Tuesday, April 10


i needed a treat!
i've been so deeply immersed in sandwiches that i skipped out on treats all week.
i figured it was probably for the best, since my bread game was off the wall,
and the sammies were really requiring molto focus-
i know, i must be getting old, right?
taking time to concentrate on important (to me) matters,
and letting the sweets take a backseat for a bit....
that's what happens when responsible adulthood, and home-aloneliness work in conjunction
to commandeer all the 'free' time away from the workplace.
i've heard some people take days off to get things done-
in fact, i sorta remember doing that back in the day-
again, though- my recollections get hazy due to the demands on my mind.
seems my age is starting to take a toll on my previously impeccable total recall, too.
i'm not that old.
i just took it easy on sugar, man.
that stuff doesn't help a cold, does it?
i doubt it.
so, it wasn't until my voice left the body completely that i figured: F* it.
you can have less than NO VOICE, so let's get into some cake, neighbors.
check the teleport:

that's me.
i know two people who celebrated berfdays yesterday.
no. neither of them was anywhere nearby.
that's not the point.
the point is that i wasn't about to let the day go to waste,
especially with the knowledge of berfy times aplenty unfolding elsewhere.
i mean,
i don't have to be invited to your berfday party to enjoy a berfday cake.
that's a fact.
so i made one.

that's a hippo on top, for my buddy shawn,
who i've had the pleasure of knowing for close to 17 years now.
that's a span of time, huh?
...yeah. tell me about it.
the cake itself is just a single layer of vanilla love.
after all, nobody was around to blow out cabdles and have big fun with me,.
so i didn't need to impress anybody but myself-
and all i needed was some expert frosting, really.
and i had that, too.
you want a recipe?
preheat your oven to 350℉
in your mandatory stand mixer, with the wire whisk attached,
cream up:
>1 cup sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 stick (8T) vegan butts, softened;
1 tsp vanilla;
5 oz vanilla non-dairy yogurt.
-get that all sloppy,
then add:
2 1/3 cups flour;
1/4 cup tapioca starch;
2 tsp bakey powder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 cup non-dairy milk,
and whisk it for all you're worth, until it's a smooth, airy, wet mess-
add it to a greased 9" springform
(my personal favorite single layer baking pan)
and bake it for 35-40 minutes, or until a cake tester is clean upon removal.
cool it off before you frost it, or you'll have a real bummer on your hands, man.
trust me.
the frosting is the real star of the show, after all,
and we wouldn't want t step on her lines, would we?
no way.
in the mixer, again, y'gotta whip the sh!t outta all this:
1 stick vegan butters;
1 tsp vanilla;
3 cups powpow sugar;
1/3 cup cocoa;
1/3 cup non-dairy s'milk-
make it fluffy af, bro.
and spread a fat layer up atop that cake-piece-
there should be more than half a batch left in the mixer, still-
add MORE cocoa, and some dark chocolate shavin's up in there,
and booom boom REMIXXX that sh!t-
too much is the right amount,
and all the swirls need even MORE chocolate hottness in there.
do it.
it's good for you.
well, OBVI-
shaved chocolate bar sprankles are a must.
i mean, you already know, yo-
rules is rules.
this jaun is MOIST, and super-sweet,
and pretty much as basic a cake as i'm liable to ever make.
they say that when you turn thirty,
barring a great windfall of good fortune, or a catastrophic tragedy,
the person you are at that point is most likely who you're going to remain as.
i had vast swaths of post-thirty time wherein tracts and troughs of unexpected instances
composed of BOTH exxxtremes occurred.
i guess that's good news.
because now,
i've got the opportunity to be who i want to, instead of who/how/what i was-
i may not be celebrating berfdays with anybody these days,
but i'm celebrating that flux and flow of time, passing and expanding across
the expanse of spirit and memory.
there's nothing like a good cake to stimulate the sentiments, man.
i am grateful for all that's come to pass.
sure, i'll complain about iot, loud and hard and at length,
but maybe pay closer attention to what i'm doing,
and not just to what i'm saying-
and that wall of griping and griping noise is the equivalent to
papering the windows of a secret project.
there's plenty going on,
and a little cake is the least littlest babiest tippy-tip of it;
never quiet,  never soft.....

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