by doing sweaty chores.
especially when i could be cooking up a storm.
y'feel me?
today is the day,
and it's got bread and pizza and garbage underway already.
seems like there's big things in the works around here;
never quiet, never soft.....

summersuppersupersandwich.

TALKING ABOUT FOOD.
i can't help myself.
it's the most-time consuming activity in every day.
i fixate on meals,
i dwell on spices,
i ponder the infinite nature of cheffing it up.
thus,
i make food so i have something to discuss.
and it follows that sourdough saturday means sourdough sandwiches.
i'm sayin'-
it sounds right to me,
and it turned out pretty righteous, too.
neighbors,
good bread makes a great sandwich.
i mean it,
last night's meal was very comforting,
and we took that comfort and stuffed ourselves to bursting with it.
it's OVER indulging that we promote the hardest,
and putting comfort food in your face until you're physically UNcomfortable?
well, now-
too much is the right amount,
and you all already knew that before we started.
check the mean-manly-'guini-type teleport:

that's the thumper that bumps up my expert levels considerably.
buttered, toasted white sourdough slices,
which would've been satisfying all alone-
packed up with piles of flavor, texture, and heat.....
big pickles are mandatory,
but we also had thin sliced juicy vine-ripened tomatoes!
that's drippily double juicy!
there's slaw, in a heap, as well.
guys,
that slaw?
elite.
thiiiin shreds of red cabbage, a heavy-handful of cilantro, slivered carrot,
tiny crescents of celery, miniature ringlets of green onion,
black pepper, sea salt, and the last slap of vegenaise in the jar.
huh...what now?
ummmmm,yeah.
OBviously there's a side of it, too, with some crawnchy cukes to set it off
with a little cool, crisp crackle on the edges of every bite.
i'm sorta smart about that stuff, because i'd hate to miss out on a prefect bite,
just because i didn't think through the textures or something.
y'know?
c'mon, man.
it's worth the effort, because you get to snack up on the rewards.
-
back to that sandwich:
dry-fried agave-glazed GPOP'd garlic-oil tofu is good!
sweet, firm, hot, and heavy, ready, and willing,
to turn up the sandwich game to eleven.
it did.
but then we took it a few steps beyond.
shredded seitan and red onions, sauteed in soy and smoke and spice,
for a barbecutioned blast of pulled-porky power, without a single dead pig!!
fresh red onion, paper thin, and semi-circular,
completed the look,
but sriracha squiggles finished the even bigger picture for us.
a good sandwich at the end of a good day is the right way to fuel up
for a good night's rest.
there's just one last thing, though:
SEASONED CURLIES!
yuuuuuuuuuuuuup
spicy cajun french-style fried potatoes, in big loops, swirls, and arcs!!!!
y'gotta.
so we did.
and for realsies,
comfort just isn't as comforting without potatoes, duders.
that's a fact.
***********
patriotic long weekending is upon us.
i've got tonight to really take advantage of it,
because tomorrow is looking a whole lot emptier.
the studio is closed,
ampy d is abandoning ship for a bullsh!t batch of beaches and b!tches,
and crabtree hasn't had the pleasure of explosions in the sky yet,
so there's no telling how he'll react.
(i suspect, as in all of these things, nothing good will come of it)
to recap:
that's no money,
no honey,
and only the battle-beastliness of my barbarian terrier to keep me occupied.
hard styles sometimes choose us,
before we can opt for wrench ourselves.
preemptive fourth of july fizzling is what i'm bracing for,
but who knows?
maybe independence on the day is in the spirit and memory of the right move,
and the declaration of some kind of good stuff?
i'll cross my fingers,
but by that i mean, both middle one,
in an X,
and stay ugly, stay dope,
and stay the (collision)course i'm bearing down.
it's all really happening,
and i think there's probably something to be learned in all of it,
but i'm steadfastly and stubbornly refusing to see it;
never quiet, never soft.....

grained.

