Tuesday, April 17

MORE COFFEE!

y'all may already know this,
or you may not-
i am sensitive.
yup.
huh?
no....not fragile; sensitive.
like, the slightest little baby bit of stimulant,
and i'm positively off-the-charts with frantic frenetic kinetic force,
and i'm essentially vibrating in my boots even when standing still.
which means coffee is usually a pretty bad choice.
for realsies.
even a couple sips of a fully caffeinated cuppa,
and i'm GONE.
i already have naturally elevated levels of energy,
a big ol' backup battery of salty assaulting battery is charged to the limits
inside my chest,
and the power surge provided by coffee can send me up and out and over the top.
i used to eff with it pretty seriously,
and as a result, i think it modified my already abrasive tendencies into uncountably
inaccessible unaccountable berserker battle-beastly wrecking ball-breaking,
and NObody was pleased.
so,
i made a choice to really rein in the foolish folly of full-brewed indulgence,
and save the occasional decaf,
i abstain in order to remain aware and conscientious about my actions.
dudes,
i'm talking about coffee like reformed pirates referred to rum
way back in the days of crown-sanctioned privateering.
that's some sh!t, huh?
well, it's a true story.
-
HOWEVER,
i allow for a little bit of leeway when it comes to baked goods containing the essence
of that magical roasted bean, bro.
yeah.
i know, that's a loophole in the rules, but,
i mean, i doo-doo that freaky sh!t, and i do SO love a tasty coffee treat.
which brings us to the second coffee'd baked greatness in a week.
word up.
check the teleport:

WHITE CHOCOLATE COFFEE COOKIES!!!!!
damn, neighbors-
these jauns have got the magic deep within, and all throughout 'em.
and then,
they also have coffee icing!
too much is the right amount, what can i say?
what did i do to create such tasty bits?
oh, don't woryy-
i'll tell you, straightaway:
-
*
COFFEE CHIPPERS!
-
preheat the oven to 375℉
-
in a medium mixing bowl, cream together:
3/4 cup dark brown sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 stic (8T) vegan butter;
1 1/2 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp coffee extract;
3 T instant coffee ( i used decaf, because i'm not suicidal).
thoroughly combine, and add:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce-
next, stir in:
2 1/3 cups a.p. flour;
1 tsp bakey pow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1/2 cup vegan white chocolate chips;
1-2 MORE tablespoons instantaneous coffee dust...
-
knead it, roll it into balls (two and a half dozen's worth),
arrange and semi-flatten them on a couple of cookie sheets,
and bake them up for 13 minutes.
-
seriously, that's it.
you're the official lord of cookieville, just like that.
i'm just sayin',
you can make this move and still have time to eff off with whatever and
however you want.
expert.
the icing is 1/2 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp coffee extract;
and coffee, 1-2 T roughly, depending on how thick you like your drizzles.
on the ones, you can look hella pro with minimal actions,
and be the coffee-flavored hero of the day.
you can even use real coffee,
or ground up espresso beans, even, to make 'em legit.
i went easy, like i said, and nobody was worse off for it.
***********
shoutouts to this mid april ICE STORM.
a.k.a. super bum-bum bummer city.
what does that even mean?
ummmm,
have you never had an ice storm, kid?
it means we have appointment cancellations,
we have power outages,
we have treacherous road conditions.
yuck.
all of that is currently the reality of woodsly goodness.
and in the midst,
there's still a whole lotta hillside that needs climbing with crabtree,
and a ton of scraping off on most outdoor surfaces,.
who knows?
it might warm up and rid us of this slick glare bullsh!t,
or it could get even colder,
and make what's already melted into something even worse.
i'm ready for whatever comes next,
and i'm braced for impact should it careen, carom, or slide out
from under my bearings, and become untenable and unbearable.
new england is kind of an A-hole, man.
if you can't hang out with adaptability, you don't get it anyway.
without the bitter, the sweet's not as sweet.
a study in contrast is more remarkable than perpetual nicey-nicey always-samesies;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: