OATCAKES!!!

damn, dudes.
the big B!
that's what's up.
'cakes, and scrambo, and 'tatoes, and stuff!!!
oh MAN!
i don't always stuff my face full of fattie boombattie freshness,
but when i do it,
i take it to eleven, and then i add some sprankles.
word.
check the teleport:

most. important. meal.
cinnamon oatmeal manjacks, with a bit of coconut?
expert!
like,
so thiccc, you'd swear they were meant to dance in a rap video.
boom.
-
*
OATCAKES!
-
in just one bowl, mix together:
1/2 cup flour;
1/2 cup mixed oat flour & fresh ground unsweetened dry coconut meal;
1/2 cup whole rolled oats;
3 T oatbran;
a handful of coconut;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup non-dairy yogurt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp cinnamon;
1/4 tsp nutmeg;
3 T melted butterish;
3 T brown sugar;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
whip it, rest it, pour it, flip it, eat it.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!!
and you'd better be using real maple syrup, or you're a chump.
yeah yeah, agave blah blah blah.
enjoy your low-glycemic second place stuff.
new englanders know the truth.
it's real, it's dark, and it';s thick, or it's bullsh!t.
that's a thing.
*
...and how 'bout that scrambo?
with the blackened fried tomatoes??
rules is rules, neighbors-
and it's been clearly stated that the tomatoes are essential
to maintaining vegetable integrity
in any worth-a-sh!t scram-'fu!
mmmmmmm.
i might've gone a bit heavy on the smoked paprika,
but the GPOP and nootch and black pepper,
and the minced fresh onion,
all compensated for a really rich batch of crumbly goodness.
and of course, there's parsley and scallion garnish, because that's just how it's done.
obvi.
-
BUT HOW ABOUT THOSE HASHERS, BRO??
mmmhmmmmm.
prefect circles of tuberous rooted vegetable hottness,
with paper-thin onion entwined throughout,
pan fried to the crispiest crawnchiness on both sides!!!
you have to salt and rest and squeeze to drain 'em.
that's for serious, or else you get soggy sh!t-salad suckbombs instead.
and nobody good likes that.
not one teentsy tiny little bit.
uh-huh.
damn.
hash browns are just too damned good.
which is to say: they're perfect.
because too much is the right amount,
and that's no joke
***********
......i LOVE breakfast.
i love it so much that i don't always eat it like this.
that way, i still get the big feels from the big B,
and that's something that makes me so super happy i can't even stand it.
ANYbody can enjoy breakfast,
but it's only the realest of morning glories
who bask in the beaming glow of this much goodness.
i mean, c'mon-
AVOCADO!?
shoutouts to white girls, for sure.
and that weird bacon? i still effs with that.
i'm not sorry.
*
after breakfast,
it's been on and on and on the final stages of construction.
and the superfancy unnecessary activation has not been for naught.
it's dope, and i'm biased, but i'm also not wrong-
hmmm?
well, sure,
i could've only used one color of paint,
and one kind of trim,
and simple but elegant stylistic accents to show off my aesthetic......
but that is nowhere nearly as expert as an incredible color-coordinated
supersaturated sexxx-exxxplosion of awesomeness,
and why have pone budget trim when a three tier top is OBVI where the new hottness resides.
wu-effing-TANG, kids.
if y'all aren't getting it poppin' with the big B,
and then some busy big business big action activation,
the what the F* are you even bothering to leave the house for?
i mean it.
i don't like running around all over town acquiring flair and accentuations,
but the alternative is to be ordinary,
and tha's not any kind of option i'm amenable to.
it's ALL really happening,
and too much is the right amount-
especially when it's your name on the line;
never quiet, never soft.....