my gluten levels are STRONG.
no joke.
we smashed down a whole loaf of all-white sourdough.
yup.
from-scratch baking is good for the soul,
and much much more than that for your mouth and stomach.
real talk.
i got the treats i ordered, and i immediately put 'em to good use.
one deluxe white loaf of heroic wheaten wonder,
made from a secondary starter,
split off and evolved from the nicaraguan gift i got a few weeks back!
c'mon.
that's kind of expert, isn't it?
four cups of flour,
one and a splashy splash cups of warm water,
coarse sea salt,
and that active leaven,
eating up all the starchy sugars and converting them to aerated energy.
i'm so glad my homeboy travis broke me off a piece of his chef.
check the whit-mountain-white-type teleport:

THOSE STRIPES!!!
my new braided breadmaking basket is dope.
that's for serious.
i got the bannetons to big-up my big action, and leave those floury spirals
of delicately indented deliciousness in that crawnchy crumb!!!
i wanted more oven spring,
and i bot more oven spring.
neighbors,
i'm happy with what i've turned out so far,
and we've been munching it up like starved savages-
but,
i'm eager to really make some magic happen up in here sooner than later.
i also just received light and dark rye flours,
so some old-timey bread&puppet hottness is likely to show up
at the Folk Life & Liberty proofing block before long, as well.
i sure do love activities that reward the obsessive hyperfixated attention
i'm prepared to inflict on this new addition to the woodsly goodness.
*
in other news,
today is the day.
what?
well, yeah,
it's true that they all are.
however,
today is the first day in years that i'm excited to go to work.
...i mean it.
huh?
no.
the tattoos are zero percent more rad than usual-
in fact,
there's a decent likelihood that they won't be very rad at all-
i don't even remember specifically what's on the schedule,
just that there is a whole lot of it.
i'm more concerned with who is on the work-side of the schedule.....
it's a much shorter list than it was in june, dudes.
the thing is,
all the worst parts of the job,
beyond the bad ideas and low budgets,
are gone!
y'ever go to work, and everyone else called in sick,
and you just knew it was gonna be the best day ever?
it's kinda like that, except from here on,
that's every day.
today came right when it should've,
just like it always does,
and i am grateful that small burdens and inconveniences can be replaced
with real problems from now on.
hmmm?
i don't expect anything to get easier.
that's dumb-dumb-head optimism,
and i don't hang out with that.
i do however,
anticipate 100% less-terrible collateral conversation around me from here on out.
this is is.
good bread for breakfast,
tattoos for lunch,
and a sunny sunday of superior satisfaction throughout;
never quiet, never soft.....

SOURDOUGH SATURDAY!

saturday is for baking.
that's no joke.
i've got lazy starters trying to figure out where to leaven,
up here away from the more-reliable tropical temperatures,
in this woodsly goodness,
where the highs and lows are more drastic than a manic depressive's.
word.
here's the thing-
i'll get an acre of wheat, and a hectare of rye, and get it right,
even and/or especially if it kills me.
the rising bubbles of a very bitter batch of boules isn't so bad,
but when the acid might be trying to kill the yeast?
that's when the underlying sour grapes of a caustic aura
in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress has to be addressed.
ha.
what's the solution?
toss it, and use the ashes to begin again.
not literally,
as i'm really just using the wet scrapin's from a big bowl of biga
to invigorate the starting point, and inoculate the wheat with microscopic treats.
.....that's real.
i'm getting it poppin', that's for certain,
but i'd prefer a bit more oven spring.
looks like an enameled dutch-style oven (not the farty bedsheet variety)
is the future of my purchasing agenda.
i'll do what must be done,
to get what must be gotten,
because rules is rules,
and full immersion if the activest of activities when it comes to participation.
we're gonna act like activists, y'know?
single-minded and irritating, that is...
ZING! roasted.
anyway,
i made a whole wheat jaun,
and it's got MORE flavor than the crumb can handle, and a crust so crisp,
it snaps like a snare drum.
my pentosans are revived, neighbors..
check the sourdough-version-three-type teleport:

