Friday, July 1


it's the first of the month, my dudes.
the prime debut of a whole other 'nother calendar page,
a fresh start on the billing cycle,
the rent,
and whatever the heck ever else you can imagine
that's tied to the gregorian schedule an' that.
it's the big day for saying our very most favorite echo, isn't it?
yeah, it is.
i got to say it when i was awoken by the clatter and clamour of the verrrry loud,
very late night/early a.m. A*-hole
who was drunkenly caterwauling along the backroadways of the woodsly goodness.
i'm serious.
some wandering waterturd was navigating the dark places,
and belting out a ballad of slippery sh!t-salad!
on the one hand,
he was not driving which would've been a hugely dangerous mistake,
but on the other,
it's very unusual to hear any people lurking in the night,
let alone preposterously off-key inebriated crooners,
up here in the out-of-the-way paths of dirt roads and big trees.
it's okay not to drink.
in fact, i'd prefer if you didn't,
especially if you plan on hiking within earshot of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
that jingle-janglin' jolly jerk woke ampy up,
who, in turn woke me up, to ask what was going on-
and the very first thing i said?
you'd better believe it, man-
rules is rules,
and we say the magic words when the first comes a-callin',
and that happens before we explain that some sodapantsed
d!ckturd is just out traipsing, and will be out of earshot soon enough.
what're the first four syllables in the syllabus of superior fortune attraction?
you know:
rabbit! rabbit!!
i said it, and then i sat up for a spell of a different sort-
the sort of half-awake grimacing grumbles of a rude awakening,
until i fell back into oblivion for a few more hours.
i said the words,
but the start was rough regardless.
what else has to happen when it's the big action big day?
that's riiiiiight.
we get a treat.
and the treats can't be beat this time around-
check the ripest-of-ripe-type teleport:

welcome to july!
chocolate cakes,
two of 'em, one for each rabbit,
with the rest of the coconut crumbly graham crackery clumps
from the critically elite pie form yesterday tossed right in the mix.
oh, yes.'s delicious.
a stick of butterish,
less than a cup of sugar
2 cups of flour
1 tsp each baking soda and powder
half a tsp of salt
four big shakes of cocoa
and a half a cup of that pie crust stuff,
mixed up with a cup of vanilla soymilk and vanilla extract.
i baked 'em for under half an hour, at the usual 350F,
and let the cooling keep 'em fluffy as they hung out on a rack for a bit...
them when it was time to build up this big baby b!tch of supreme hottness,
i really got into it, and activated a few layers of gooey goodness.
for instance,
between 'em there's coconut-laced coconut cream frosting,
and it's sweet, albeit a bit melty in this heat.
on top?
thinly spread drips and drops of chocolate ganache,
to keep the next level from soaking through-
and the next level just happens to be site-specific fresh, super-ripe
big fat locally harvested strawberries!!!!
daaaaaaaaaaaamn, they're so juicy, and sweet, and red, and HUGE!!!
i couldn't resist droppin' some MORE chocolate drizzles on top,
to affix their fresh-to-death flavor in place.
it looked good, it smelled even better,
but it needed a little baby bit of somethin' exxxtra-
after all,
too much is the right amount,
and we wouldn't want to ruin july as soon as it starts would we?
i mean,
what are we?
a trashed and hammered tone-deaf hoofer in the hills?
no way.
i also whipped up some deep, dark chocolate coconut frosting,
and swirled a tall wall of dark brown dopeness around the rim of my tallcake!
i doo-doo that sort of indulgent dopeness, duders.
it's july.
time is not a-wastin',
but holy smokes is it elapsin'.
i need a saga, kids.
an epic adventure.
i'm just sayin',
i do a lot of things, but i don't take many breaks,
and i don't go many places.
time OFF and time away aren't the same,
but it looks like i'm the only one getting neither lately,
and i want a piece of that action.
it's all really happening,
and i'm lookin' for just a little bit MORE.
july, man.
rabbit, rabbit,
good lucky cultured cultivation of coincidences,
hear me now-
we'll see if the singing in the night was just an attempt by the secret universal plan
to upend and undermine the productive, conductive,
conducive and elusive really really real Folk Life wavelengths from reaching out,
and bouncing back,
like the reverberations of a rare frequency.
get it?
oh, c'mon.
i'm tuned in, not tuned-up,
and i'm here to create MORE;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: