Monday, April 2


it's here!
sandwich week is now officially underway!!
i love 'em. those sarnies, those sangwiches, those sammies.
love. love. love.
and for easter morning times,
i made some seriously expert brekkie jauns,
and they resurrected my faith in big breakfast hottness.
i'm serious.
check the teleport:

that's a waffle omelette seitan sausage hash brown stacker,
and it's so F*ing dope.
real talk, everything was perfect-
the waffles were crunchy on the outside, and soft on the inside.
the sausage was juicy and spicy and maple-y.
the tofu omelette was firm and flavorful.
the hashbrowns had all the crispy bits.....
i was surprised by myself, neighbors-
it all came together with minimal aggravation,
and all while homemade sauces were being concocted,
and triple treats were being stirred up,
and doughs were getting kneaded.
we had full counter tops, stocked with stuff being prepared all morning long-
but, we had to stop, drop, and open up shop on these wafflers-
the savory sexxxiness was too powerful to just munch up on the move.
i'm for realsies right now.
look closer:

THAT'S how you make moves on sandwich week's debut, bro.
you want the whole list?
we'll start with the waffles-
in a mixing bowl, combine:
1+ cup flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
2 T sugar;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
2 T vegan sour cream;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
1 cup + non-dairy milk.
stir gently, but thoroughly, and rest in the fridge one hour-
thin it up if necessary, and get ready to pour it out, buddy.
get your trusty mini-waffle maker out, and heat it up.
then, and here's where we get crazy- add batter to the iron, and let it cook.
i knowww, right?
i had my oven on at 375 for treats,
and i used it to keep the waffles warm and crispy,
but also to bake up those scrambo circles, too.
word up-
in your food processor, combine:
1/2 block drained firm tofu;
black salt;
heavy shakes of GPOP;
turmeric, black pepper, smoked paprika;
2 tsp hemp hearts;
2 T chick pea flour;
2 tsp egg replacer powder;
pulse all of that,scraping down the sides, until it's pureed.
1/4 small diced red onion;
1/4 block firm drained tofu, crOmbled;
1/2 tsp chia/flax meal.
stir it all up,
and drop it evenly into 3 lightly greased 3" tins,
and bake them until the tops brown slightly.
you just made something amazing, and it's all for you!!
y'know what goes great with eggless ommies?
hash brownzzz, b.
grate two medium-small red potatoes and one average-sized purple carrot,
and drain them, salted, in a colander, with mandoline-shredded paper-thin red onion.
squeeze 'em out, and get as much moisture out as you can,
before you pan fry those puppies in hot oil on a hot pan,
maybe even in a 3" round cookie cutter/part-time hashbrown mold.
how tight is THAT?
it's just those few things, and a flip or two when it browns enough to fuse together.
of course, the real superstar is that sausage.
breakfast sausages are what's poppin'.
kayla said she loves 'em,
so what was i gonna do?
NOT make 'em?
c'mon, kid.
what do you think i am?
some kind of an A*-hole?
no way.
i figured it out, and i'll pass it along to you-
in a medium mixing bowl, combine:
1/2 cup wheat gluten;
2 T tapioca starch;
2 T garbanzo bean flour;
1 tsp ea Garlic Powder Onion Powder;
1 1/2 tsp smoked paprika;
>1/2 tsp ea. parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, basil, ground mustard, black pepper;
1 tsp crushed fennel seed;
2 tsp nootch;
1 T brown sugar;
1/3 cup broth;
1 shake-a-shake liquid smoke;
1 tsp soy sauce;
1/2 tsp maple extract;
1 tsp olive oil;
kneaded for five or so minutes into a tight lil ball;
rested a room temp for another ten minutes;
sliced into patties, and simmered in a medium sauce pot full of broth,
maple syrup and extract, and liquid smoke....
for maybe thirty minutes, until they get all fat and plump and thick and sh!t...
that takes being expert to eleven, my man.
no question, this was a winner.
i made the sausages the day prior, in anticipation of the week's festivities.
i've got regular tubular sausages, too.
and straightforward seitan, as well.
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t in advance, because i like to be readily ready to rock.
that's simply smart planning.
oh, and the whole sandwich is glazed with real new hampshire maple syrup.
rule is rules, even if the waffles are part of a larger project.
the lil green sproutsies were a nice touch, too.
i could eat that every day, but i won't because there's still seven more lucky days of
sandwiches to enjoy,
so there's no reason to get caught up and dwell on just one of many.
too much is the right amount,
and we're coming correct on sandwiches all F*ing week.
i hope you're in the celebratin' spirit, because i want everybody everywhere
to start munchin' up on sammers right NOW.
it's all really happening,
and what's happening is all good stuff.
we're going to see sylvan esso in portland, tonight.
i'm serious.
a live music experience, near other humans, out of town.
that's what's in store for us.
i guess i think that shared experiences build stronger bonds or something.
i'd prefer to just share meals and ideas,
but young people these days need interactive spectator audience connectivity.
it'll be good. or it won't. no big deal.
we'll be spanning time cooperatively, and that's all i need...
well, that and MORE sandwiches;
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

Beznarf27 said...

Amazing breakfast sandwiches. Thank you for posting this awesome combo :)