i'm sure you care about bread, right?
that's that staff-of-life sh!t, son.
the naturally fermented chemical hottness of intentionally harvested cultivated grains
that enabled us to have things like stability and fixed-point site specificity
is the TRUTH.
bread is the big business,
and while it's not exactly easier to make it myself,
it certainly isn't more expensive,
and it's not that hard, either.
besides,
if there's good in me, it's because i put it there,
and good bread makes better people.
i love that.
*
today is the last day of the worst part of the worst part.
get it?
it's a thing.
oh, don't fret-
it'll still be the worst,
but,
it won't be AS bad as before.
that's the problem with things that are the worst, really.
even when they improve somewhat,
it's not enough to lift the derogatory superlative off.
damn.
hard styles abound in the working world of this woodsly goodness,
and a long weekend of vapid vacationy no-vacancy congestion
isn't going to improve that one little tiny bit.
OW.
however,
there's work to be done,
and we've got a job to do.
my dough and i are prepared to get busy,
and there's white starter ready to rock as well.
i've got a split-level sourdough countertop in full effect,
and i've got the sh!t that gets the flour empowered.
it's all really happening,
from the bitter becoming better,
to ghastly goodbyes finally finishing up;
never quiet, never soft.....

rain.

an entirely too-nice day,
swallowed whole by wind and wet and dour grey clouds,
ending in an enfilade of surround-sound thunderbolts
throughout the forest realm.....
july started off with alllllll the weather.
i s'pose that's just a little reminder from mama that she's still here,
and that nature wins,
no matter what we were hoping for.
i had a day,
and then i had a night,
my terrible terrier crabtree and i spent many hours disagreeing
on the best ways to interact with muggy sunny mornings,
and cold rainy evenings.
essentially,
he wanted to hang out INdoors while the sun beat us up,
and sniff around at all the drippity-droppin' sounds OUTside
as the downward pourings drenched my bald pate.
what could i do about a doo-doo buttery end-of-shift transition?
i mean,
i was tattooing the afternoon away while the bright shines were at their best,
and i had the whole night to catch a cold in return.
i opted to grill up some stuff, and since it was mostly brassicas,
and totally awesome,
i figured i could supercharge my body with antibody activation against the rain.
neighbors,
check the teleport:

mmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm.
cauliflower, sweet corn, brussels sprouts, blanched broccoli rabe, red cabbage,
sweet onions, red onions, and red tomatoes,
plus a link of sliced homemade vegan sausage.
i mean, c'mon, guys.
simple and ample.
that's the ticket when time is of the essence,
and enthusiasm is at a low.
a few cucumbers for crunch,
a few more tomatoes for color,
some soy sauce, s&p, and olive oil,
and you've got yourself a grilled salad that's pretty flippin' expert.
what?
oh yeah...
actually, that IS seitan.
i almost forgot about the bottom third of that plate.
ha.
rainbrain makes me dumber, i'd wager.
i fired up a couple of chipotle-marinated, chipotle ho'sauced steaks,
charred just right,
with chopped pickles and onion sprankles to freak it off a touch.
simple isn't my favorite path.
i'm glad i at least still made too much,
or i'd have felt let down.
preoccupation with my occupation put the damper on whatever the rain didn't dampen,
and both of them, together tried to extinguish my spirits.
haha.
no way.
i just get mad, and make food, and that's how i keep the flames lit in the moisture.
you have your styles, i have mine.
*
repeated sniff'n'listen forays into the forest;
hours on end of alert dogness searching for the source of the pittering pats;
late night en-garde thousand-mile stares into the dark corners of the house;
there are times where having a puppy is less cool than others.
rainy anytimes are responsible for a bunch of the least of them.
july is not my favorite,
and i doubt the first week of it up here is going to change my mind about that.
there's lots to do,
and very little opportunity to do it.
responsible adulthood is a double-edged sword,
but,
only if you're doing it right.
awwwww.
off to a wet start,
and not just because we're sweaty as heck-
-
dear july,
             thanks for being a real b!tch.
                   yours in briny bitterness,
                                                   albie;
never quiet, never soft.....

