Friday, April 6


if buffalo is good,
and it's pretty flippin' good,
then the new hottness that we use over here has to be something else.
i'm just sayin', it's BETTER.
now, it's a distant relative, for sure, with similar traits and components,
but it sure as sht isn't the same.
no way.
because we turn it up to eleven,
and freak it off, and freak it out,
and boost the whole flavor profile way up and over the top,
because too much is the right amount,
and there's no room, nor time,
for effing around with a weak watery babyish b!tch-sap sauce.
that's the truth.
if it isn't buffalo,
then not for nothin', but it's kinda GOT TO be wildebeest, bro.
we're wild'n' out SO hard.
...and before you get at me with the sauce being named after a city-
lemme just say this:
have you ever been to buffalo?
then you'll know that that's not invited, either.
now, do y'all want the recipe for our version again or not?
you do?
but first, check the teleport:

y'all ain't ready for this much boomfire.
the toasted bread was tight af.
the sauces were both righteous.
the cauliflower was soft but firm and richly flavored from the get go.
sandwich week has remained immersed in a tradition of excellence,
and that's the only thing i'm focusing on.
consistent expert activation, between my fresh, hot buns.
ummmmm, yeah.
back to the sauce:

1/4 cup vegenaise;
1/4 cup frank's red hot;
2 T sriracha;
1 T nootch;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
1 tsp hot paprika;
1/2 tsp smoked paprika.
stirred and blended, rested and allowed to marry together in homogeneous hottness.
i pan seared two cups of cut up cauliflower,
until it charred a bit on the bottoms,
and then i tossed it in the sauce, and baked it for fifteen at 375℉.
the remaining sauce got a tablespoon of pickle brine,
and i poured all of that on top of the cauliflower, and baked it for five more.
what's that? how DEEP is the flavor?
mariana trench deep, neighbors.
it's too frickin' good.
which is another way of sayin' it's just right.
look again:

F* YES!!!
and then there's also slivered celery,
and red and green shredded cabbage, with pruple carrot, sated, peppered,
and tossed with a small spoonful of vegenaise, for a turbo-crawnchy slaw.
and red onion is ALWAYS invited to buffalo town.
but were there any sprankles?
rules is rules.
...and it's not like i'm some half-stepper, man.
cilantro sprigs did the job with efficacy.
the buns were homemade, of course.
that's a two-parter-
one- homemade tastes better.
two- good bread makes better people.
real talk.
the recipe is right here:
in your stand mixer, with the dough hook on, knead up:
2+ cups flour ( 1 cup bread flour, 1 cup a.p.);
11/2 tsp salt;
1 pkg (1 T) active dry yeast;
3 T olive oil;
>1 cup warm water, 1 T agave, 2 tsp bread machine (jarred) yeast, bloomed together.
give it a full ten minute knead, rest it for fifteen,
punch it down, divide it, shape up four fat buns,
and let them rise for another 'nother 15-20 minutes.
bake those bad babies for twenty, until they're golden like gates,
and let 'em cool before splitting, buttering, toasting, or whatever....
that's what you want, and that's how you get it.
the only thing missing from the perfect sandwich is a second sauce,
and what do we do when we do the buff'beest on a bun?
that's riiiiiiiight.
RANCH, y'muh-fuhhhhhh.
for just a lil baby bit, make it like this:
3 T vegenaise;
1 tsp nootch;
1 clove crushed garlic;
2 tsp lemon juice;
black pepper, GPOP, parsley, and dill, to taste.
...and that's IT.
how much better does that make the thing?
it's perfect.
like, perfectamundo.
like, your head might hurt with withdrawals afterwards,
because you won't be able to get enough in your mouth for long enough to satisfy
the blissful blossoming of good vibes and well-wishes that sprout
from each and every bite of this mountain of tasty textural triumphant treats!
...and when you add in a pickle, and some exxxtra ranchy drippy dippin' sauce,
and a handful of sea salt and vinegar chips???
everything expert is spreading like good news for that plate out into the universe.
...and that's not hyperbole.
sandwich week is a damned good time.
that's the truth.
i was a little baby bit bummed to buff it up alone last night, if we're being honest.
i persevered and i powered down both big burly buffalo bunfuls.
if for no other reason than that's what i DO, dudes.
eating my feelings and filling in the blanks with the best wildebeestly
big action i could conjure.
i'm not ashamed.
in fact, if anything, i think i did it right.
nourishing myself, by myself, has got to be good for me.
it's ALL really happening,
and it keeps on happening,
and it's only day 6 out of 8 of this fantastic voyage into bread and things.
i am grateful to be able to indulge in invented holidays,
i am disappointed that none of my people have hopped on board with me,
but i s'pose we can't ALL be eight day sarnians, can we?
i'll do my part, and i hope you're enjoying the journey as much as i am;
never quiet, never soft.....

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