making dinner every night,
and making it all fancy and sh!t,
just for your own damned self,
is kinda nice.
also, it's kind of a bummer.
yeah, for sure, i should treat myself well, and indulge in these beautiful,
nourishing, satisfying and visually molto sexxxy meals-
sharing those moments has proven to be much more enjoyable;
...even though i only get to munch up a portion, rather than the whole.
i still get deep into the dopeness, and i still immerse myself in the process
of creation and crafty craftsmanship, i'm just sayin'-
it's weird that i'm home alone making food y'all only eat with your eyes.
that's what i do, that's what you do, that'show it goes.
i was feeling especially inventive and attentive,
so i went in hard on the multi-tiered complicated procedures,
just so i could have something especially expert for my fat F*ing face.
check the tortelloni-type teleport:
THESE JAUNS ARE BIG AF!
y'got your sweet potato soupy stuff;
y'got your semolina pasta pockets;
y'got your brussies browned up;
really, you're all set if you're set up with this sort of stuff....
and i was, and i am, and that's IT.
it all starts with homemade pasta dough-
and that's so easy, you'll give yourself a little kick for not making some sooner-
in your stand mixer, combine, and knead:
1 cup semolina flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup a.p. flour;
3 T olive oil;
2/3 cup warm water.
- use your dough hook, beat it up for ten minutes or so,
wrap it and rest it, and get all the other other stuff ready,
before rolling the dough out on a well floured surface,
into as many 3" circles as you think you'll need to satisfy your hunger, holmes.
i made 16, and i was full as heck, but still have enough dough for 16 MORE.
maybe tonight's the night? or maybe it's thai thursday, bro.
who knows? anything could happen.
i made some pretty tight filling for these F*ers, too:
that's a cup of beans- it doesn't matter what kind-
i had small red kidney-style dudes left from taco time, so i just used those-
plus a shallot, a fat clove of crushed garlic,
and two man-hand-sized fistfuls of arugula,
all wilted up and sauteed in olive oil, with lemon juice and black pepper.
what size pan? i dunno, kid- a medium one?
use your judgement, you've almost certainly cooked before-
what you end up with is a burly batch of caramelized hottness, soft, sharp greenery,
and heavy-duty toothsome textural manliness for your mouth.
is it fast and fresh to death? yes!
how about powerfully flavorful? of course!
ok. but is it perfect for pouching up?
don't be dumb, duder- it was a match made in heaven.
i'm lucky that my intuition is on point when it's time to get it poppin'
in this Folk Life & Liberty Fortress test kitchen laboratory.
that's no joke.
in most other situations, my first through fourth instincts are pretty terrible,
so at least at dinnertime, even when i'm flying solo, (which is basically always)
i know that what i'm stirring up is gonna be diabolically decadent,
and that's good news for people who love good food.
y'know- people like us, man.
a spoonful in the center of those semolina circles, a pinch, a flip, and squeeze,
and a little time to settle down,
while a big ol' pot of salty water reached a roiling rolling boil
how about those brussels, bro?
that's halves in a drop of olive, and a splash of water,
fried up to a golden sin on the cut side on high heat,
and glazed with a teaspoon of tamari when they're soft and green on the shell side.
that's it....so simple, but essential to activating the bigger picture.
smoky sweet potato soup?
i guess that's what's up.
i'mean, c'mon- what else would i wanna drop my torties into?
i had two cups of vegetable broth;
1 tsp ea Garlic Powder Onion Powder;
1 T nootch;
1/2 a large sweet potato, skin on, cubed up, and orange as heck;
1/4 red onion;
1/2 tsp sage & thyme;
a dash of oregano;
a splash of white wine vinegar;
and a tablespoon of smoked paprika.
simmered until those sweet potatoes are soft,
then puree the sh!t out of it.
i used my trusty stick mixer, a.k.a immersion blender,
but a blender or food processor would've been just as good.
the important part is to make it smooth,
so it spoons up exxxtra nice with a fat-butt tortie.
y'gotta put it all together so it looks all kinds of nicey-nice-
that meant MORE arugula,
AND fire-roasted tomato flake sprankles,
AND toasted sunflower seed sprankles...
too much is the right amount, neighbors...
and if you aren't going hard on those exxxtras, you aren't doing it right.
i ate it all myself.
that was awesome.
i ate it all myself.
that was a little sad.
i ate it all myself.
that was NOT the only option, but it was the one i chose.
everything is always MORE and less with me.
y'ever meet somebody so attractive that they make you want to exercise more?
no? yes? maybe?
i'm telling you- it isn't every day that that happens,
and it usually isn't something that matters in practical application.
but, sometimes, though, it DOES happen; and when that is a thing?
an acre of sweet potatoes and tortelloni are the site-specific opposite
of what i think is the best course of action-
they're SO good, they offset the fear of physical loneliness until the bowl is empty,
and the bellyhole is so F*ing full-
there's just a short bout of regret once they're all stashed safely away inside my body-
because once they're IN there, there's no point in worrying anymore-
what's done is done, and what's next has to be smarter....
for me, being old and busted has always motivated me to be more productive,
more capable, and competently communicative-
i play to my strengths, none of which are located on my hairline or my waistline-
as summertime hovers around the periphery of these forty-something degree temperatures?
this june has given us all a little exxxtra time to maybe look less like a pod of whales,
and more like hominids, no matter how homely...
i'm not getting naked in font of anybody any time soon,
so hopefully between now and that undetermined far-off date,
i can make a few adjustments to my daily routine,
and shape up into something slightly more desirable than what i'm currently representing.
and if not,
i know there will be plenty of expert dinnertime troughs set up to sooth and salve my
that's a win-win scenario.
the more repellent i get, the less of this amazing food i have to share;
OR, the more i share the more tolerable i may become;
never quiet, never soft.....