RABBITRABBIT!!!!!!!

it's the first of the month, my dudes.
uh-huh.
the prime debut of a whole other 'nother calendar page,
a fresh start on the billing cycle,
the rent,
and whatever the heck ever else you can imagine
that's tied to the gregorian schedule an' that.
also,
it's the big day for saying our very most favorite echo, isn't it?
yeah, it is.
i got to say it when i was awoken by the clatter and clamour of the verrrry loud,
very late night/early a.m. A*-hole
who was drunkenly caterwauling along the backroadways of the woodsly goodness.
what?
i'm serious.
some wandering waterturd was navigating the dark places,
and belting out a ballad of slippery sh!t-salad!
now,
on the one hand,
he was not driving which would've been a hugely dangerous mistake,
but on the other,
it's very unusual to hear any people lurking in the night,
let alone preposterously off-key inebriated crooners,
up here in the out-of-the-way paths of dirt roads and big trees.
guys,
it's okay not to drink.
in fact, i'd prefer if you didn't,
especially if you plan on hiking within earshot of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
anyway,
that jingle-janglin' jolly jerk woke ampy up,
who, in turn woke me up, to ask what was going on-
and the very first thing i said?
you'd better believe it, man-
rules is rules,
and we say the magic words when the first comes a-callin',
and that happens before we explain that some sodapantsed
d!ckturd is just out traipsing, and will be out of earshot soon enough.
what're the first four syllables in the syllabus of superior fortune attraction?
you know:
rabbit! rabbit!!
yeah!!!
i said it, and then i sat up for a spell of a different sort-
the sort of half-awake grimacing grumbles of a rude awakening,
until i fell back into oblivion for a few more hours.
i said the words,
but the start was rough regardless.
*
what else has to happen when it's the big action big day?
that's riiiiiight.
we get a treat.
and the treats can't be beat this time around-
check the ripest-of-ripe-type teleport:

welcome to july!
chocolate cakes,
two of 'em, one for each rabbit,
with the rest of the coconut crumbly graham crackery clumps
from the critically elite pie form yesterday tossed right in the mix.
what?
oh, yes.
...it's delicious.
a stick of butterish,
less than a cup of sugar
2 cups of flour
1 tsp each baking soda and powder
half a tsp of salt
four big shakes of cocoa
and a half a cup of that pie crust stuff,
mixed up with a cup of vanilla soymilk and vanilla extract.
-
i baked 'em for under half an hour, at the usual 350F,
and let the cooling keep 'em fluffy as they hung out on a rack for a bit...
them when it was time to build up this big baby b!tch of supreme hottness,
i really got into it, and activated a few layers of gooey goodness.
for instance,
between 'em there's coconut-laced coconut cream frosting,
and it's sweet, albeit a bit melty in this heat.
on top?
thinly spread drips and drops of chocolate ganache,
to keep the next level from soaking through-
and the next level just happens to be site-specific fresh, super-ripe
big fat locally harvested strawberries!!!!
daaaaaaaaaaaamn, they're so juicy, and sweet, and red, and HUGE!!!
i couldn't resist droppin' some MORE chocolate drizzles on top,
to affix their fresh-to-death flavor in place.
it looked good, it smelled even better,
but it needed a little baby bit of somethin' exxxtra-
after all,
too much is the right amount,
and we wouldn't want to ruin july as soon as it starts would we?
i mean,
c'mon,
what are we?
a trashed and hammered tone-deaf hoofer in the hills?
no way.
so,
i also whipped up some deep, dark chocolate coconut frosting,
and swirled a tall wall of dark brown dopeness around the rim of my tallcake!
i doo-doo that sort of indulgent dopeness, duders.
*
neighbors,
it's july.
already.
time is not a-wastin',
but holy smokes is it elapsin'.
i need a saga, kids.
an epic adventure.
i'm just sayin',
i do a lot of things, but i don't take many breaks,
and i don't go many places.
time OFF and time away aren't the same,
but it looks like i'm the only one getting neither lately,
and i want a piece of that action.
y'know?
it's all really happening,
and i'm lookin' for just a little bit MORE.
july, man.
rabbit, rabbit,
good lucky cultured cultivation of coincidences,
hear me now-
i want ALL THE NEW HOTTNESS.
we'll see if the singing in the night was just an attempt by the secret universal plan
to upend and undermine the productive, conductive,
conducive and elusive really really real Folk Life wavelengths from reaching out,
and bouncing back,
like the reverberations of a rare frequency.
get it?
oh, c'mon.
i'm tuned in, not tuned-up,
and i'm here to create MORE;
never quiet, never soft.....