a lot of my problems can be solved with cookies.
on the ones,
it's very hard to stay mad, sad, tired, or hungry
if you're munching up on the right combination of ingredients.
i know you know, because we relate to each other, right?
so, we're on the same page already when it comes to mood-improvement
through the use of baked goods....
it's necessary, neighbors.
and i do what's necessary because i'm that kind of adult.
cookies make you more grown up?
man, they might.
these molto-mature-tasting jauns certainly had me ready to tackle
voiceless, mirthless, uncomfortably sinusy suckery,
and the very first bite had me feeling sucker-free for hours!!!
check the teleport:
COCONUT, OATMEAL, CHOCOLATE CHIPS!
boom. BOOM. BOOM!
that's a one-two-three knockout, broski.
well, the rhino is NOT there because of extinction awareness-
it's there because of the rhinovirus trying to dissolve my throat, exxxplode my ears,
and forever muffle my larynx...
but, like, yeah, don't kill real rhinos though, you A*-holes, OBVI.
ok. so i mad cookies for the bazillionth time.
look, buddy- i'll stop making them when they stop cheering me up.
these ones have all-new chocolate chips (they're good)
and weird low-fat flaked unsweetened coconut (it's weird, but it tastes the same)
and all the slow rolled oats, too.
y'wanna know how to maybe make a batch from-scratch at your house?
well, wanna or not, here's what you'd do if you did:
preheat the oven to 375℉
in a medium mixing bowl, cream together:
1 cup dark brown sugar;
8T (1 stick) earth balance vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
add 1/2 cup unsweetned applesauce and stir well-
next, toss in:
1 1/4 cups rolled oats;
1 cup a.p. flour;
1 cup weird coconut (health food spots usually have this stuff, if not, use the regular jauns)
1 tsp bakey pow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 T maple syrup;
1/2 cup mini dark dairy-free chocolate chips.
smoosh it all together, separate it into small balls, and pre-flatten 'em just a bit-
space 'em evenly on a couple of cookie sheets, and bake the whole batch for 13 minutes.
just like that, you've got a couple dozen expert vegan joy bombs for your face.
today is another one of those days, dudes.
y'know- the ones where i go to work.
...just like every day.
i have a whole lot of stuff going on-
and after yesterday, when i tattooed my dude nate,
as a show of appreciation for all he does for AMPERSAND TATTOO,
i'm flushed with feelings of creativity-
so let's hope our other other buddy, dylan, is ready to get what's coming.
only time will tell,
and who knows, maybe i'll even post pictures of what we all get into-
it could happen, if what unfolds next is any good;
never (actually still) quiet, never soft.....