Saturday, April 7

BANG BANG!!!

what's my favorite sandwich?
the banh mi.
hands down, no contest.
i make, and eat, a LOT of sandwiches,
but the number one jaun i enjoy the most, and most often,
is for sure, and without question, the big action activated banh mi.
that's the truth.
i like it so much, i make one for every single sandwich week.
yup.
huh
well, no, i don't make it the same, of course.
that'd be boring and unremarkable, so i freak it off a bit,
and i turn it up a little, and i get busy with the burliness,
and the spiciness, and the crunchiness,
and then i add a little bit MORE.
mmhmm.
too much is the right amount,
and nothing encourages and celebrates excess like an exceptional banh mi.
you don't agree?
oh. you DO agree!
nice.
check out the latest and greatest, via the day-6-type teleport:

BANG BANGIN' BANG BANG!!
word.
the bread is key.
and the key to the bread is to let it rise as loaves, barely touching,
for most of the bulk-up.
also,
i always add 30% non-dairy milk to the liquid.
it seems to make a difference.
here's the recipe:
-
*
BANH!
-
in your trusty and laudable stand-upright mechanical mixer,
with the dough hook attached, combine:
2 cups bread flour;
1 1/2 tsp salt;
1 pkg active yeast;
1 tsp sugar;
3 T olive oil;
-
pour in, to knead:
2/3 cup hot water;
1/3 cup non-dairy s'milk;
1 T agave;
2 tsp bread machine yeast, bloomed 10 minutes.
-
add more flour if necessary, but beat it up on medium speed for 10 minutes,
and rest it, covered, while your oven preheats to 375℉.
divide the dough into thirds, and roll, tuck, and fold all three into long lovely loaves.
let 'em rise twenty minutes before scoring the tops, and bakling them, barely touching,
for twenty MORE minutes.
if these don't rock you like a hurricane, then it's likely you are unrockable.
real talk.
neighbors,
once they've been split, buttered, and pan toasted, the bread all by itself
is an exxxplosion of hottness you'll be blown away by-
and then, once that's on the table, the real party gets started-
*
the stacks on stacks of flavor and power and glory contained in this thing are expert.
i mean it.
here's a list of all the stuff that coexists on top of the bread:
pea shoots;
pickles;
shredded cucumber;
AVO-F*ING-CADO;
microgreens;
shaved red onion rings;
rice-wine pickled carrot and radish;
mint, basil, cilantro, and jalapeno sprankles;
sriracha;
vegan mayo;
& green dragon sauce!
dudes,
those are just the easy ready to go bits.
that's not even all there is going on on this kaleidoscope of flavor!
-
*
y'ever cold pickle carrots and radishes?
it's so ridiculously easy, you'll wonder why you don't do it more often...
that's half a small orange carrot, and half a small purple carrot, and two red radishes,
slices, julienned, and dunked in a 70/30 rice wine vinegar/water bath,
barely covering them all,
with pink salt and a pinch of sugar added to take the edge off-
let it all sit there, covered, for twenty minutes.
when you open it, if it doesn't have a subtly farty smell, it's not ready.
don't worry, the aroma does NOT carry over, not one little tiny bit.
i'm sure science has a reason for all of that,
but i'm much more interested in putting it in my face.
yup.
and i did, and it was tight and TILTY af.
*
but,
then i also turned it up even MORE.
i did.
i had sourdough baking at 465℉-
rules is rules, and twice a week, i bake breakfast bread, bro.
anyway, afterwards, the oven was still pretty effin' hot, like around four hundo,
so i threw a sweet potato, sliced into discs, gently salted and olive oiled,
into the oven and let 'em get golden on the edges-
then i tossed 'em into a hot pan, and caramelized the whole bunch
with a few tablespoons of sweet and spicy mae ploy SAUCE!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
y'all ain't never ever even had this much boomfire in one spot ever before in your LIFE!!!

C'MON!!!!
that's the big sexxxy comin' correct and in F*ing full effect...
*
y'see that coconut-oil fried exxxtra-crispy tofu?
that's the way really-real kung fu tofu dudes get busy.
no sad squishers for us, buddy.
no way.
...and lemme tell you-
the double dragon sriracha and green sauce tandem twosome
really turns the whole dang thing up to eleven, again.
like, if eleven went to eleven, THIS is how it would happen.
MORE sauce, MORE ingredients,
MORE flavors, MORE pickles and cukes-
this sandwich is THE ONE.
my favorite day of sandwich week is whichever day has banh mi.
-
...and to think that it took an impending divorce,
and hiding out in hawaii with my homeboy, sixxx long years ago,
to introduce me to this super-official ultra-expert sarnie.
looks like somebody definitely has the secret universal plan to thank
for replacing the old and the busted with so much elite new hottness,
up to, and including a whole realm of previously unknown sandwich styles.
i guess it takes a little bit of perspective to really see how much winning
a little loss can invite to the party!
no jokes,
i enjoy a good banh mi much much more than i was ever any good at being married.
awwww, man.
but, i mean,
LOOK:

right?!?
that's all you need.
***********
and now, it's the weekend.
we've got tattoos out the wazoo to do at AMPERSAND TATTOO
all day every day.
...and that's a good thing.
these days and nights,
under a fresh blanket,
and under a fresh blanket of snow,
are great ones.
i mean, it's ALL really happening,
and that's flippin' terrific.
i make the sandwiches. i eat the the sandwiches.
i do the tattoos, i get those movie checks,
and i but the groceries to make MORE sandwiches-
it's all art, and all nourishment, and all precisely the proper path to pursue.
i am grateful for the time i have been given, guys.
there's nothing else besides this moment, each and every moment,
then and now and later, too.
big action, creation, cultivation, communication, consumption,
collaboration, cooperation-
it's all unfolding along the blueprints of a bigger and better picture-
one minute at a time;
never quiet, never soft.....

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