COFFEECOOKIEPIE!!!

COOKIE PIE.
damn that sh!t is doooooooope.
it's soft, with crispy edges,
and it's got all that thick cookiedoughy deliciousness,
plus, it's a pie.
i mean,
c'mon.
and when you combine coffee and chocolate, and chocolate chips,
and ground chocolate sprankles, too?
daaaamn, neighbors.
you're onto something exxxxtra-special,
and it just so happens i have a b!tchin' bunch of that speciality right here!
check the teleport:

THAT'S MOCHA, MUTHA-'UCKER!!!!!
and on the real?
it's too damned good.
you absolutely will love this.
that's no joke.
and here's how to fall in love, right away-
-
*
CHOCOLATE COFFEE COOKIE PIE!!
-
preheat your oven to 365℉.
-
in a medium mixing bowl, cream up:
1 stick (8T) plant-based earth balance butter-style goodness;
2/3 cup organic sugar;
1/3 cup light brown sugar;
2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp coffee extract
-
stir in:
1/4 cup strong espresso;
(or, optionally or even additionally,  3T instant coffee)
1/2+ cup chocolate chips;
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce.
-
next, sift in:
2 1/2 cups flour;
1 T ground espresso beans;
2 tsp bakey powder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1/4 cup oatbran (to bulk it up an' that- sub. +1/4 cup flour)
-
press your combined dough into a parchment-lined and trimmed 9" cast-iron pan,
and grate a whole hot mess of dark chocolate bar on top,
and definitely toss on some MORE choco chips as well.
after all,
too much is the right amount.
that's a thing.
when it's out of the oven,
where you've baked it for 25-33 minutes, depending on your oven,
and the desired soft-centeredness you've taken aim at,
let it cool enough to grate on even MORE and MORE sprankles.
yes.
and then, eat the hell outta that jaun.
nothing will be the same afterwards, and that's a good thing.
we're over here taking treats to eleven,
and by we, i mean mostly me, with crabtree doing his damnedest to derail the plans.
yup.
crabtree the shark-bullet bull-terrorist is NOT a helping hand,
more like a wrench in the works,
but i still choose him over most things all the time.
why?
because that's what we do, dudes.
friends take sides an' that.
it's so simple.
***********
whoah!
time sure does fly, huh?
i had my last day at the tattoo studio,
followed by the immediate institution of a carpe per diem guest spot,
at the very same studio.
wait....what?
mmhmm.
i love working.
i do.
it's all i do.
i've said it before, and it bears repeating now:
i can't stand fun.
not one bit.
there's work to do,
and i'm a working person who works with purpose-
all that day-off long-weekend fun sh!t is alien science to my brain.
i just do NOT understand it.
i don't even really grasp how i used to be into it.
i assume it was a chemical reaction inside my brain,
designed to make having tasty ladies around more likely,
and, by proxy, make me somewhat more likeable.
hahaha.
as if THAT was a thing.
...shoutouts to brain chemistry being super stoopid.
ANYway,
with no lil' mamas in sight, or even signaling from the horizon,
i've got eyes nowhere but on the prize,
which keeps me company alongside this damned dog.
therefore,
if the carpentry is taking a bit longer than even the outlier estimates anticipated,
i'm NOT going to take a vacation and enjoy the lull before the riot.
nope.
-i want ALL those stacks on stacks of movie checks-
which means that in the meantime, i've still gotta do something productive,
in between the process of progress on pictures and pinbacks and purchases.
yikes!!!
bros,
i'm still working, and then working, and then working.
it's a LOT to take in, and just at the actual metaphysical ledge of what i can handle,
but,
it's all really happening.
it's not fun,
and that's sort of my favorite part;
never quiet, never soft.....