Thursday, August 10


it's been waaaay too mutha-'ucking long.
for realsies.
when was the last time you saw it?
i don't even know if that's correct.
but i know for sure that it ain't right.
your boy over here has been preoccupied with all this big boy business,
and one specific spot in my life has suffered for it.
that's some loose-packed bullsh!t in the first degree,
and it's got to stop, pronto.
you know what i'm talking about?
oh.......sorry about that.
i'm talking about homemade hard-style hottness.
i'm talking about circles of echoing eternity.
i'm talking about pizza, neighbors.
a.k.a. the TRUTH.
i've been munchin' up on takeaway,
supporting the local pizza industry,
and trying to free up some extra time with walk-up pizza service-
as of yesterday,
my homemade high-hydration dough is fully slow-proofed, portioned,
and prepped for a special spree of stretched semolina sizzling
on the slate stone surfaced hearth of my very hot oven.
word up.
i need it.
i love it.
i missed it.
it's back, and i'm back,
and we're together, and that's beautiful.
check the triumphant-reunion-type teleport:

y'better gimme that pie, guy.
i came out for the comeback come-up swinging for the fences,
and what's more, i had company.
i know, right?!
relax, it was a dude.
yup my longtime client, ian, who also happens to be my genuine homeboy,
and actual friend, for that matter,
went, quite literally, out of his way to search for antique end tables
to accentuate the angles and the area of AMPERSAND TATTOO.
truly, i am humbled by the help of the people who've chosen to participate in this project.
and while that meant i only had half as much pizza,
i had ten times the camaraderie and that's a pretty damned good trade, really.
y'see that pizza pie up there?
it's terrific, and that's no joke.
the dough? dope.
the recipe?
right here:
in you stand mixer, with the dough hook on,
beat up the following:
2 cups white wheat flour;
1+ cup semolina flour;
1 tsp wheat gluten;
1 T salt;
4 T olive oil;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 T sugar.
1 1/2 cup warm water, activated with 1 tsp bread machine yeast (jar yeast, bro),
and a little pinch of energizing sugar.
knead it on that hook piece for eight or nine minutes,
wrap it and refrigerate it for at least eight hours,
overnight is better,
and a whole day is ideal.
i cut mine into equal portions for pre-measured individual pie doughs,
but y'all can do whatever you'd like.
the thing of it is, you'll STILL be psyched on a good crust
no matter how you decide to measure out the size.
real talk.
i hand-pressed a third of this newly proved dough onto a butter-bottomed pan,
and let it rise while my oven preheated to a toasty 490℉.
while the oven was firing up,
i had a couple of red potatoes, oiled, GPOP'd salted and peppered,
slow roasting along with the increasingly higher and higher heat.
by the time the oven was ready,
the potatoes were crisp-crusted and soft-centered
and basically completely expert as heck.
caramelized onions are my favorite homemade pizza topping.
they have ALL the flavor, man.
and with mozzarella AND cheddar daiya on the bottom,
the onions added a whole holy sh!tload of tastiness to the base.
and then there's the chopped broccolini.
c'mon, now.
that's so crawnchy, and so delicious, and packed with nutrients and sh!t like that.
braised with a dash of hot water, to steam and sear the raw off of it,
chopped into perfectly, decoratively delightful floret flak,
and tossed with abandon all over the place.
THAT'S how real dudes do it, when they're down to really do it to it.
true story.
there's weirdie baconical bits, too.
sorry, but i'm not sorry, because a little doo-doo buttery indulgence
in plant-based processed pink products once in a great while never hurt anybody that badly.
or, maybe it has,
but it was on there, and it made it taste better....
and those potatoes!
and tomatoes!!
also, rules is rules,
so you know i had those fried garlic sprankles on top.
no span of time can change that.
and just to turn it up to eleven?
radicchio shredsies...
F* yes!
too much is the right amount.....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ,
after a day off from tattooing, where i drove all over the state,
independent of ian's own statewide adventure, even-
i'm back to being busy as all get out.
there is work to do.
and i'm working on it.
dropping fat sacks of stacks on stacks,
and drawing up zaps and zaps of tats on tats.
it's all more than there is time for,
and it's all the same, all the time.
rush rush rush,
walk this F*ing dog,
work work work.
responsible adulthood is NOT for lazy people;
never quiet, never soft....

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