Wednesday, August 9

BERRIED ALIVE!!

i did it one more m'F*ing time-
uh-huh.
the color-scheme scheme.
yeah.
i apologize for my orchestrations.
the thing is-
i'm a sucker for coordination.
...and i already had everything necessary to make it happen,
which was the deciding factor, honestly.
i wasn't even planning on preparing anything for the morning,
but i knew i needed to administer some especially speical tlc to my dog in the evening.
and that's a whole other thing-
but let it be known that the fading light of late summer,
the heavy cloudcover of recent days,
and the downright chilly temperatures anywhere not under the direct sunlight
all make for a semi-miserable downtown dog walk.
and since time is of the essence. lest we become night creepers,
a dinnertime deluxxxe was just not feasible within the time constraints.
but,
i couldn't do NOTHIN', neighbors.
no way.
treats are important.
and rules is rules.
so,
i rummaged around for a minute and found some odds, a few ends,
and the remainder of the fruity frostings from earlier...
that's more than enough to get it poppin'.
freeze-dried berries are what make the insides awesome,
and also what make the frosting so fresh-to-death.
true story.
y'wanna see what i made?
you do?
ok.
here:

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES.
really, they could be biscuits, and not in the british sense,
(which is to say cookies).
they went together in a jif,
and they went down the hatch in one smooth motion.
guys,
cookies are a winner.
eating cookies is a win.
and we are the champions, my friends.
that's a thing.
would you like to attempt these from the comfort of your own home?
i know i would.
ha.
here's the info, bro:
-
*
BERRY BISCOTIOS!
-
preheat your oven to 365℉.
-
in a medium mixing bowl,
smash together:
1 cup sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 stick (8T) plant-based butter;
2 tsp vanilla.
then thoroughly whisk in
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt.
add:
2 1/2 cups flour;
1 1/2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 cup freeze dried strawberry slices, and dust and bits;
1/2 cup freeze-dried raspberry crumbles;
1/2 cup miniature dark chocolate chips;
-
knead that into one bog blarpity blop,
hand-flatten it on a well-floured surface, about 1/2 " thick,
and cut yourself some circles.
any size will work. i went big, because i like a lot of cookie at once.
that's my style-
bake them for 15 minutes or so,
and allow them to cool, after the first 5 out of the oven, on a wire rack.
from there,
there's frosting.
and powdered sugar sprankles.
and napkins that look like they were made for this.
and cookies that were made for this.
and you, and me, and us, and them-
except, they can't have any, ok?
word.
this i OUR thing, and that's a good thing.
***********
there's your cookie recipe.
here's the rest of the story-
i'm too busy,
and i don't have much more time to tell you about it.
maybe someday, there will be another extra minute to elaborate,
but that's not today.
because today is the day where i run around all day doing terribly tedious tasks,
from now until i'm asleep.
it's all really happening,
and it's all a necessary burden to haul.
they say we get stronger the more we carry on our shoulders.
you'd think i could translate a little of that metaphysical muscle tone over into real life.
nope.
it's all just skin and bones and biscuits for me;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: