Thursday, June 28


the whole day was grey.
the whole flippin' day.
grey, overcast under blankets of clouds,
and hot.
hot and grey and smothering.
that's lame, dudes.
and complaining about the weather is pointless, yet, somehow,
it seemed appropriate for the situation.
fugue, fog, and 'fustication were the prime movers of the day.
and that suited me fine, for the most part.
while i rolled in and out of my semi-conscious sleep-deprived haze,
i kept casting out and about across a future i can't predict,
and fortunes i can't foresee,
with hard styles and heartbreaks i can't forestall,
and returning to the same actually-solvable dilemma every time-
what's for dinner?
and i know that if i can just figure that out,
the rest will all start to fill in around the solid foundation of sustenance and stability.
i count on it.
i live by it.
and while that's weirder than casting bones and reading signs,
i still get to have dinner whe i'm done,
so who's to say my way is any worse, right?
the day was grey,
and the solution was to go to an even darker place,
and go there all by myself.
black rice ramen, neighbors.
that's the darkness.

here's the important part:
real life ramen broth takes FORevERRR...
and i don't have forever just for a bowl of soup.
homemade tastes better, for sure.
and my broth was homemade, but i used a little spoonful of bouillion to do it.
you can hate me if you want,
but i had some phenomenally expert soup already, so maybe hear me out first,
and pass judgement later?
i had a cup and a half of hot water,
and 2 tablespoons of tamari AND rice vinegar added in.
a teaspoon of better'n'bouillon base,
and a heavy shake of both Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, too/.
i added craxxx of black pepper, and sriracha flakes,
three cloves of sliced garlic, and 1/2 knob, skin-on and organic, of sliced ginger, too.
pretty simple.
a glug of sesame oil added bigger, better body to it,
and a FAT handful of baby spinach turned it all the way up.
and i brought it to a hard boil first,
and turned down to a simmer while everything else got prepared.
i don;t want bad soup.
i don't want overcooked broccoli.
i don't want slimy mushrooms.
i have standards, kids.
baby bellas, seared in sesame oil, until brown and firm,
shallot sauteed in the same oil,
and broccoli, tossed in, with a splash of water, lidded,
and steamed util the greens were more vibrant, and the florets fell apart at first bite.
seriously, i see people listing times for vegetable cooking.
just F*ing look at 'em, man.
be present, pay attention, check in on 'em from time to time.
that's called active participation, man.
also, i don't know how long i was doing anything for, and i may be justifying that.
who knows?
really, though, i boiled the ramen in a separate pot, because i don't mind doing dishes,
and rinsed it before adding it to the broth.
y'like the pea shoots and the purple carrots in there?
me too!!
and the cilantro and sesame sossamons really sprankled it to eleven.
exxxxtras are exxxcellent.......that's a thing.
that's pretty straightforward, huh?
exhausted delirium will do that to you.
i blacked out after a clammy, cloudy dog walk,
and woke up alarmed, not knowing where the heck i even was.
...and when i climbed into bed?
i was overwhelmed instantly by comfort.
i hadn't slept in the big fluffy fresh-to-death bed in forever.
...and it was SO nice.
the cocoon of covering blankets, the sound of rain on the metal roof,
the smell of happiness....
if a bowl of ramen sent me into soporific senselessness that hard,
i may just have to have another 'nother bowl tonight!
today, we're underwater,
but i feel like i'm floating on air.
i slept. a lot.
i woke up ready for anything.
today is the day,
just like every day, but maybe a little bit more than normal.
and while the skies are crying onto us in buckets,
my eyes are wide open, but, not tooooo wide open.
i guess i have one of THOSE faces.
not good, but, also, not benign.
the honey-cinnamon-maple syrup sweetness of their color
doesn't do sh!t to mitigate the crazy-glare they get whenever i get excited.
and i'm super excited, so that's just how we're lookin';
never quiet, never soft.....

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