Thursday, April 12


whatever, man.
a lot of my problems can be solved with cookies.
that's real.
i mean,
on the ones,
it's very hard to stay mad, sad, tired, or hungry
if you're munching up on the right combination of ingredients.
i know you know, because we relate to each other, right?
so, we're on the same page already when it comes to mood-improvement
through the use of baked goods....
it's necessary, neighbors.
and i do what's necessary because i'm that kind of adult.
cookies make you more grown up?
man, they might.
these molto-mature-tasting jauns certainly had me ready to tackle
voiceless, mirthless, uncomfortably sinusy suckery,
and the very first bite had me feeling sucker-free for hours!!!
check the teleport:

boom. BOOM. BOOM!
that's a one-two-three knockout, broski.
well, the rhino is NOT there because of extinction awareness-
it's there because of the rhinovirus trying to dissolve my throat, exxxplode my ears,
and forever muffle my larynx...
but, like, yeah, don't kill real rhinos though, you A*-holes, OBVI.
ok. so i mad cookies for the bazillionth time.
anybody surprised?
look, buddy- i'll stop making them when they stop cheering me up.
these ones have all-new chocolate chips (they're good)
and weird low-fat flaked unsweetened coconut (it's weird, but it tastes the same)
and all the slow rolled oats, too.
y'wanna know how to maybe make a batch from-scratch at your house?
well, wanna or not, here's what you'd do if you did:
preheat the oven to 375℉
in a medium mixing bowl, cream together:
1 cup dark brown sugar;
8T (1 stick) earth balance vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
add 1/2 cup unsweetned applesauce and stir well-
next, toss in:
1 1/4 cups rolled oats;
1 cup a.p. flour;
1 cup weird coconut (health food spots usually have this stuff, if not, use the regular jauns)
1 tsp bakey pow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 T maple syrup;
1/2 cup mini dark dairy-free chocolate chips.
smoosh it all together, separate it into small balls, and pre-flatten 'em just a bit-
space 'em evenly on a couple of cookie sheets, and bake the whole batch for 13 minutes.
just like that, you've got a couple dozen expert vegan joy bombs for your face.
today is another one of those days, dudes.
y'know- the ones where i go to work.
...just like every day.
i have a whole lot of stuff going on-
and after yesterday, when i tattooed my dude nate,
as a show of appreciation for all he does for AMPERSAND TATTOO,
i'm flushed with feelings of creativity-
so let's hope our other other buddy, dylan, is ready to get what's coming.
only time will tell,
and who knows, maybe i'll even post pictures of what we all get into-
it could happen, if what unfolds next is any good;
never (actually still) quiet, never soft.....

No comments: