the XI cookies of XImas-1

linzer cookies are delicious.
that's a true story.
the thing is,
i want something new.
i want the flavors, i need that hottness,
i like the idea of raditions,
but,
i got to put that fuego to it,
and add a Folk Life twist to the plot.
to that end,
i made these:

neighbors,
that linzery flav',
but exploded, and reassembled,
with MORE sugar,
and MORE nuts,
and MORE activation.
yup.
crushed up almonds,
and raw sugar crystals,
and dried raspberries,
and a whole lemon's worth of zest,
all in the dough, rolled and cut, and popped and chopped,
into circles and more circles,
with concentric cutaway rings of crispy, crawnchy cookie magic for my mouth.
BOOMfire.
lemon and almond extracts take it up another level, too.
then,
just to be about that too much is the right amount life,
vanilla bean paste launches it to eleven.
mmmhmmmm.
i do that expert baking stuff, friends.
i have an obsessive way of interacting and overreacting
to the wider waking world around me.
i think cookies are a good way to channel the urges that surge up through my fingers,
and inspire me to cause calamities.
no?
you think savage stormswept raging gypsy berserker barbarian battle-beastliness
is a better way to be?
really?
but then,
where will we get our treats?
i mean, c'mon,.
think it through.
what are the other options?
store-bought?
box-mix?
pre-prepared cut'n'bakes?
jesus.
what are you?
an A*-hole?
don't be dumb.
box mix is for jerks,
and store bought means you're not dope.
rules is rules.
real talk.
*
i made XI kinds of cookies.
why?
because of XImas,
OBviously.
i doo-doo that sort of thing.
did you just say that's too many?
what?
are you serious?
where in the F* have you been?
for really real, you have got to shuuuuuuuut up.
there's only one way to be,
when we're being the best versions of ourselves.
taking it easy, or taking it slow, or taking it down a notch.....
that's code for needing to F* right off.
if you're gonna just be dope,
then respect the overriding principle:
too much is the right amount,
and i think it's time you realized something important:
moderation is a placebo for the unambitious.
be about the hottness,
or go cool off somewhere else;
never quiet, never soft.....