Sunday, April 1


the first of the month!
wake up wake wake up!!!
to get up get get up cash yo' checks and GET UP!!!
today is the day.
the first one of the new page on the calendar.
and you know i said the magic words, first spout out of my mouth:
rabbit! rabbit!
heck yes.
rules is rules, and we say the thing that cultivates coincidences
and ferments and foments good fortune through mindful focus
on follow-through and spirit and memory.
if you remember to remember, you're one step ahead of the game, kiddo.
today is something else, too-
F* yes, and i'm so excited about it.
it's a sunday.
it's the first of the month.
...and THAT means something very important here in the
darkened predawn halls of this Folk Life & Liberty Fortress-
it's time once again to activate an exxplosive, mean-mutha-b!tchin',
mama-jammi', mo-fuggin', molto expert hot and fiery eight-day festival
of fresh, pretty, hot and tasty delights between bread, bro-
that's riiiiIIIght,
it's sandwich week!!!!
wordimus prime.
that's another 'nother rule around here.
y'all go ahead and get weird with cellophane 'grass'-
that's your own bunny's butt-nasty creme egg craptacular problem-
see, we're not with that.
in our sunny sunday forecast, there's a 100% chance of sandwiches,
so we're gonna climb all aboard the 'guini train express,
and run away with juggernautical abandon.
that's the truth.
oh, i'll have a bonnet on, bro, don't you worry about that-
i'm not anti-springtime flavor, i'm just not really diggin' on easter this year...
AMPERSAND TATTOO is closed today.
that's not a joke.
what IS april foolish, however,
is the all-vegan super-pizza exxxplosion we're having at my girl's family's place.
that's real.
bbq seitan.
buffalo cauliflower.
potato and brussels and caramelized onions.
all the greatest hits, back to back to back,
in a row,
for a whole roomful of non-vegans.
i feel like the challenge is set,
now all there is left is to execute it like a worthy warrior poet.
i doubt i'll be winning hearts and minds,
but if i can satisfy and surprise, i'll consider it a win.
pizzas on easter?!
not sandwiches???
miss me with the scorn.
it's april fools day,
and that is the loophole deluxxe, if ever there was gonna be one-
i'm ready,
three different doughs and and four F*ing sauces later,
i'll be there with seitan and sausages and all the skills, harm, poise,
and practiced preparations to see it through.
that's the way to do what needs doing.
it's part of being a partner.
unlike leaving for six days with seventy-two hours notice.
that's how some other people think it works.
(they're wrong, btw)
i won't point any fingers,
but i WILL say this:
i'm going to have the house to myself for a week, starting thursday.
yeah, yeah, i know.
but that just means you and i get to enjoy half a sandwich week a little MORE,
and maybe even together.
that's pretty neat, isn't it?
either way, it's all really happening,
and that's gonna have to do the trick;
never quiet, never soft.....

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