Monday, December 21

the XI cookies of XImas- 10&XI

this is it, neighbors.
the last two types of treats in the XImas display.
check the holiday-hottness-type teleport:

kaBOOMfire crimbo explosions, kids.
nevermind the santa-hat dog,
disregard the sparkly bow that matches the mat,
and focus instead on those circles of sugary sexxiness
i've baked up for all y'all.
peanut buttery oatmeal chocolate chip jauns?!
they're so expert,
especially since i didn't fork-cross-hatch a hashtag into the tops,
and instead went into the realm of doo-doo glazy icing excellence.
ganache-tops, and two types of two-tone holiday sprankles, to boot.
wordimus prime.
anybody can bake some bullsh!t,
it takes an awareness of what's actually molto fresh to fire up an oven's worth of
warrior poetry in peanuts and butter.
and sure,
i hyped up the edges with some of those star-spangled brown sugar buttersnaps,
but can you really blame me?
i mean, c'mon.
that's some superior staging right there, don't you think?
aw, thanks.
i try to make it interesting for you guys.
i figured if it's time to close out the cookie feast documentation,
then i'd better end with the greatest hit i've got in my catalog-
albie rock bloxxx.
snowy-sugar-star-stenciled original recipe legendary dopeness,
in coconut oatmeal chocolaty chipper circles of sensuality.
i know about decadence,
i know about indulgence,
and i know about cookies.
twenty two years i've been improving my signature sign off,
and here it is,
number eleven,
turned up to eleven,
loud, fresh, hard, (but still chewy),
and ready to rock your mutha-F*ing socks right off.
i don';t have time in my day to waterbabyishly spritz around
wasting precious minutes of creative active participation.
i make moves, and i make them count,
i make cookies, and i make them expert.
i make a mess, and i leave it.
i don't give any sh!ts about that part.
i'm busy over here putting stuffed toys in the frame, y'all.
curating the hot fire,
creating the hot treats,
culminating in a brutal feast of hyperglycemic 'gariousness,
as ferociously as my face can fill itself.
today is a big day,
and tomorrow is even bigger.
i've got things to do,
and then stuff to take care of,
and then matters to attend to,
and lastly, some situations to deal with-
responsible adulthood is underway,
parental obligations are in full effect,
family togetherness is impending,
and there's a few literal last minute errands i've still got to run.
it's non-stop action over here-
all of it, always, and never ever anything less-
too much is the right amount,
and i haven't experienced a lesson in lessening in leap years;
never quiet, never soft.....

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