Sunday, April 15


mocha buns.
mocha buns.
i made them for you.
i did.
i kneaded and rolled and filled and rolled and baked a whole bunch of them.
just for you.
i dunno where you were, or what was going on, 
but i hooked up a whole cast iron pan's worth,
pretty much to feed a bunch of folks i don't even know...
i had some, though, and they were incredible, so i guess sharing is caring, neighbors-
which is to say: i care a LOT.
y'wanna see what i came up with?
you do?
check the teleport:
thickly packed with that dark dark dark chocolate/coffee, 
a.k.a. magnificent mocha no-joke jumble in the centers.
AND a coffee icing drizzle on top.
too much is the right amount,
and MORE coffee was the right call to make.
the were super delicious, and that's the truth.
here's all you've got to do to make your very own:
preheat the oven to 375℉ convection-style
in a small saucepot, warm up:
1 cup + 3 T non dairy milk;
2 tsp vanilla;
4 T melted vegan butter;
once warm, add 2 tsp bread machine yeast, and let it bloom, about ten minutes.
in your ever-lovin' standup mixer, combine:
1 cup bread flour;
2 cups a.p. flour;
1 tsp salt;
1/4 cup demerara sugar;
1 pkg fast-action yeast.
add the wet and dry and knead 'em up for ten minutes or so.
let that soft shiny doughball rise for fifteen minutes,
and roll it into a big, fat rectangle on a floured surface.
in a mixing bowl, moosh up:
3 T instant coffee;
3 T cocoa;
2/3 cup brown sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp coffee extract.
spread that over MOST of the dough rectangle, 
leaving one long-edge strip exposed about 1".
roll it, tightly, from the opposite end, 
so that the unsugared lip can be moistened for maxxximum adhesion,
and wrap the resultant log in plastic,
and refrigerate it for ten-fifteen minutes.
next up?
cutting it!
line a 10' cast iron pan with parchment.
cut the unwrapped log in half, then those halves in half,
then those quarters into thirds.
twelve spirals read for arrangement.
let '
em rise for another 'nother twenty or so minutes,
and bake those bad babies for 20-30 bubbly crusty goldenizing minutes
in that hot oven.
they should be puffy, and crusty, and oozing black tar hottness up from their cores.
when they've been allowed to cool,
mix yourself up some coffee icing, thiqqq-style.
i had some coffee on hand, and a little powdered sugar, and a pinch of vanilla.
and like always, i stirred all of it until it looked like i wanted it to.
i didn't measure, but i will make this statement:
add less liquid than you think you'll need.
you can add more if you've gotta, but wet icing is the worst, bro.
real talk.
also really real is the idea that providing tailored kindnesses counts for something.
or, at least, it should.
i'm not sayin', but i'm just sayin'-
constant provision becomes expectation,
the same is true of disappointment.
i'm a maker, and that's come to be a tacit accepted fact.
the underappreciation and complete lack of reciprocation that correlates
to the quantity any unnamed recipients receive is, too.
damn, dudes.
i make, i do, i try, and i give.
i wish that was enough, but the feeling of giving is only better than receiving
the first hundred times...
that hundred and first is a real tough one to choke down.
that's dark.
but the truth sure does sound like the truth, doesn't it?
well, fine, 
you just might be right-
maybe being good isn't as memorable as being nice,
even if it's measurably more worthy beyond the face-value. 
i believe that.
and so i try to be good, 
as in- empirically- 
with honest, earnest, truthful effort in all the places and spaces that i occupy,
and i'm pretty hard on myself, in a move to improve myself,
and i'd like to think that i pursue a very steep upward trajectory....
i try hard, work hard, pay close attention, know stuff, learn stuff, and make stuff.
every single day, i genuinely focus on a Positive Metal Attitude.
that doesn't mean i'm happy all the time.
jeez, i doubt that's even possible-
and if i met somebody who was like that, i'd be very suspicious.
i think we'd have to employ an Oblivious Mental Attitude to always be happy.
i'm just a man, doing the best i can.
being positive and being happy aren't the same thing.
in fact, it's been my personal experience that happiness is a very slow-moving state,
whereas positivity maintains that progress is a procedural, methodical process- 
i.e. happiness is like: i'm good. this is good. things are good.
positivity is like: this isn't that bad, and i bet we can make it better.
i'll be ok, even if i'm not right now.
what's broken can be fixed or replaced...
all that's great, but P.M.A. is sort of invisible,
while being nice is sometimes the ONLY thing you've got showing.
of course,
being nice has nothing to do with either happiness or positivity.
i'm sayin',
being nice is great, for sure-
but if you're no good, 
and/or you're prone to negativity at the deeper-than-superficial level
then platitudes and cloying catch-all clauses are kind of empty, 
or sorta dishonest-
now i know that niceties don't cost anything,
and i am absolutely not espousing point-blank rudeness, terseness, or hurtful hate
being hurled simply for the sake of itself-
i'm just saying that while i believe in gratitude and generosity, 
as well as kindness, compassion, and helpfulness,
i do NOT think that pretending to go along with the actions and ideas that 
act against the core of that P.M.A.'s rational best-self-interest is a good idea... 
nor is that an honest one, or a productive move to make.
get it?
saying yes when you mean no is a lie, man.
and that's a fact, even if it isn't nice.
there's a big world inside this small boring town,
but only if you have the mindset to see it.
maybe a solid night's sleep will help?
damned if i know, and damned if i'm likely to find out;
never quiet, never soft.....

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