Wednesday, April 18


shoutouts to new england weather, dudes!
a glare ice storm in the morning,
and warm spring mudpuddles by afternoon.
and also, dirty.
and also, so wet.
but, with the sun out before sunset,
i'm led to believe that my tropical inclinations are what did the trick-
i have coconut cake on deck,
and that HAD to be what summoned the ghosts of warm weather out of hiding.
that's probably a thing, i think.
i'm gonna go right on ahead and figure that that's what's up.
i mean,
that's thick, but soft, and light, but rich,
and so moist you'd almost think i was pretending,
but i'm not.
check the teleport:

i love cake, and i make at least one a week.
on the real, a single layer of cake is enough to brighten most days,
lift the majority of spirits,
and activate a little bit of joy for all the girls and boys.
that's no joke.
and i'm the bringer of cakes to the woodsly goodness, guys.
i am.
and the frosting?
of course.
no, not the brown blops, bro.
those are chocolate, of course.
a little cocoa freak'um to freak it off for your face is always a good idea.
and i'm full of good ideas.
yeah, man- those ARE toasted coconut sprankles on top.
rules is rules after all,
and a lot of cakes only hit that level-eleven mark
with a few crinkles, crunkles, or crankles spread over the top.
now, do you want a recipe?
it's pretty much just the same one as the others, but i'll list it out for you anyway-
preheat the oven to 350℉
in your wonderful stand mixer, whip up:
1 stick (8 T) softened vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp coconut extract;
3/4 cup sugar.
into that moosh, whisk in 2/3 cup non-dairy yogurt-
mix well, then add:
2 cups flour;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1 cup fine flake coconut;
1 cup carton-style drinking coconut milk-
whisk until super fluffy,
and spread into a 9" greased cake tin-
you know y'boi steadily employs springforms- this was no exception.
bake it for 33-43 minutes, depending on how good your oven is,
and how golden your cake gets.
mine definitely took longer, but it was perfect, so that's cool.
allow it to gradually decrease in warmth,
and do NOT frost it when it's still got heat radiating-
room temps are the way to go, yo.
4 T vegan butts;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 3/4 cups powdered sugar;
3 T fine-ground unsweetened flake coconut;
1/2 tsp coconut extract;
1/4 cup non-dairy milk.
holy crapola, that's how you make expert coconut frosting!
i had that double-dark chocolate left over in the fridge,
and a little manhandling had it warm enough to spread i did just that.
all that remained was to sprank it real nice with those toasty jauns.
y'gotta sexxx it up, kids.
nobody should have to eat an unsexxxy cake.
that's a thing.
we eat with all our senses, and mine are indulgent af.
no lie.
i need it to be nice, or i'm not interested.
i guess i'm privileged in that sense.
i'm ok with that.
today is the day.
it's a big deal.
we're gonna get a fat F*ing faceful of the mountain goats.
uh huh.
john darnielle is gonna blast us with weirdo angst,
and bathe us in highly lyrical guitar music for smart people.
i can't wait.
this is a big deal.
storytelling is often an indelicate art, despite the need for nuance,
and this evening,
the brutality of bitter truths and acoustic guitars are going to drench us in
subtlety and ham-fisted hammering,
and i'm willing to wager one of us, and i'm not saying who,
will be way out of her element...
i guess only time will tell,
but i'm going into the day with a chest full of hope,
and marginally low expectations.
so here's to ultra-liberal college towns and clever words;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: