BUHNAYNAYNUNU!!

short on time, but long on big bananas?
just make a bunch of baby banana bread muffins!!!
how soft were they?
the softest!
how rich were they?
daddy fatsaxxx staxonstax warbuxxx rich!!
how banana-y? monkeysh!t-packed!!
and what about that inetrior, with ALL the coconut, and twice the oats,
and those toasted coconut sprankles on top??
c'mon.
don't be dumb, neighbors-
the whole flippin' big picture was a masterstroke of baked-up genius.
and that's not hubris, that's simply the accurate real-life documentation
of all my tastebuds' true life recounting of each and every bite.
word up.
just look at 'em:

WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THAT?!
and they go down smooooooooooooth, kids.
like, easy easy, and you'd better have self-control,
or you'll suck down half a dozen in three bites apiece in rapidfire quick succession.
trust me on that.
you need this buhnaynay business in your daily big action, bro.
i mean it.
get on it, or get lost...
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*
BANANA COCONUT OATMEAL BABIES!!
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preheat your oven to 365℉.
-
in your stand mixer, cream up:
1 cup brown sugar;
1 stick plant-based butter (earth balance!)
2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
-
add in:
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
2 XL ripe bananas, or 3 average sized jauns or whatever;
whisk together well,
and toss in:
1 cup whole rolled oats;
1/2 cup medium flake unsweetened coconut;
2 cups flour;
2 tsp baking powpow;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/3 cup mini baby chocolate chips!!!
^plot twist! those little chocolate drops turn these jauns right up to eleven,
but they're not so numerous as to overpower all the other flavors at all.
they're basically little dark miracles that dwell within the spirit of  the thing.
and that's dope!
...whisk it all up nice and fluffy, and then you can get into the good-good, guy.
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scoop the batter into greased muffin tins, about halfway full,
top 'em with toasted coconut spranks,
and bake them for 25 minutes.
expert almost isn't a strong enough word
to adequately describe the level of awesome these jauns possess.
it'll do tho, because they're tight and righteous, and soft and spongy,
and fruity and nutty and sweet and hearty,
and all those things are dope as heck.
***********
rain!
great.
y'know what's not awesome?
wet dog walks.
y'know what else i need?
new hiking boots.
yup.
thousands of miles logged on my current pair,
and they're finally ready to give up the ghost.
who knew i could wear out shoes?
i mean, who walks anywhere?
that's what poor people, and/or devoted drunk people, do.
thing is, all those worn out spots soak up water like a towel.
guess who's about to sloshfoot through the woods with his little milky boy?
huh?
because he's white and wet and only 2% smart, bro.
you get it, and you like it.
me and my wet dog, with our wet feet.
bedraggled and bedazzled by the wild woodsly goodness.
it's all really happening.
if it was easy, i'd have nothing to write about, would i?
that's it;
never quiet, never soft.....